Fear: The Great Saboteur

16 Mar

Happy Monday, warrior women! It’s such a beautiful day. I hope everyone is feeling the bliss:) Today I want to raise a question. With a show of hands, how many of you have allowed fear to block your blessings? My hand is raised and I’m not the only one, thank you very much:) According to a  recent survey, a whopping 93.7% of us have practiced or are practicing self-sabotage in our lives, in more than one area of our lives. Doesn’t that statistic blow your mind!?!

thfears storyNow that we have the facts about fear, we have to face the fallacy head on.  It’s not enough to know that we’re not alone. I mean, Oprah even admitted to having fear! Fear is a personal thing that doesn’t discriminate. Once we admit that we have fear, we have to make the decision to overcome it each and every time it rears its imaginary head.

Sometimes we build stuff up in our minds. You know, we tell ourselves the stories that will cripple and prevent us from moving ahead in our lives and even cause us to make a situation more dire than it is. It could be anything from refusing to date that hot fellow whose been asking you out for fear of rejection, to stopping just short of knocking at your employer’s office, to demand that raise you know you deserve ( well, maybe not demand, but, do lean in) because you just know you’re going to get laughed out of the office.

We can overcome fear. I know because I recently faced fear head on (definitely not the first time) and had the best time on a blog-talk radio interview recently, when a colleague and I took to the airwaves to promote our relationship book. The host was personable, professional and real. His pleasant aura immediately put our fears to rest and made the experience enjoyable for all involved.

Attempting something for the first time can give you cause for hitting the rewind button, but, don’t allow yourself to sabotage yourself when your blessings are calling.

overcoming fearFear is such a baseless distraction! I mean, what’s the most that can happen? Either you get the job or you don’t. You either win the race, the guy, the girl, the contest, the competition or you don’t.When something serious affects our lives and we become afraid. We should not allow fear to simmer and distort the outcome. Only God has the answers to those things we cannot change. In such instances, stay strong in your faith, seek the comfort of friends and loved ones and continue to pray.

People have many fears. Life is too short and it’s time we just walked right into the belly of the beast and claim our victory! Are you with me? Good, I knew you would be. I’m going to be taking the remainder of March off and I’m hoping to see all of you commenting on how you overcome your fears, in my absence.

Peace, blessing and remember to always treat yourself special.

thfear not

13 Women Of Authentic Influence

10 Mar

Happy Women’s History Month, women of influence!

Women are nurturers and have been soothing life’s pains and ills for centuries. When mothers welcome their children into the world, their only concerns are for the needs of their children. In honor of Women History Month, I’d like to pay homage to the women influencers who impacted my world and led me to make me better by making better life choices, including keeping a positive outlook on life, speaking out against injustice, encouraging the voice in others, listening to the concerns of our children, welcoming the wisdom of the elders and staying true to the woman I have become.

Here are my 13 picks for authentic women of influence who impacted my life choices.

My mom- bless the heart of my mother who would have tuned 87 years old this month in March, had she not transitioned in 2001.  Mama taught me morals, values, compassion for others and took me to church where I learned the spiritual foundation of one God who gave his son so that I could have life. Because of my mama’s dedication to church and God, I live a spiritually grounded life.

Jacqueline Eubanks- my best friend and mentor for well over 20 years. Before I even accepted that my love & passion was in my work as writer and advocate, my creative gifts were recognized and encouraged by this woman of wisdom and influence. She used her own money to purchase literary books for me to read and encouraged me to live my dreams…

thmaya angelou  Maya Angelou’s, “I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings”, lit a fire in the bosoms of a then 18 year old naive country girl and made it alright for her to speak her truths.

 

 

thangela Angela Davis allowed me the freedom to be proud of the black skin I am in. I was the only girl in my high school class in the 70s to wear an afro on graduation day. I was saying it loud and very proud!

 

thhelen gurley brownHelen Gurley Brown made it okay for young women to talk about sex without thinking God was going to strike them down. I wasn’t having much sex, but the thought was constantly on my mind:)

 

thnikkigLord, I was feeling so down after hearing news reports about the cases of unsolved murders of little black boys in Atlanta. When I read “Those Riding The Night Winds”, I knew this sistah’s compassion mirrored my own. And her love for the genius of Tupac Shakur doesn’t go unnoticed.

 

thgwendolynMs. Brooks was special guest at a poetry slam I attended in the city. I tentatively gave her a copy of my one and only book of poems that night and hurried back to my seat. I wondered if she’d even bother to read them. Weeks later, I received a small card in the mail. A thank you card from Gwendolyn Brooks assuring me that she recognized the positives in my work and advised me to “keep-a-going!”

 

thgloria steinemI didn’t really understand what a feminist was, until I heard Gloria Steinem speak! Women are not subservient , docile creatures that walk ten paces behind their men. We have something to contribute to society and that something matters!

 

thlorraine hansberryShe had an interesting, although short life where she smoked and drank and wrote historical plays, including the historical, “ A Raisin In The Sun.”  Inspired by brilliance, My attempt to write a one-act play got a rejection from a Louisville Theater, along with an invite to submit again the following year.

 

thmoms mableyMy older brothers would steal “raunchy” albums from our parents room and listen to them in their absence. I was younger and no threat to my siblings secrets, so I listened too. This woman with the raspy brand/voice of humor, made laughter a necessary component to ease life’s struggles. (sort of akin to BLUES music) It was ratchet stuff, but I loved me some Moms Mabley.  I learned later in life about the savvy business woman behind the stage name and Moms persona.

 

thwinnieWow, to be an activist for your people. To stand up against a country built on the foundation that was known as Apartheid. I was so impressed by how this woman stood beside her husband, Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned because of his fight against white supremacy in his native land. Winnie Mandela helped to change a nation and that takes courage.

 

th cicely tysonThere’s no one like Cicely Tyson. She’s a real actress, whose roles in film and television reflects a caring and compassionate woman who stands for freedom and the rights of all people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thpage Geraldine Page in “ The Trip To Bountiful” reflects the realism of women on the journey to finding their “ish”..that awesome and unforgettable something that came from soil of their soil and, that oftentimes cause them to want to recapture that place in time.

 

 

After 4 decades of living life. I’ve learned from so many wonderful folks in the world, men and women. I’ve not personally met any of them, save for Ms. Brooks, but I’ve learned from them and taken nuggets of wisdom from their life experiences, for the betterment of my own.  If there’s a woman or women you’d like to honor for Women’s History Month, please feel free to share.

Remember your greatness and always treat yourself special.

Listen To Our Author’s Interview On BlogTalk Radio

3 Mar

“The secret to success is not in pursuing large goals. It is in pursuing the small ones which lead to the larger ones.”

http://player.cinchcast.com/?platformId=1&assetType=single&assetId=7401121

Check Out Culture Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with DuB WyZe TaLk on BlogTalkRadio

Good Morning, warrior women! Well, I failed to speak inspirational messages to you all as usual on Monday, because I spent the better half of the day prepping for a guest appearance on Dub WyZe TaLk, which airs nightly on blog-talk radio. My friend and colleague, Evelyn Cogdell and I were invited on the show by Judah Stallworth, owner and host of Dub WyZe TaLk, to talk about our latest collaboration, “The Essence of Romance.”

This latest book from Evelyn is a must have dating/relationship guide for couples and singles looking to form a meaningful, trusting and loving relationship with their significant other- by bypassing red flags and the usual angst’s that comes with relationship hookups and breakups.

Between the two of us, Evelyn and I have taken our relationship wisdom that comes from living and learning from life experiences, along with researched data and statistical findings from sex therapists, celebrity relationship experts and wise things our mothers told us, to produce a great source of inspiration, education and food for thought for everyone in the dating age demographic. 

ESSENCE surpasses race, religion and cultural differences, as it examines the pros and cons of relationships. In other words, this book is the real deal and I hope that all of you grab a copy in support of its success :)

The above quote on success felt right for me to share with all of you. I define success in my personal and professional life by each small step that I take on my mission to serve and I feel this book will find success. When Evelyn Cogdell asked if I would collaborate with her on her latest book, I said yes, because I know she felt called to share her truths that could possibly help or heal another person.

If you are passionate and compassionate about your purpose, your personal gratification in the form of achievement will come with each small step you take in the right direction!

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy of Essence of Romance, purchase information is shared by the author on the interview. Peace and blessing. And remember to always treat yourself special.

Healing Through Meditating Moments

23 Feb

Happy Monday, women of substance! If you woke up feeling restless, instead of rested and harried, instead of hopeful, then you’re probably stressed.  As a nurse for well over 30 years, let me just say, you’re not the only one and there is something you can do right where you are, in the moment, that can ease your mind, bring a smile to your face and return you back to the healing process of mind, body and soul… It’s called Meditation.

Meditation not only helps relieve your stress and anxiety , it reconnects you to your spirit ‘self’ and your soul purpose for being. I don’t meditate often, but when I do, it’s because I know I need a space for solitude, serenity and surrender. So, go on and get quiet within yourself, for yourself and watch your spirit soar:)

Whatever positive you’ve implemented in your life to get to a place of healing, by all means continue the practice of making yourself better.

Be a Blessing…

A Ton of Thanks!

16 Feb

Happy Monday, visionaries! I love what I do. I love helping to empower the voice in other women on their personal path to ‘becoming.’  Apparently, judging from the surge in Authentic Woman followers and such great awesome social media connections, you folks seem to like what I do as well “aww shucks!”:)

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For every one of you who make my purpose possible, thank you. It’s because of all of you that I get to speak my truths and aspire to inspire you to do the same. The wonderful poet and author, Dr. Maya Angelou was spot on when she said,”You know better, you do better.”

I know better and strive to take my mission seat amongst those of honor and influence every single day. Joel Osteen said, “‘You think better, you’ll live better.” All I can say is Amen to that:)

So, thanks a ton to all of you for being the authentic women you are…for recognizing the authentic gifts in others…for shining a light on someone else, just because, and for keeping it real as you are blessed to be a blessing to others. I want to give a super special thank you to my wonderful twitter professionals for adding Authentic Woman to their lists as someone to follow.

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No more excuses, women and men of valor, speak your life and treat yourself better.

What Does “Having It All” Mean To You?

9 Feb

Happy Monday, women of valor! There’s been some debate in the past concerning women, asking the age-old question, “Can women have it all?” I never seriously thought about it, one way or another, because I’ve accepted that I’m living the life I’m destined to live and doing what I love to do. If you’re a woman with a career, a mortgage, a husband and children in tow?

Perhaps, you are frazzled and feel like you can’t have it all.

Personally, I think having it all is doing what you love, loving what you do and loving yourself in the process. I wanted to share another take on having it all, from the perspective of Christy Whitman, who asked subscribers to share her video and new book on having it all. Enjoy!

I encourage all of you to share your voice on the topic as it affects you in your personal space. I look forward to reading your thoughts and hearing your voices...

Whether you feel like you can have it all or not, always treat yourself special.

Building On Your Relationships

3 Feb

Hi ladies.  I Hope everyone is keeping warm and being cautious on the roads if you have to venture outdoors. I wanted to post about relationships because we all know this is the month of “Amore.” And I have a special announcement at the end of this post:)
We know it doesn’t matter if you’re building a business relationship, love relationship, or if you’re cultivating true friendships, you have to be real about it. Why is it no longer cool to ‘fake it till you make it’? Because intuitive People can smell a “fake” from a mile away and they’re not down with the fake in you anymore. Besides, it’s a new year, a new day and a new season for you to live your authentic truths.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????In love relationships, you have to earn the trust of your potential love interest. You began by putting your best self forward and being real. Don’t embellish and pretend you’re all of that when you’re really not.

In November of 2014, Steve Harvey gathered 100 men and an audience of women on his talk show where they took part in a survey posing relationship questions and answers from both sexes.

Here are questions asked by women:

When a relationship is over, why is it easier for men to move on?

66% of men said it’s not easier, they just make it look that way. Men are raised to be tough and not show their emotions and men do not have venting sessions like women. ( my thought is that men need to know that women are endeared to them when they cry and show emotion)

What drives men to cheat? 70% of men answered “Detachment” and 30% said “Sex”

Why is it that when men are caught in a lie, they never admit it? 38% of men responses were, if they hold their ground, women might believe them. Some of the men said that trust would be a disaster and they wanted to spare women feelings.

thfairytale eThe three most important things men feel they can give to women are: 1. Loyalty 2. Respect and 3. Security… followed by honesty and time.

The three things women wanted from men were: 1. Love 2. Loyalty and 3. Support.

Now, of course, there’s more that women want from the men in their lives and vice versa, but it’s about discernment and the ability of both parties to keep the lines of communication open.

And one more thing both sexes need to practice on the road to a true love/trusting relationship, is to avoid taking your anger to the bedroom. You see, tomorrow is not promised and you never want to live a life of regret.

I hope this relationship post was as fun for you as it was for me:) Please add your insights to the mix and I hope your true love finds you in record time.

Now for the good news! My friend and colleague, Evelyn Cogdell’s and my relationship book, “The Essence of Romance”, is published and available for purchase, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

I have never spent so much time researching material for relevant data, fact checking and expert findings, along with some fun op-eds on maintaining loving couples relationships:) For details on purchase info, shoot me an email.

Go ahead and treat yourself special!

15 Awesome Self-Esteem Boosters

26 Jan

thbowlHappy Monday, women of vision! What, your morning not going so great? Feeling like you don’t fit in or have everything you need? That true love passes you by or that you’re just not enough? Hmm, you might  need to get your joy back sista friends. You have to be reminded of who you are and whose you are and you also need to believe those three glorious words, “I am enough!”

Here are 15 of my authentic Monday morning self-esteem boosters to use in your life and help get you back to a place of self love and self appreciation:

1. I’m kind, compassionate, dependable and loyal

2.I live a visionary life of purpose and possibility

3. I am enough and I am somebody!

4. I’m special and created…one of a kind.

5. I love myself from the inside out

6. My friends are authentic and accept me just as I am.

7. I accept my friends for who they are

8. I believe in sowing seeds

9. I’m too blessed to be stressed or intimidated

10. I appreciate every achievement, big or small

11. I don’t sweat the small stuff and find there’s always a solution to the big stuff

12. I am recognized for my service to empower the voice in others

13. I am grateful, humbled and blessed to be appreciated

14. I know I’m not perfect and accept my mistakes as life lessons to make myself better

15. I am loved. I know because God tells me so…

thawesome

Comedian, author and talk show host, Steve Harvey spearheads a mentoring camp for boys. He tells them something that I’ve taken as an awesome mantra for anyone who wants to power up their self-esteem.

“Think of yourself as the next great something because that’s exactly what you are.”

wow:)

Always treat yourself special!

Inspirational Quotes In Honor of Martin Luther King Jr.

19 Jan

thquesHappy MLK Holiday! Okay moms and dads, I know your children are happy to be out of school. Y’all just gotta role with it:) This post is dedicated to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and how his courage under fear and fire changed a world! Yes, Doctor King was a human man who wanted to live a long life, but he was called to carry out his mission by the most high-God and was cut down by hatred’s bullet in the process.

In appreciation for all of those freedom-fighters, known and unknown, I wanted to keep the fires fueling hope, equality and non violence going by penning inspiring quotes from the mouths of visionary men and women whose messages to the masses will touch your heart and fuel your purpose to making a difference in the lives of others:

1.”Dreams have no color” George Lopez

2.”It’s OK to dream at any age” George Lopez

3. “If you live long enough you’ll see everything” Cicely Tyson

4. “You have to let go of the old to receive the new” Joel Osteen

5. “Think of yourself as the next great something because that’s exactly what you are”… Steve Harvey mentoring young men

6. “Rise up and walk your life better not resentful and bitter” Clara Freeman

7. “I believe without laughter there is no point at all!” Lauren Bacall

8. “The day I think that I have made it, I’m finished. I use every single experience, every single day as a day of education. Every single thing that happens in my life; I am the sum total of everything I am”…Cicely Tyson

9. “Patience, Persistence and Perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success” Napoleon Hill

10. “Rise up out of the ashes and grab the something bigger and better to your future.” Joel Osteen speaking from scripture…”God will give you beauty for ashes.”

“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

The movie, “Selma” opened in theaters on January 13th. Dr. Martin Luther King’s Birthday was January 15th.We celebrate his life and legacy on this day, January 19th, 2015 as Marin Luther King Day. If you haven’t seen this movie, please do and take your children to see history in the making.

thkingHave a beautiful MLK holiday!

And always treat yourself special…

 

Go Get Your Blessings and Accomplish Great Things

12 Jan

Happy Monday, women warriors! Last year, a friend and colleague dedicated a record to me in the spirit of encouragement and empowerment in my soul purpose to bring about positive change by empowering the voice in other women. The song is by the popular sister duo Mary Mary, called “Go Get It!”
If you haven’t heard this powerful testament to who you are and whose you are and how special you are, now you can:)

Don’t bring old habits of discord, discontent and self depreciating thoughts into a brand new year for new beginnings. The mistakes and failures of previous years should not be a source of contention going into the New Year. Don’t be too hard on yourself as you will  learn to turn past regrets into positive lessons for change.

It’s okay to approach your challenges from a different direction until you achieve the results you seek. In this new year make it a point to believe and trust in yourself and never give in to doubts, uncertainty or other people opinions for how they think you life should be.You have to know and believe that you are headed in the right direction of accomplishing great things.

God doesn’t want you to think small. You honor him by thinking BIG. He gives you a wide berth to accomplish great things in this one and only life source that you have as a spiritual being, living a human existence.

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Maybe your contributions won’t save the world, but they just might make a positive difference in another person’s life who is in need of inspiring intervention. Authentic women Step up to claim your blessings by stepping out of those doubts and fears that plagued you in 2014. In living life experiences you will face many challenges. You have the power to get to the other side of struggle by any positive means necessary!

This New Year, resolve to do one positive thing each day and celebrate every accomplishment great and small on your truth journey to ‘Becoming.’

Always treat yourself special and go get your blessings!

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