Women Motivation

The Man Debate…

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Image by rebeccaseung via Flickr

Authentic Woman is well, basically for women. I’ve decided to devote today’s post to both sexes which I’d like to think will be a fun post. One which will start a conversation and spark lively debate about the hot topic of “men” and ” expectations” from both sides of the fence in regards to dating/relationships and commitment to those taking up space in our lives…

Men, if you’re reading this and I’m not totally against you doing so in the interest of learning a few things about what women want, need and expect; that’s a good thing!

Recently, conversation evolved when a longtime friend and I went out to celebrate our birthdays… Good times sparked great conversation and opposing opinions which I felt deserved a bit of input from my readers. Keep in mind there won’t be full disclosure of the conversation-women & privacy stuff, however it went down something like this:

Fr: I think if you’re not really in a relationship with a man, but, dating and having fun, you shouldn’t really expect him to give you anything, or basically bring something, other than himself to the table…

Aw: So you’re willing to give of youself/your time and your attentions & possibly affections to a man and NOT have any expectations, other than having a good time?

Fr: When 2 people know why they’re together and that it’s not going to become serious, then I don’t expect any sort of favors, or anything other than being together, until it’s over.

Aw: Men, in my opinion, will not step to me without bringing something to the table. Be that good conversation. Great date nights, or singing for his supper… It doesn’t have to be on a monetary basis, either, but, if a guy sees that I need help in any shape, form, or fashion, he needs to be proactive and step up to the plate.

Fr: You’re hard on your men…

Aw: No, I’m just not settling… Men need to be needed. If you’re constantly giving and never receiving, you’re going to deprive them of their CHIVALROUS nature! 

Okay, readers, that conversation will undoubtly cause a stir among men and their women. Hopefully, you’ll have fun with it and keep chivalry alive!   

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4 thoughts on “The Man Debate…”

  1. Men can be takers, for sure. I was stuck in one of those relationships. I’m at a point where a man will have to prove himself to earn even a bit of attention from me. Sure, he can do it with conversation, acts of kindness, showing what kind of a man he is. And, never, ever feeling like I have to change myself or compromise my values to be with him.

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    1. Good Morning, Mary
      Thanks for your response. I agree with what you’re saying. But, I also think women set the tone for how they want to be treated. If a guy see that she’s fine with little effort on his part, then, he’ll continue in that mode in the relationship…Lots of women complain about how their men are treating them, but fail to do anything about it! but, then, many women are ok with just being in any relationship 😦 My question? Why allow for the ill treatment!

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  2. Clara, I had a very strong reaction to your friend’s thoughts, and I agree that we need to set the tone. If we have failed in the past, we always have another chance to do this, and must try. It’s also good for our children to see us standing up for ourselves, for insisting on respect. I believe that the relationship of a woman and man should be complementary. They each have distinct roles that befit their natures. Men are, in general, the main providers and protectors of their families. Women can also help provide and protect, but are primarily the nurturing force within their families. Either way, your friend’s approach is one that sets her up to be broken and used in the end. She is giving way too much at her own expense. I don’t believe in male-female relationships that don’t involve some kind of commitment. Because we are women and see things in their totality, if we cannot expect more from the men in our lives, we will get hurt. It’s up to us to ask for what we need, and give in return, and realize that men and woman are not completely equal, except in dignity. They are complementary to one another when things are going as they should be.

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    1. Roxane, first off thanks for your honest & inspiring insights. As this post encourages thoughtful debate. My friend and I hashed out, weighed in on, and in some instances conceded to the thoughts of how both sexes approach the dating/relationship scenario…

      In my friend’s defense, a gfted woman of intellect, I think her focus was mainly upon initial expectations of both parties…Should women go into relationship living the moment, well aware that it is what it is as opposed to expecting the man to step up & be present?

      It remains food for thought & opens the door for self evaluation & change…

      Lively debate for sure, eh!

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