authentic woman

Put On Your Red Dress…

clara54 — Fri, 13 May 2011 01:24:20 +0000

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And Join me at my new self- hosted site for women! Yes, finally, my new motivational & personal development website IS COMPLETE! Put on your high heel sneakers and bring your stories of triumph on your personal journey to authenticity… I will meet & greet your arrival at my new place of business. See you all here http://authentic-woman.net. Feel free to bask in the ambiance of woman power:)

Peace & blessing as I thank you all for your continued support and friendship!

Clara.

High-Heeled Shoes Hit New Heights (abcnews.go.com)
What do you mean heels are a bad idea on a boat? (ask.metafilter.com)
Spruce Up Your Look with Dress Shoes for Women (onlineshoes.com)

A Mother’s Day Guest Post…

clara54 — Fri, 06 May 2011 21:43:40 +0000

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Here it comes again – Mother’s Day. So you’re ready to head for the store to buy a card or a gift. Why not give the gift that’s free. Give your mother your time and let her know you love her.

This may not be an easy task for everyone. Not all of us came from loving backgrounds. If this was the case for you, it was probably also the case for your mother as a child.

It’s important to remember that we all have done the best we could have with whatever has come our way. Your mother also did the best she could too. Remember, there are no blueprints for parenting. It’s all a matter of learning on the job. Some mothers are just slow learners. They are not to be blamed.

You’re an adult now. It’s time to grow up. That may mean facing some of your own demons. The important point to remember is being able to face the past with honesty, to forgive, and to let go.

The following ideas may help you to move in the right direction:

* You may need to talk to someone, including a professional, in order to discharge past pain. It’s also important to remember all of those loving qualities that your mother possesses. Remember the good times that you have had.

* Try to put your life into a balanced perspective. Life is more good than not. Allow the healing to flow into your life. The beautiful thing is that you can make it all good if you live in the present and commit to it being so.

* The present moment is all you have and here it comes. The question is what you can do to make it a memorable one? Cards and flowers are nice, but they don’t compare with a more personal connection. Make a phone call. Better yet, spend the day with her. Relive the happy times. Let her know you love her. The gift you give to her will multiply. It will also be a gift you give yourself.

About the author:
Davis Aujourd’hui is creator of the highly- rated and hilarious Sister Mary Olga Fortitude- a series of nine books centered on religious and social satire.
He is a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York. He said it enabled him to become a student of the human condition. While doing so, he developed the
characters in his books in order to entertain a colleague of his using the gift of humor. He is socially-minded and spirituality, he says is the most important ingredient for him in order to maintain a happy and successful life. He lives in Upstate New York. For more information, visit: http://onealmediagroup.presskit247.com/DavisAujourdhui

Dedicated to All Mother’s Everywhere (frydaysbest.wordpress.com)
No Gift to Your Mother Can Ever Equal Her Gift to You- Life. Tell Her Today.. (123noticeboard.wordpress.com)

Guest Post By Roxane B. Salonen

clara54 — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 01:10:29 +0000

Keeping the highs and lows in perspective by Roxane B. Salonen

The words came at me unexpectedly from the radio waves in my minivan, striking a chord with my mother-heart. “You’re not as bad a parent as your worst child, nor as good a parent as your best child.”

Not that we need to label our children “best” and “worst,” but I knew exactly what the radio host, a child psychologist and father of ten, was getting at. On a week I’m feeling particularly exasperated as a parent, it was a healthy reminder of the need to keep things in perspective.

I needed to recall that our children are not ours but on loan to us by our Creator. They are with us for but a time so we might both teach and learn from them; to both draw them near and release them.

The balance can be utterly elusive, but I think it’s important to increase our awareness of where we begin and others leave off. As women, our nurturing tanks are expansive. Whether we’re acting in the capacity of mother, sister or friend, the fine line exists between when we’re to assume responsibility for those around us and when it’s time to step aside, to surrender a bit of our part in things.

Earlier in my journey as a parent, I didn’t understand this. When my children messed up, I saw it as a full reflection on me and my parenting. I was devastated my children had not lived up to expectations and felt the judging eyes of my community each time they didn’t act in a perfect manner.

I realize now my perception was skewed by my misperceptions of my role as a mother and my children’s capabilities. My expectations had been too high for both of us from the beginning.

In time, I began to see that each of our kids has strengths and weaknesses, some innate and some fashioned in part by our family unit and beyond. Likewise, I realized our children’s actions were not necessarily a pure reflection of my mothering but a result of a complex set of circumstances. Similarly, when they perform well, it’s as much inborn, God-given talent and opportunity as parenting ability.

The recognition is clear now: I can’t take any more credit for my kids’ achievements than the failures they’ve procured. But rather than stymying me, the revelation has been freeing. Through it, I’ve been able to step back from competing for “Mom of the Year” award and accept the honor of “Just a Mom Doing the Best She Can” with contentment.

We’re not here to fashion perfect people. We’re here to love them in all of their imperfections, and hopefully, to be loved by them in ways they are capable of expressing it.

Even though I’ve learned a few things through the years in this journey, each day seems another opportunity for more lessons. Case in point: Today I had a really rough day with my teen son. By the end of it, I was ready to admit full-out defeat. And then, as I was letting the tears flow in the presence of my husband, this same child came to where we were talking to thank me for a small act I’d done for him earlier that day.

“Do you realize he just told you he loves you?” my husband said as our son walked away.

“I guess you’re right,” I finally admitted with a sniffle.

Yep. Another lesson learned. The sooner we can recognize the humanity in our children, the sooner we can recognize our own.

I believe my words related to parenting can apply to many of our roles as women, whether in our work day as we go about the business of trying to harmonize with those around us, or at home as we move through the muck and miracles of family life.

Yes, we can and should rejoice when things go right, knowing we played a part, just as we should own up to where we may have contributed to a disappointment without assuming too much blame. Or, as another wise person in my life said recently, “Don’t let the highs get too high or the lows get too low.”

It’s good to keep life and our contributions in it, for better or worse, in perspective. In this way, we free ourselves to live authentic lives.

My heartfelt thanks to Roxane for providing us with great perspectives on parenting as we continue our journey to authenticity! Roxane blogs at http://roxanesalonen.blogspot.com

Authentic Woman Dilemma

clara54 — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 12:49:24 +0000

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Happy Monday Morning! I’m finding myself on the fence today because I’d planned on bringing you another great guest post from a well established writer, business entrepreneur, and mother. Yes, a mom who is like many of you, juggling business with raising a family. You won’t want to miss this very informative piece on parenting. Okay, now that I’ve gotten your attention? Here’s the dilemma. I had also envisioned using this wonderful guest post as a final farewell to what has been my Authentic Woman home for three years!

Yes, I am in the final stages of moving my motivational & personal developmental blog to what I hope will become it’s final resting place. A great, inviting & comforting place filled with valuable authentic women stories, ideas, meanderings, and a place for continued growth! Authentic-Woman.Net is in its final stages! At the end of the day or no later than Tuesday:) So, bear with me as I await news to the site’s grand opening. Stay tuned, there’s either going to be a great parenting farewell post here, or a welcoming post , opening the doors to my new site!

Peace & blessings,

Clara.

Guest Post: My Glamorous Life. (sixuntilme.com)
This Week’s Warm Link Hugs: April 3 (touchstonez.com)

Bringing Your Personal Style Into Spring

clara54 — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 13:29:13 +0000

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I recently completed a great interview with a fashion designer that was for lack of a better word, “the cat’s meow!” It went well. Today, I’m thinking about fashion, color, style, and the beauty of spring. About how women can bring their own sense of fashion & style into their personal shade of spring living. For example, Spring is about celebrating life, beauty and color. Even though, in my neck of the city, spring is anything but warm and cozy colorful right about now, I’ve decided to help it along in my space by coming up with fun & creative ideas to enhance my personal sense of who I am. Love daffodils and tulips? I do! They’re so delicate and rich with yellow, reds & purples; vibrant, inviting colors to place into that huge oddly shaped vase sitting on the diningroom table! Not so sustainable, but, beautiful nontheless!

Abstract paintings! Don’t you love the meshing of colors? And what an ideal way to keep your guests guessing their meaning or representation. Contemporary or abstract painting this spring placed along the stark white & bare walls will brighten any area in your home. Fragrance? The tantalizing fresh scents of lemons & tangerines; Consider placing some in that gold bowl sitting alone on the end table, wondering why you’re not stepping into spring. Throws anyone? Big comfy floor pillows placed here and there for comfort tv watching, or video game playing and just fun times?

Do away with those old kitchen towels. Hang some of grandmas back in the day terry cloth ones instead. The bath? Ah, the ambiance of a soothing bath. You’ll have to use your own ideas for this area. Gets sort of personal here:) The idea is to bring your own style into spring! As women, we love fashion and that’s a good thing. However, it’s style that leans into our authentic selves. “Fashion can be bought.” “Style must be possessed.”- Edna Woolman Chase. So what are you going to do to display your personal stlye this spring? Hmm, think I’ll visit a nursery…a garden on the balcony this spring? The one thing I know for sure?

Fashion lasts for a season. Your personal style? Endures for a lifetime!

P.S. Still open for your authentic woman stories! email me when you’re ready to share:)

READY OR NOT?! SPRING is here! (localfab.wordpress.com)
Fashion: Style Notes From the Trees (nytimes.com)

Guest Post By Mary Aalgaard

clara54 — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 00:21:48 +0000

Living into your Authentic Self

I am drawn to Clara’s blog because it is about being an authentic woman, learning how to live into your authentic self. I lost myself in a bad relationship and in giving away all of myself to others, so that when I got divorced, I had to meet myself all over again and say, “Who is Mary and what does she like to do? What are her gifts and talents, and where can she use them?”

I knew what they were. I knew what made me come alive, but I didn’t know how to make them grow, or if I’d have the courage to share them. I found myself in many coffee consultations, leaning over the steam of the mug, having real and meaingful conversations with friends. Then, I signed up for Scriptfrenzy last April. It’s an online support for people to write a script in a month, like the novel in a month that many people do in November. Characters had already been forming in my brain. I’d taken notes on dialogue, and the setting was clear. I’d have five women meeting regularly in a coffee shop. They’re a singing group, so they meet in the coffee shop to plan their music. Their next gig is the Race for the Cure luncheon in their town. Of course, real life drama happens as they discuss their music. Themes like breast cancer, losing a mom to the disease, relationships, and friendship.

When I first embraced my gift as a writer, I thought I’d write a novel, have a debut party, and that would be my first celebration and big publication. I’ve written two YA novels that won’t be published as is. They’re good novels, but they’re not great. When I’d get critiques, my exposition was too much telling, not enough showing, but my dialogue always got praise. I have an ear for dialogue. I can remember word for word what is said in conversations, how people talk, their word choices. It feels very natural to write it. All I’m doing is writing down what I hear. I’ve always been drawn to the theatre. Did a bit of acting in community plays, and I work with kids and drama where I help them develop their own characters and write their own script. I decided it was time to embrace the playwright in me, and write my first full-length play. The title is Coffee Shop Confessions. I’ve had a table reading where I invited a few talented friends to read it out loud. I served them breakfast and coffee, of course, and had one of the best mornings of my life. I was amazed at how beautifully they brought my characters to life. They added personality and spirit, and I knew this is what it meant to live into my authentic self.

So, as you’re going about your day, ask yourself: What makes me come alive? Then, do it, and marvel at the results. Don’t be afraid to live into your authentic self. When you do, you will come alive, and you will find yourself inspiring others.

Thank you, Clara, for inviting me to be a guest on your wonderful blog. I am blessed by our connection.

Peace,

Mary,

My thanks to Mary, an accomplished Pianist & Playwright for so kindly consenting to share her journey to authenticity! To read more of Mary’s work, go to www.maryaalgaard.blogspot.com. The doors are now open. If any woman wants to share with us their “aha” moments to living and learning from life experiences, send me an email.

Five Essentials For A Smooth Babyboomer Lifestyle Change

clara54 — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 15:26:14 +0000

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Life is about change. For the Baby Boomers, change has never been so evident. Change can be good. Even during these times, when we’re not only feeling the pinch of economics, but for many of us, we’re still trying to adjust to the upheaval in our personal as well as our professional lives.

After 50, everything from the perspective of the ‘Baby Boomer‘ is that things seem to go downhill.

Whereas men have their own personal midlife crisis, in most instances can be lessened with the purchase of a new set of wheels, or a much needed vacation and an occasional night out with the guys.

It’s the Baby Boomer women who, oftentimes can’t seem to get a handle on this frightening life change also known as “midlife transitions”.

Here are 5 essential keys Baby Boomer women and men can use to help jumpstart our journey into the second phase of our lives:

1. Accentuate the Positive
What’s going good in your life right now? Make a list of all the things you like about being you. For instance, you’re compassion, your smile, your ability to make friends or your expertise in the kitchen. Whatever brings a good feeling inside and causes others to want to know you.

2. Tap into your Family and Friend Support Base
Allow your closest friends and family members to act as an objective ear, offer sound advice, or supply a bridge of comfort during those times you need it most. Now is not the time to be alone, and you’re not.

3. ‘Doubt the Fear’
A wonderful motivational/inspirational speaker, Guy Finley, tells us how to ‘doubt’ the fear that comes with the ‘not knowing’. Change is scary. For the Baby Boomer in transition, on a journey of rediscovery, the fear of not knowing can cause anxiety, anger and self-doubt. According to Guy Finley, when you doubt the fear, it renders ‘fear’ powerless!

4. Dare to Dream!
Baby Boomer Women have been so busy during their first phase of life by literally being all things for everyone else, other than themselves – mothers, daughters, wives, co-workers, friends, chauffeurs, cooks, busy, multitasking women… Now it’s your time to shine. Find out what make you happy and set out to follow your dream. It’s no longer ‘a man’s world’.

5. Know that you are Productive
Once Baby Boomer woman and men have began to apply the keys that will help to jumpstart their second, third and fourth phase of living life, we will embrace the endless possibilities that life offers.

With the journey of re-discovery comes the knowledge. The knowing that Baby Boomers have made and will continue to make important contributions to our lifestyles, our communities…Our world

Believe and achieve fellow babyboomers!

Baby Boomers and Dealing Life (lifestyleandfamily.wordpress.com)
‘Baby-boomer` study shows importance of childhood (physorg.com)

Conditioning Ourselves For Survival

clara54 — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 13:34:06 +0000

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I grew up watching my mother kneel down on her knees every night as she prepared for bed. She’d appear to be praying like that, on her knees, hands clasped together, whispering in tones that only God could hear.

As a young adult, I hardly ever got down on my knees to pray. My mother’s ritual seemed somehow archiac to me, yet, I always sought solace from this unforseen power I’d come to know as God whenever life seemed unbearable and there was no one on earth I could tell my troubles…I did, as I grew up believing, that I should take it to God in prayer.

The journey into midlife led me to seek out the wisdom and teachings of philophers,mystics, scholars, scientists and masters of studies in religions and spirituality, I’m one of the sheep under the guidance of Jesus Christ as I continue to live life experiences.

Far from being a religious fanatic, I give credence to all faith based areas of worship, refusing to pit one person’s belief against another’s.

In “Your Best Life Now” Joel Osteen
reminds us that our God is a supernatural God. That we are spiritual beings living a human existence. I tend to agree with the positive aspects of his teachings as opposed to the hell and brimstone ways of traditional churches where I grew up and have since avoided. Spirit is so much more than doctrine documented and interpeted down through the ages.

God wants us to live a life of expectancy and I certainly do. I believe that in the face of hardship, where pain, disappointments, hard decisions, loss and devastation brings our bodies to our knees…God is there holding us up.

Recently, a very dear friend had to make an agonizing decision when it came to her son. In the end, it was a painful, but, selfless act that she decided . Soon after she’d done this thing, her son called from miles away. He said he was adjusting well, his message of hope evident in their conversation.

When women are suffering,we tend to want to curl up in a ball and wish for disappearance. This is not reality. We are spiritual beings, living a human existence…We must not be afraid to believe that nothing is too big for God…It is a matter of faith…

Continue to work at your passion. Continue to believe when life gets hard. Continue to pray to a power so much bigger than yourself and never throw stones when some other person’s beliefs differs from your own…It is not yours to judge.

Clara B. Freeman

Growing Spiritually in the Public Eye (acmul.wordpress.com)

From Voices Of The Dream-African-American Women Speak

clara54 — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 12:17:38 +0000

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Today marks the end of Black History Month. Although my history will always be carried in my heart, inside my head and upon the strengths of my back, because I pay homage to all of the freedom fighters, trailblazers, and folks who became a mini nation in a stance for justice and equality for men ,women & children…I’m in awe & inspired by some of these great folks. So, I want to share with you all, some of these inspiring messages from great African-American women found in the inspiring & powerful book: VOICES OF THE DREAM!

I am not going to die, I’m going home like a shooting star-Sojourner Truth

Our skins may differ, but from thee we claim A sister’s privilege and a sister’s name-Sarah Forten

I knew we had no aviators, neither men nor women, and I knew the race needed to be represented…so I thought it my duty to risk my life to learn aviation and encourage flying among men and women of our race- Bessie Coleman

One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest- Maya Angelou

Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside-Margaret Walker

For I am my mother’s daughter, and the drums of Africa still beat in my heart. They will not let me rest while there is a single negro boy or girl without a chance to prove his worth-Mary McLeod Bethune

When I found I had crossed that line, I looked at my hands to see if I was the same person. There was such a glory over everything; The sun came like gold through the trees, and over the fields, and I felt like I was in Heaven- Harriet Tubman

For we are strong now! Able-bodied seeds strewn from the strongest of Oak and we thank you Southern Woman of Color- Clara Freeman, in Memory of Alberta Brown, born March 1st…

Happy Birthday, Mama!

Harriet Tubman and the Civil War (dmitryev.wordpress.com)
75 Great Black History Month Quotes (brainz.org)

Your Hug Fund Contribution

clara54 — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 12:34:17 +0000

Image by law_keven via Flickr

Hello to you women who have joined me on this early morning rise! It’s a bit cloudy here in Illinois, which tends to aid the pain in my arthritic shoulder, but you know what? ” Still I rise!” Today I’m writing about “Hugs”. That four little letter word packs a powerful punch! You know how we hug our children when they’ve done a good thing, or just to let them know, we love them? How we give those well deserved snippits of affection to our mates? It’s all about an outpouring of giving in the physical. Women are nurturers, that’s clear. We tend to open our hearts to & take care of the people we love without a second thought. Oftentimes, we’re so determined to show affections to others, we forget to, well, “hug” ourselves.

We have this Annual Charity at my job where we assist others on staff who have fallen on hard times. It could be loss of a loved one. Financial straits suffered within the confines of their homes. A sudden illness in the family or something as joyous as a new parent needing help . The staff pitches in and host a variety of things; Bake sales, barbecues and small monetary contributions all going toward helping another co-worker and contributing to their “Hug Fund”.

In a way, we’re giving hugs to others and somehow helping them feel better. Well, it’s never too late to apply the same principle to you. Contributing to your personal hug fund by literally huging yourself and thanking the good lord for creating a fierce women? Sound good to me:) By remembering to give yourself a hug on those arthritic days (ok, my arthritic day) those failed to meet your goal days and those waiting to hear back from a job interview days…are all good reasons to add to your personal hug fund…Has someone came into your life for a season only to bid you adieu? Give thanks for the times you shared and go “HUG” yourself!

Good Morning Sunshine…

authentic woman

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