Three Keys To Possibility

18 May

Prayer

Practice

Perseverance…

Happy Monday, women of purpose! I’ve been going over my notes for today’s’ post and I wanted to write about the  power of possibility. Life offers you a myriad of possibilities and opportunities. But, we have to stay optimistic, even through the setbacks and discouragement we’re bound to face. Remember Rome wasn’t built-in a day. And you will find success in your chosen endeavors. The three p’s I always incorporate into the healing phase of my purpose life, includes the resilience and comforting effects of constant prayer; putting into practice those things I believe in and persevering through the pain of disappointingly hard times.

thlong pIn the years leading up to my decision to end my career in nursing, my heart knew that the time to leave was inevitable and so I asked God every night to show me, in some small way, that I was on the right path to reclaiming my health, my happiness and ultimately, my life.

Needless to say, the way to my personal and professional redemption has been long and laborious, but I could not have the lifestyle that I have now, if not for prayer, continued practice and perseverance. I needed to remain open to the possibilities that my gifts, talents and skills afforded me. I also embraced the opportunity of more education and practice work that reached beyond the field of healthcare. I needed to share my purpose gifts with the world in the belief that my voice would plant a seed and make a positive difference to someone who needed to reap the harvest.

Where there is life, there is possibility. Where anything’s possible, it is for sure that opportunity will come knocking. I think when change comes into our lives, we automatically think of failure and setback and struggle. But, when we open ourselves to the possibility of something good coming from the muck of despair, the universe hears and opens the path leading to greater growth and prosperity.

Learn to separate your needs from your wants and make prayer your safe harbor. My reality of prayer is the knowing that “The Lord Is My Shepherd!” My faith comes by believing in something greater than myself and that when I pray, my prayers are answered.   When you believe in the power of prayer, the universe opens its spiritual wings to guide your steps.

That higher power we are taught to believe and trust in, is God, the father. Jehovah. Allah and Buddha. That higher power is whatever works in your life to make you spiritually aware and receptive to your blessings. I know that I don’t walk alone because my God got me.

thpurBelieve in yourself, in your dreams and, in your Gods’ gifts that are yours alone. In the words of the late poet, Gwendolyn Brooks, in response to some of my early works, “keep-A-going!” The lesson here? You never give up, even when you face hardship and difficulties.

Don’t give up the battle until you’ve done everything in your power to win the war. I am living proof that when you persevere through the trials and tribulations that comes from living life experiences, your life will be golden.

 

Stay optimistic and strong and always treat yourself special!

The Authentic Woman-Who Is She?

11 May

cutcaster-photo-100374963-Tribal-African-woman-with-headwrapThe authentic woman-who is she? She’s me. She’s you. She’s every woman who has entered into the realm of reawakening to their greatest truths.

Hello women of substance. I hope your Mother’s Day was spectacular!  You know, I often receive Google searches for this site, asking what it means to be an authentic woman. So on today’s post, I want to shine a truth light in answer to what some of you might be asking yourselves in regards to living a lifestyle of authenticity.

Trying to stay on the path to living a life of positives and authentic truths is not without its challenges, but because you have made the choice to live a centered life of spiritual awareness, purpose and possibility, you will face and defeat your challenges as they occur.

When you are authentic, you’re living your life straight up, without “fake” certificates, where you bend with the wind when you’re trying to live up to some other person’s perception of who they feel you should be. When you’re being real with yourself and with others, you show that you are not a perfect being and own your stuff!If you don’t agree with something or someone, you will voice your opinion with respect and assertiveness. You are not a liar, backstabber or someone’s shadow. You are your own person and you’re happy being you.

Authentic women try to avoid the ‘clique’ mentality and fare better being true to themselves in a group of pretenders. Authentic women will keep it real with you and keep your confidence in a circle of gossips. When you’re living an authentic lifestyle, you live in awareness where you’re knowing that it’s not all about you,but it is about helping to make life better for someone else. Authentic folks don’t kiss and tell, as in sowing seeds to the less fortunate and then taking out a front page ad in the community newspaper, to boast about the great deed they’ve done.  Trust and believe that when you do good, the good you do will make itself known.

You are an authentic woman who lives a life of integrity and purpose. You’re compassionate and passionate about the rights of every human being, young and old. Black and White. Asian or African. You are a child’s advocate, an elder’s guardian and a woman’s voice of reason. You’re not immune to pain and sorrows of life, but, you’ve learned that it’s never good to settle into a place of misery. You know that bad things happen to good people and you trust and believe through faith, that God got you. You don’t judge others for their religious or spiritual beliefs. You know the value of forgiveness and letting go.

I’m always happiest when I’m helping women use their voice and walk in their “purpose” truths. Many emails have come to me from women on their path to experiencing an authentic change. They have questions and concerns about the choices they make. Questioning the unknown on an inevitable journey to re awakening is a normal reaction to change happening from within.

Believe in yourself and know that your path to ‘becoming’, is the journey that leads to your greatest ‘Self’.

th embrace

 

 

You Can Retrain Your Brain And Change Your Life

4 May

thbrainHappy Monday, women warriors! Men are not excluded from this post because what I’m called to share can be beneficial to their emotional, physical and mental well-being as well, and it all begins with how you train your brain.

We all know that the mind is a terrible thing to waste, right? but did you also know that by training your brain to think positive thoughts instead of negative thoughts, you can obtain a clear attitude adjustment and live a more self affirming and fulfilling lifestyle? Well, you can and I’m living proof of that.

In 2012, as some of you may know, I ended my 30 decade (and counting) nursing career. What you might not know is that I had no choice. I went to work every day, feeling overwhelmed and deflated by what I knew to be a lack of people “caring” in Healthcare; knowledge that would call me to suffer physically, mentally and emotionally.

I’ve always prided myself on being a strength in times of trouble. Now, I was in trouble, but I refused to give up. Call me stoic and old-fashioned, but for me, taking a nurse oath to care for patients with empathy and compassion, kept me anchored in the performance of my duties, which I carried out with respect and dignity to those in my care. My work ethic endeared me to my patients and them to me.

As a perceptive person, with the intuitive gift of knowing I became bewildered by how some doctors and nursing supervisors viewed their positions, in regards to their patients. For all intent and purposes, the duty of caring for and returning patients to their best maximum health, seemed to take a back seat to chasing patient assets and keeping a sharp eye on the paper trail of supply and demand, while trimming the fat where applicable.

To make it clear, Healthcare is a business. At the end of the day, people have to be paid for their services.  Hospitals and healthcare facilities need its revenue to remain operative. That fact aside, I, as the nurse felt that the patient had somehow become the cash cow and healthcare and its employees had taken a nose dive. I’m not diminishing the value of nurses and doctors who are truly caring, compassionate souls, but, for me,  being in the environment I was working in, the feeling that those compassionate people were quickly becoming null and void, rested uncomfortably in my heart.

Needless to say, my departure from nursing wasn’t a pleasant memory. I might have gone on holding a negative distrust against the state of nursing and healthcare in general, had I not taken a look into my soul and trained my brain to remember the positives of life saving skills that doctors and nurses perform on the daily/24/7 in their professions, all over the world.

As with any profession, there’s bound to be those whose objective for being present is based on their own agendas and not those they’ve signed on to serve and carry out to the best of their ability. I was one of those nurses who felt helpless and powerless at how compassion and caring no longer seemed the impetus for operating a great place where people come to trust and rely on for their maximum healing and rejuvenation. I no longer wanted to be associated with people who seemed oblivious to what really matters in life.

Let me state for the record that what transpired in the medical facilities where I worked, eventually became catalysts of change that caused me to leave the profession. I cannot say all hospital’s doctors, administrators and nursing personnel suck at what they do, or perform their duties in a perfunctory manner. I cannot even fathom that to be true, overall. I can only tell you about my nursing experiences during the last ten years of my life, that left me feeling helpless, drained and weeping tears of sorrow, disbelief and disillusionment.The Florence Nightingale nursing persona had truly left the building.

thfree mindToday, my life is good. I live a life free from unbridled anger, hurt and disillusion. Because I’ve retrained my mind to stay on the positives that living life experiences brings, my mental and physical health is brighter. You have to believe that good always triumphs over bad.

I share my truths in hopes that you find the strength to let go of bad stuff that can eat at your heart and make you cold. Stay positive and stay prayerful. Make a change if you must, but, know that you can make yourself better by retraining your brain to let the negatives go and usher in positive thoughts of healing…

Always treat yourself special:)

Your Anger Management…

27 Apr

29268308-monochrome-anger-management-public-information-sign-isolated-on-white-backgroundHappy Monday, women of valor! Okay, let’s be frank about our truths:) When I was younger, I was prone to angry outbursts! I would react at any given time when something occurred in my life that made me see ‘red’ or ‘black’, depending upon the level of my anger and I would pounce with verbiage and fist ( in HS my principal gave me the title “Cassius Clay” while he was busily writing out my suspension) and I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

As a twenty something, relegated to the status of the working class, I no longer fought with my fists, but, I still gave a tongue lashing to co-workers, doctors and supervisors if I felt the need to do so. Of course, many times, my anger got me written up or suspended, more times than I care to remember.

When we grow into our truths (with age come wisdom) that comes from living and learning from life experiences, if we are truly compassionate people, have been raised with morals and values and have been taught the value of life, we will choose how we respond to things that cause us to get mad or experience anger issues.

Thank God I began a journey that allowed me to understand the difference between “reacting” and “taking action” for those things that are unsettling and just not fair in the world. At some point, I learned to stand for something and I will never fall for anything! I have learned the power of voice, the reason for taking a stance and how to get my point across and make an impact without feeling the need to lash out or cause physical harm to someone.

thfreeIf you recognize that your anger is irrational and you continue to react to situations instead of acting in a more positive and sound way, then you might need to seek professional help. When I decided to channel my anger in a more positive way by using my voice and professional platform to address the ill wills of the world, I was set free from the debilitating and emotional turmoil that being angry caused.

Don’t allow your anger to get the better of you, or turn you away from being a loving and warm person. Don’t allow anger to cause you to feel “cold” inside. A young mother and music production major told me recently how she felt cold toward society because of her desire to protect her baby girl from the dangers of the world. She is trying hard to get back to a place of being that kind person she’s always been.

Violence in the streets of Baltimore just erupted after six Baltimore policeman only received suspensions in relation to the death of yet another young black man, 25-year-old Freddie Gray! Apparently the young man died from spinal injuries sustained while in police custody. Injustices continue to emerge where it speaks to the eyes of the world, saying, in essence, that Black lives doesn’t matter.

My timely response to the new mother that I want to share with all of you, is that life continues on and we do the best we can with what we have to work with. We cannot save the world, but perhaps by using our voice, we can make a positive difference. One can only hope.

Continue to stand for justice. Free your mind from anger, hate, jealousy, standing in judgement of others and just live the best life you can…and always treat yourself special.

 

 

What Do You Want?

21 Apr

thcareerHello, women of substance! I hope your Monday was productive in some small way. I went to my dental appointment to get a cleaning and oral cancer exam. Happy to report  all is well:) I had been contemplating on posting the question, “What Do You Want?”for some time, but always thought I’d better not, thinking how that question has been asked often enough. But, I came home from my appointment and checked my emails, only to find this long letter from a woman who assured me she wasn’t a hoax or spammer, as she indicated to me by her attached resume.

It seemed Rena (not her name) had recently been let go of a long time job in accounting  where she was in a management position. Rena said she’d lost her passion for what she’d done  for so many years, but that she always loved helping people with their money, finances and business related problems.

Rena sought me out because she’d read some of my authentic woman story and she, too, had a passion for writing and wanted to give it a try. Rena asked how she should proceed. How many of us can relate? We spend the first half of our lives working in a sustainable job, only to lose it when the company goes bankrupt or make an economic decision to downsize and lay off their employees.

Rena no longer have a passion for the job and is about to embark upon a journey to reawakening to her truths; a journey that requires change and change can be scary. Rena is passionate about wanting to explore her love for writing, but she wants to hear from someone whose been down that path. She wants reassurance from someone (Me) to tell her it’s possible for her to make good on her passion.thlife change

Rena is not just about to change her career, she’s going to begin a path that will lead to a life change. I’m sure she is doing a lot of research on writing related topics. I’m hoping she makes a decision to use her gifts that includes offering services in financial matters to others who lack the skills she has when dealing with money matters.

Women who are about to embark upon a journey of change must ask the hard question, that only she can answer.”What Do You Want?”

“I want to do good in the world and make a sustainable living doing it!” C.F.

“To Thine Own Self Be True.” And always treat yourself special.

Why You Need To Check Your Tendency For Complacency

13 Apr

thcat cHappy Monday, warrior women! Are you ever reluctant to do something for yourself that you know you need to do? Do you rely heavily on friends, family , spouses and even your co-workers or colleagues to perform a task for you, that you’re capable of doing yourself? Are you stuck in your complacency mode?

Everyone who stops by to read my blogs (3 blogs) know how much I don’t like shopping for groceries or hitting the malls to purchase myself a new pair of something or another:) The point being, I’d much rather stay where I am, in the comfort of my own home and use the technology of the computer to get me what I need.

Well, that’s complacency folks! I just got around to making a much-needed dental and doctors appointment, actually knowing it’s been a necessity for a while. But, the idea of waiting, seemingly forever, until my name is called and I can see the doctor/dentist or going up and down aisles in the produce department in search of that vibrant head of lettuce in the grocery store, just never appealed to me. I suppose if I could have, I’d ask somebody to take those doctors/dentist visits for me:)

But, in order to get what we need, we know we have to do what we need to do. Same with people in business for themselves. You can’t keep asking other folks to do what you should be doing to promote your business brand. At some point, when you’ve infringed upon the kindness of another person one too many times, that person might began to feel overwhelmed by your neediness and might even start to harbor feelings of resentment toward you. Sometimes being complacent can cause you more trouble than you bargained for.

seize dayI recognize when I’m in avoidance mode.  And when I’m fed up with my own issues of complacency, I do what I need to do. In order for me to do me,  action is required. I don’t expect other people to do for me what I can do for myself. If you’re one of those folks who knowingly take advantage of the kindness of others, just because you’re in your complacency mode- happily accomplishing next to nothing, it’s time you recognize your dependency issues and correct them before you lose a valuable colleague, friend or family member.

Why ask other people to do for you what you know you can do for yourself?  Do not take for granted the kindness of others too many times.  Otherwise, you will become like the boy who cried “wolf.”

thcomplacency“Take Action!”

On Being Different…

6 Apr

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost poem The Road Not Taken

Happy Monday, women of truth! I hope everyone had a special Easter Sunday of worship, praise and good times. I spend my days in constant awe and humility for what the good lord has done for me and I’m so happy to know and appreciate the woman I’ve become.

I want to have a conversation about differences and coming to that beautiful place of knowing where you experience the joy of loving your ‘self’-24/7.

thpeg

Are you a leader or a follower? Are you imagining yourself as being the square peg who doesn’t fit into anybody’s round hole? If you are feeling the pangs of being ‘different’ than the rest, I salute you! Why? Because you’re on the right path that is yours and yours alone. You see the truth is that it’s really okay to be “You.”

I remember reading Bishop T.D. Jake’s “Woman Thou Art Loose!” for the first time and how his words resonated with me. He talked about God putting something special in  a woman who is uniquely you (and me) and I had one of those ‘a-ha’ Oprah moments. Finally, I began to realize why I felt apart from the clique in nursing school or why I couldn’t in good faith play follow the leader with my entrepreneur career choices.

By opting to do my own thing, I caught much flak and lost a few friendships along the way, but I’ve never been happier with choices I made that were for me by me. Have I made mistakes? Of course, but mistakes are only stepping stones to getting it right, the second or third time around:)

Don’t be intimidated by your differences. Embrace your unique self and sail on. Do you and don’t give it a second thought when you upset other people idea of who you should be. My Monday message to women who might feel like an outcast or outsider is this: You weren’t created to run with the pack. God created you to stand out from all the rest.

th peg peepStep away from the shadows that hold you hostage and embrace your unique ‘Self.” Stop trying to fit your greatness into another person’s limiting perception of who you should be.

The great fighter and former heavyweight champion of the world, Muhammad Ali would enter the ring and give interviews touting his battle cry “I am the greatest!.”

Visionary women, you are brave, beautiful, different and you are the greatest. Rock on!

Always remember to treat yourself special because you are…

Fear: The Great Saboteur

16 Mar

Happy Monday, warrior women! It’s such a beautiful day. I hope everyone is feeling the bliss:) Today I want to raise a question. With a show of hands, how many of you have allowed fear to block your blessings? My hand is raised and I’m not the only one, thank you very much:)

According to a  recent survey, a whopping 93.7% of us have practiced or are practicing self-sabotage in our lives,due in part, to fear that occurs in more than one area of our lives. Now, doesn’t that statistic blow your mind!?!

thfears storyNow that we have the facts about fear, we have to face the fallacy head on.  It’s not enough to know that we’re not alone. I mean, Oprah even admitted to having fear! Fear is a personal thing that doesn’t discriminate. Once we admit that we have fear, we have to make the decision to overcome it each and every time it rears its imaginary head.

Sometimes we build stuff up in our minds. You know, we tell ourselves the stories that will cripple and prevent us from moving ahead in our lives and even cause us to make a situation more dire than it is. It could be anything from refusing to date that hot fellow whose been asking you out for fear of rejection, to stopping just short of knocking at your employer’s office, to demand that raise you know you deserve ( well, maybe not demand, but, do lean in) because you just know you’re going to get laughed out of the office.

We can overcome fear. I know because I recently faced fear head on (definitely not the first time) and had the best time on a blog-talk radio interview recently, when a colleague and I took to the airwaves to promote our relationship book. The host was personable, professional and real. His pleasant aura immediately put our fears to rest and made the experience enjoyable for all involved.

Attempting something for the first time can give you cause for hitting the rewind button, but, don’t allow yourself to sabotage yourself when your blessings are calling.

overcoming fearFear is such a baseless distraction! I mean, what’s the most that can happen? Either you get the job or you don’t. You either win the race, the guy, the girl, the contest, the competition or you don’t.When something serious affects our lives and we become afraid. We should not allow fear to simmer and distort the outcome. Only God has the answers to those things we cannot change. In such instances, stay strong in your faith, seek the comfort of friends and loved ones and continue to pray.

People have many fears. Life is too short and it’s time we just walked right into the belly of the beast and claim our victory! Are you with me? Good, I knew you would be. I’m going to be taking the remainder of March off and I’m hoping to see all of you commenting on how you overcome your fears, in my absence.

Peace, blessing and remember to always treat yourself special.

thfear not

13 Women Of Authentic Influence

10 Mar

Happy Women’s History Month, women of influence!

Women are nurturers and have been soothing life’s pains and ills for centuries. When mothers welcome their children into the world, their only concerns are for the needs of their children. In honor of Women History Month, I’d like to pay homage to the women influencers who impacted my world and led me to make me better by making better life choices, including keeping a positive outlook on life, speaking out against injustice, encouraging the voice in others, listening to the concerns of our children, welcoming the wisdom of the elders and staying true to the woman I have become.

Here are my 13 picks for authentic women of influence who impacted my life choices.

My mom- bless the heart of my mother who would have tuned 87 years old this month in March, had she not transitioned in 2001.  Mama taught me morals, values, compassion for others and took me to church where I learned the spiritual foundation of one God who gave his son so that I could have life. Because of my mama’s dedication to church and God, I live a spiritually grounded life.

Jacqueline Eubanks- my best friend and mentor for well over 20 years. Before I even accepted that my love & passion was in my work as writer and advocate, my creative gifts were recognized and encouraged by this woman of wisdom and influence. She used her own money to purchase literary books for me to read and encouraged me to live my dreams…

thmaya angelou  Maya Angelou’s, “I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings”, lit a fire in the bosoms of a then 18 year old naive country girl and made it alright for her to speak her truths.

 

 

thangela Angela Davis allowed me the freedom to be proud of the black skin I am in. I was the only girl in my high school class in the 70s to wear an afro on graduation day. I was saying it loud and very proud!

 

thhelen gurley brownHelen Gurley Brown made it okay for young women to talk about sex without thinking God was going to strike them down. I wasn’t having much sex, but the thought was constantly on my mind:)

 

thnikkigLord, I was feeling so down after hearing news reports about the cases of unsolved murders of little black boys in Atlanta. When I read “Those Riding The Night Winds”, I knew this sistah’s compassion mirrored my own. And her love for the genius of Tupac Shakur doesn’t go unnoticed.

 

thgwendolynMs. Brooks was special guest at a poetry slam I attended in the city. I tentatively gave her a copy of my one and only book of poems that night and hurried back to my seat. I wondered if she’d even bother to read them. Weeks later, I received a small card in the mail. A thank you card from Gwendolyn Brooks assuring me that she recognized the positives in my work and advised me to “keep-a-going!”

 

thgloria steinemI didn’t really understand what a feminist was, until I heard Gloria Steinem speak! Women are not subservient , docile creatures that walk ten paces behind their men. We have something to contribute to society and that something matters!

 

thlorraine hansberryShe had an interesting, although short life where she smoked and drank and wrote historical plays, including the historical, “ A Raisin In The Sun.”  Inspired by brilliance, My attempt to write a one-act play got a rejection from a Louisville Theater, along with an invite to submit again the following year.

 

thmoms mableyMy older brothers would steal “raunchy” albums from our parents room and listen to them in their absence. I was younger and no threat to my siblings secrets, so I listened too. This woman with the raspy brand/voice of humor, made laughter a necessary component to ease life’s struggles. (sort of akin to BLUES music) It was ratchet stuff, but I loved me some Moms Mabley.  I learned later in life about the savvy business woman behind the stage name and Moms persona.

 

thwinnieWow, to be an activist for your people. To stand up against a country built on the foundation that was known as Apartheid. I was so impressed by how this woman stood beside her husband, Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned because of his fight against white supremacy in his native land. Winnie Mandela helped to change a nation and that takes courage.

 

th cicely tysonThere’s no one like Cicely Tyson. She’s a real actress, whose roles in film and television reflects a caring and compassionate woman who stands for freedom and the rights of all people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thpage Geraldine Page in “ The Trip To Bountiful” reflects the realism of women on the journey to finding their “ish”..that awesome and unforgettable something that came from soil of their soil and, that oftentimes cause them to want to recapture that place in time.

 

 

After 4 decades of living life. I’ve learned from so many wonderful folks in the world, men and women. I’ve not personally met any of them, save for Ms. Brooks, but I’ve learned from them and taken nuggets of wisdom from their life experiences, for the betterment of my own.  If there’s a woman or women you’d like to honor for Women’s History Month, please feel free to share.

Remember your greatness and always treat yourself special.

Listen To Our Author’s Interview On BlogTalk Radio

3 Mar

“The secret to success is not in pursuing large goals. It is in pursuing the small ones which lead to the larger ones.”

http://player.cinchcast.com/?platformId=1&assetType=single&assetId=7401121

Check Out Culture Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with DuB WyZe TaLk on BlogTalkRadio

Good Morning, warrior women! Well, I failed to speak inspirational messages to you all as usual on Monday, because I spent the better half of the day prepping for a guest appearance on Dub WyZe TaLk, which airs nightly on blog-talk radio. My friend and colleague, Evelyn Cogdell and I were invited on the show by Judah Stallworth, owner and host of Dub WyZe TaLk, to talk about our latest collaboration, “The Essence of Romance.”

This latest book from Evelyn is a must have dating/relationship guide for couples and singles looking to form a meaningful, trusting and loving relationship with their significant other- by bypassing red flags and the usual angst’s that comes with relationship hookups and breakups.

Between the two of us, Evelyn and I have taken our relationship wisdom that comes from living and learning from life experiences, along with researched data and statistical findings from sex therapists, celebrity relationship experts and wise things our mothers told us, to produce a great source of inspiration, education and food for thought for everyone in the dating age demographic. 

ESSENCE surpasses race, religion and cultural differences, as it examines the pros and cons of relationships. In other words, this book is the real deal and I hope that all of you grab a copy in support of its success :)

The above quote on success felt right for me to share with all of you. I define success in my personal and professional life by each small step that I take on my mission to serve and I feel this book will find success. When Evelyn Cogdell asked if I would collaborate with her on her latest book, I said yes, because I know she felt called to share her truths that could possibly help or heal another person.

If you are passionate and compassionate about your purpose, your personal gratification in the form of achievement will come with each small step you take in the right direction!

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy of Essence of Romance, purchase information is shared by the author on the interview. Peace and blessing. And remember to always treat yourself special.

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