Hello warrior women! I know Monday just got away from me, but I wanted to talk to women who are going through or contemplating divorce. I know how painful a transition this can be, but rest assured, you will survive.
Divorce sucks life transitions suck. Going through change of any sort can become a fear based area of grey clouds filling your days with storms of pain and confusion. But, you must stay prayed up and focused on swimming against the currents of stormy weather, in order to stand on solid ground that will offer you a place of comfort and new beginnings.
If you’re going through a divorce or contemplating a divorce, allow yourself to feel the pain of separation, but don’t wallow in self-pity and self blame. You are good enough. There’s nothing you can do to change or coerce him into staying when he obviously wants to leave and why would you settle? If you are a single mother and working woman, consider the confusion your child is going through and sit down with your soon to be ex to hammer our a solution to making this separation for your child less traumatic as possible.
Children do worry and sometimes even blame themselves for their grownup parent’s behavior. It’s important to form a united front and assure your child that your divorce is in no way because of him/her/them. Going from married working mom to single working mom is a hurdle that you can manage alone. You have to take care of yourself and your internal emotions. Don’t wallow in self depreciating pity! Take the bull by the horns and face the music of your pain from losing your spouse, but place your emotions into keeping your child/children safe and protected: good daycare, good schools, and with people you trust while you continue to work and provide for the most important person in your life your child. If you have to take a few personal days off from work to set forth a routine to make sure your children is taken care of and provide you piece of mind while you’re away, then do that.
The most important thing you can do for yourself and for your children is to never place blame. Blaming someone for not being the person you needed them to be only adds to the misery of letting go. When you’ve done all you can to try to save your marriage due to love or obligation or young children needing both parents in the household and your husband still wants out? Let him go.
Keep your heart opened because time heals all wounds and where today you’re experiencing heartbreak; somewhere in the near future of your tomorrow, you will be the happiest woman to walk the face of God’s green earth, and you will be living the best life you’ve ever lived with a man truly deserving of all of you as you are of him.
For strength, purpose and peace read:
Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life by Debbie Ford
Goodnight, sleep peacefully and tight…