Category: From the experts

Motivational messages from award winning experts in the field of self development

Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices Is Finally Here!

Good Monday Morning, women of purpose! I’ve been busy this last week, sending out signed copies of my new empowerment book for women. Yes, people, after a long year in waiting, Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices is finally released. Yay! I’m on great grandma duties as well, while trying to get this post out. It’s a feat that truly takes a bit of creative maneuvering because right now the child, who is fighting a cold, has toppled her toy box, refused to eat her breakfast and requests Apple Juice instead of Orange because OJ hurts her three year old tummy. “Gram Gram, I said no!” Bear with me as I’m also trying to work out the kinks for online purchases, but if you’d like a personal signed copy in time for Women’s History Month? Use the convenient contact form or email me for details.

16864732_1811490049068448_5434373568282161503_n We’re off to such a great start, however, thanks in part to the support of my Lil sister,Connie Faye Miller, who sent out an SOS on fb and received such wonderful and loving support from her tribe of followers; including church peeps, sistah friends and even folks from our hometown. I see you Florine 🙂 I’ve just had a batch sent out this morning and I thank everyone for their interest and support. My one wish is that women and the men who love and support them, will read Unleash Your Pearls and receive from its pages a bit of encouragement, inspiration and motivation that allows them to unleash their pearls!

There is a story behind the title of the book that was my original intent to share with y’all, but because I’m led to write from the heart today, I will leave that particular book spoiler ( I relate the story in the book) for another monthly post. But, hopefully, y’all will have secured your copy just in time for Women’s History Month and read the story for yourself:) Send purchase inquiries to unleashyourpearls@yahoo.com or clarawriter@att.net

More perks from the pages of Unleash Your Pearl Empowering Women’s Voices:

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“Gram-Gram I’m hungry!”

“Coming!”

Remember to always treat yourself special.

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“From The Experts,” Special Guest Monica Carter Tagore

Happy November, women warriors! I know you all know the importance of story. I know you get that we have a story inside of us that could possibly help to heal another or change a life. Perhaps, it’s the fear of the unknown or a  fear of suddenly becoming known that is holding you back? My special guest today is an advocate for story. Monica Carter Tagore has authored or ghostwritten more than 45 books and she’s on a mission to help you become the author to your story. Please welcome Monica Carter Tagore to Authentic Woman.

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Why your story deserves to be told

Monica Carter Tagore

It’s natural to want to pretend life has always been good.

But this pretense could be robbing you of your greatest service. You see, when you strip back the facade and let your authentic self show up, the story you share just may be the help and hope someone else needs. It may be what they have been searching or praying for.

I have been working for many years to help people find the lessons, blessings, messages, and big ideas in their stories, and to tell them in books. My work has taken on even more urgency this year, as I am now on a breast cancer healing journey. You see, as I looked at my own story, I knew I did not want to hold it tight and away from others. I wanted to share it, so any who desired, could learn or gain from it in some way.

I wrote an inspirational book as I was recovering from chemo and awaiting my mastectomy. That book, the soon-to-be-released Stronger: 31 Inspirational Messages to Get You Through That Tough Time, shares encouragement so readers see a way to keep striving, even in the face of adversity. This book came from my story, as I found inspirational messages so important.

But I am not unique. Each of us has a story, and within that story are lessons, blessings, and messages. For people who are able to see the lessons of their lives, then they have an opportunity — some might even say obligation — to share those lessons.

What you have been through, what you have endured, what you had to learn the hard way matters. You matter. And somebody needs to hear from you so they can get the inspiration, insight, and information they need to keep moving forward. You hold that within your story.

Now, it will take a touch of bravery to do this. After all, sharing your lessons means being willing to share your folly. Your mistakes. Your bad decisions.

Not everybody wants to do that. But if you are willing to share with others the times when your life wasn’t as good as it is now, then it’s time to tell your story. Your story deserves to be told so others can gain knowledge, inspiration, and insight from it.

So how do you do that?

  1. Write a book. Writing a book is a wonderful way to be able to make your experiences count. While there may have been other books written about your topic, none has been written on your experience and with your perspective. In other words, your book hasn’t been written. How you present your experiences and what you learned may be what reaches someone. You may do it in such a way as to shed new light on a subject or connect with your reader in a way others who have written on your topic have not been able to do. There may be people you can reach with your story who may not be able to be reached or helped by anyone else. If you don’t share your story, they may not get the help they need.
  2. Speaking on your topic may be another way to share your story and touch lives. Speaking may be an intimidating activity, but don’t let the intimidation factor hold you back. Speaking can happen in several ways — from the stage, but also via podcasts, videos, webinars, etc. Choose the format that works for you and the message you want to share.
  3. Take to social media. Social media is an amazing use of technology that allows us to connect with others and touch lives all over the planet. Rather than simply sharing insignificant nothings via your social media accounts, maybe it’s time to share your story in updates. You don’t have to make the updates all about you. But you can share updates about statistics related to your experience, and share your insight on what these stats mean. You can share inspirational messages to encourage others dealing with the topic of your experience. You can share tips and strategies for facing the issue you are speaking about on social media.
  4. Starting a blog about your topic may be where your heart leads you. Your experience in dealing with the issue you discuss on the blog is your credibility. You are an expert because you dealt with this issue and overcame it or somehow got to a better point regarding it. Your blog can be a place where you share your story and share insight, coping strategies, and inspiration related to what you cover.

Nobody has to give you permission to share your story. You don’t have to be a celebrity. You don’t have to be wealthy in monetary terms. You don’t have to know everything there is to know about your topic. You are enough, just as you are. You have lived it. Now tell it. Someone else needs to hear it.

 

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Monica Carter Tagore inspires and empowers people to see their true value. She does this in several ways, including the Chase Your Star newsletter and providing mentoring to help people tell their stories in book format. Get her free recording, “How to tell your story — and get noticed,” when you sign up for the Chase Your Star newsletter at http://monicacartertagore.com/newsletter

 

Facebook.com/monicacartertagoreauthor

Twitter @monicatagore

Instagram @monicacartertagore

 

Thanks to Monica for sharing parts of her own inspirational story with us! If you are holding your story hostage,  consider the importance of telling your story and be that rainbow. Will see y’all back here in December:)

 

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PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE ~ by Pauline Haynes

“Use your influence to help others”

Good morning, women of purpose! I’m happy to reconnect with all of your amazing voices. I appreciate, honor and heart you all! Today, I bring you an empowering, authentic and trans-formative message from one of the most influential life coaches in the universe. Please welcome back to Authentic Woman, my authentic camaraderie in arms, Ms. Pauline Haynes!

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PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE

Every one of us is unique and totally irreplaceable. We have all had connections with people, places, things, and experiences. No matter how much we try, each individual has his or her own take on the story or stories, even if two people were present at the same occasion/occurrence.

 

The word authenticity has been so seemingly over-used, but it is a beautiful word that aptly describes who we are. It helps to differentiate you from me and vice versa.

Or, as in “I am the Walrus,” the popular Beatles song

 

“I am he as you are he as you are me

And we are all together.”

 

We are together, and we are different. Singular. Unique. One of a kind gem. No two alike. Our claim to authenticity!

 

As I celebrate a birthday, embarking on another chapter of my life, I am flooded with memories. Some clear, some lacking in details, while others flow like a montage of unconnected experiences in my life.

 

Certainly I am more than pleased to be at the ripe age of maturity (some would say old). In fact it wasn’t so long ago that I thought of this age (my age) as old. Old is a state of mind, a way of being. My chronological age is keeping tabs on my psychological, mental, physical and emotional age, and the winner is a draw, depending on the day.

 

That is why I have to dig deeper to find, honor, respect and appreciate the essence of this woman. This authentic being – me!

 

There is such a rush as I write those words. It makes me humble to be alive. Right here, right now. Yes. I have stories to tell!

 

I may share some of the memories, but this is not strictly meandering down memory lane. There are some memories I still prefer to keep to myself (and will). If you’ve lived as long as I have, you better have some experiences you want to keep”mum.”

 

What surfaces as I consider my life, is not the details of my teenage and young adulthood, but the occurrences on a worldwide scale and its impact on us right now.

 

My personal life does not have worldwide interest or impact. I  have no claim to fame. Sharing some of my personal experiences have  (in tiny ways) touched some, and maybe as you read this, you also may feel or experience some slight impact.

 

One does not have to be speaking before an audience, or command the ears/attention of millions to have impact. Presence is enough. Integrity and intentionality. The impact is what you choose to do with that presence.

 

I have developed a certain grace and humility, even though that can also exhibit anger and outrage (depending on the circumstances). The humility allows me to connect to my breath, which allows me to connect to my body, which connects me to my thoughts, my surroundings, my behavior;  and so the ripple continues. The connection of me to the earth, to you and on and on.

 

When I am in my presence, and I am aware, I can have an impact. I speak differently. I hear differently. I respond differently. I behave differently. I am in reverence of all that is alive, true, perfect and sacred. I respect me more and I respect you more.

 

I honor life! I am authentic.

 

There are some “firsts” for me that are memorable in a nostalgic way, while others are purely sentimental. Neither is good or bad. They simply are.

 

In bringing two children into this world, they are both firsts. My first-born was a boy, and my second born was a girl. The first. The only. They are memorable and nostalgic all rolled into a bundle of everlasting love.

 

Seeing the birth of my first grand child was overwhelming, exciting, magnificent and awe-inspiring. Giving birth is not the same as seeing a birth.

 

I remember the first time I was kissed by a boy, It was uneventful, and I’m not sure why I remember it. The memory is vague, but present.

 

I remember the first time I set foot in England. It was cold, dreary, foggy, and it was a new experience, coupled with the old. I was reunited with my mother. I also remember the first time I arrived in San Francisco. It reminded me of the TV series “The Streets of San Francisco.” I was awed by how large everything was. The Golden Gate bridge was luminous through the fog, and it made me smile.

 

I could go on for a while, but these are my memories, and I appreciate your indulgence.

 

We are currently embroiled in political bantering, narcissism, grandstanding, holier-than-thou-ism, deplorable and despicable words and behavior ism. Lies and half-truths, and more lies. This is a part of the present as the two-party system pits Hilary Rodham Clinton (D) and Donald John Trump (R) against each other. They vie for the hearts, votes and respect of the American people – to become the next president of the United States.

 

The shenanigans are not pretty.

 

This time in politics, is following on the historical footsteps of the creation of these United States. The true colors of hatred and dissent are more visible and pronounced than the caring and concern that individuals who gave their lives in the Civil Rights movement fought for. This country came about through some unsavory actions.

 

The turning backwards is giving us the opportunity to examine our souls and our intentions. Perhaps it’s even allowing us to get to know the real history of this country and its people.

 

Singularly, authentically and collectively – serious examination is called for.

 

Barak Husain Obama has been the first elected black president of the United States, and his eight-year tenure has not been an easy one. President Obama and first lady Michele Obama have governed with dignity, grace under fire, and have endured the insults, slurs, disrespect and  every imaginable obstacle that has been thrown their way. They have certainly not done everything right.

 

As two people with their hearts rooted in our African culture, they have not only survived, they are thriving! I share Langston Hughes’ “Lament for Dark Peoples” which gives a little perspective on the foregoing. It is as pertinent now, as when it was penned by Mr Hughes years ago:

 

I was a red man one time,

But the white men came.

I was a black man, too,

But the white men came.

They drove me out of the forest.

They took me away from the jungles.

I lost my trees.

I lost my silver moons.

Now they’ve caged me

In the circus of civilization.

Now I herd with the many —

Caged in the circus of civilization.

 

My hope is that the Peoples of every culture, every nation will have a life that is worthy of our history, or sacrifices, our dignity, our caring. Our unique strengths and weaknesses have meaning and make a difference when we think and behave collectively. It is the only thing that will save our humanity.

 

www.paulinehaynes.net

(916) 452-5278

info@paulinehaynes.net

http://twitter.com/coachpauline

https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulinehaynes?

https://www.facebook.com/ShiftHappensPaulineHaynes

 

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Don’t Let Others Take Your Kindness For Weakness

picture-452 pond Happy Monday, women of truth! But, wait, did y’all happen to notice how warm today is? Know what that means, right? Yep, time to escape the busyness of life and make those vacay or family reunion plans. This picture is one taken of a prior family gathering where we tackled cabin living. Now, there’s a challenge for even this country girl. I enjoyed the trees, trails, water, fish and the long fishing dock extending over the lake. Experiencing the ambiance of Mother Nature close up and personal is awesome. Just not so much when the little uninvited creatures and neighbors of the woods want to come over to introduce themselves:)

My message today is about having compassion and kindness for others; your fellow-man woman and child. It’s also about being of service without feeling taken advantage of. I want people reading this post to come away armed with the  knowledge that you can be kind and show compassion and empathy for others, but you should never allow anyone to take your kindness for weakness! In the words of Tupac Shakur; “You feel me?”…

(Aside) Sista Afeni Shakur, have got to be spitting out lyrical messages of love and light, accompanied by the hip hop rapper that is Tupac Shakur, her only son~ the two of them grooving together somewhere in the heavens. May they rest in peace.

Don’t Let Others Take Your Compassion And Kindness For Weakness

Okay, so, How you living? Are you being kind to others? Are you a compassionate person? Contrary to popular belief, kindness and compassion for your fellow-man/woman doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you allow others to use your kindness and generosity to their advantage. If you feel that you’re being used because of who you are or what you know and what you’ve been called to do, you must step up and nix that user’s preconceived notion in the bud! Let folks know you are not going to tolerate their callous expectations. Whoever your offenders are and they could be siblings, your children,  mom, dad or even your significant others; you have to stop the madness by letting them know you’re not the one!

Self–preservation is one of the rules of life. And there will come a time where your kindness in the service of others will leave you feeling overwhelmed and depleted, whether financially, physically, socially or emotionally. When you recognize that folks have made your kindness their agenda for their own advancement, it’s your cue to cut the ties that bind.

When I think of compassion, I think of my mother. She had such a kindness about her when it came to making others feel welcome and important. This need to make things better for another person and somehow set things right by doing what she could to put them at ease and not feel different or less than, understandably, endeared me to my mom.. My mother offered compassion and kindness without expectation. This was an empowering and mirrored reflection in the eyes of a child. My mother’s compassion remains one of the biggest influences from my childhood observations. In our compassion for others, we know “There but for the grace of God…

I believe that a child’s compassion for humanity is taught through observation. I saw how my mother treated elderly folks-the respect and offering she held for a homeless man whom she took in, cooked for and feed at her table.

With compassion comes an inner knowing that all people are special in the eyes of God and no one should be treated unfairly, just because they’re different in gender, age, color or religious beliefs. It is not for us to judge. I am driven by my beliefs that involves caring for the rights of others. I thank my parents for raising my sibling and me with a foundation built on faith, equality, morals, values, humility, respect and compassion.

Now, there have been times in my life where others have taken my kindness for weakness and have taken advantage of my soul services. That is why I’m so fortunate to have people in my corner to remind me that saying “no” sometimes will keep me strong, focused and perceptive in my sowing seeds in the service of others. Compassion can be exhausting when you’re being taken advantage of.  And no one wants to feel used. Make sure you use your gift for those who truly deserves and need it.

Always treat yourself special.

If you feel the call to share with us at Authentic Woman, please do. There is healing in the sharing…

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It’s Okay To Mourn

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Nature Heals

Good Morning, women of purpose!…Immersing myself in the healing powers of Mother Nature always guide me through my suffering.

I captured the blue skies in this picture at the turn of an early spring morning and felt its ethereal essence. I captioned it Nature Heals. I ‘m in no way a photographer, just a nature lover:) This picture helps me focus on the beauty among the ashes.

It’s okay to mourn. There is healing in your mourning. There is recovery in your grief” CF

You don’t have to know someone personally to mourn their passing. Compassion and empathy for another human being are ethereal qualities that come with being human and being a part of this wide spectrum called ‘humanity.’ With the passing of Prince Rogers Nelson on Thursday, I became part of the world who grieved his transition. I, like all of you, felt an overwhelming and consistent sorrow. I felt a void beyond tears and the grief held me captive, to the point that I pushed back the expected post at Clara’s writer’s blog.

The timing wasn’t right and I felt an odd sense of allegiance to the memory of Prince. I also didn’t want to be that callous person who would not take time out to pen condolences to the fallen musician, who had become a household name in the industry of music… and to his fans. Also, I didn’t want to short change my expert and special guest at the blog for that day, by mindlessly posting our beautiful interview.

On the days that belonged to the memory of Prince, I didn’t answer the phone or engage in conversation. I watched many newscasts and testimonials about his life, until I couldn’t bear to watch any longer. While the world went purple in respect and honor of the man, his music, his penchant for fashion and his overall genius, self taught and could play 27 instruments by the age of 12, my thoughts turned to all the other musical visionaries whose passing still leaves a void.

When Michael Jackson died, I was asked to pen a tribute by the editor of The Chicago Bulletin Newspaper. I was reluctant to do so because Michael’s death caused the darkness that was my grief to rain down to such an extent that my voice was mute and “I had no words.” In my tribute to MJ’s memory, I began by writing~ “I have no words.”

The unexpected loss of Whitney Houston caused the editor of a London magazine to add a footnote to an article I’d penned about Whitney, likening her comeback from a troubled drug addicted path to the rise of the phoenix.  The world was pulling for Whitney and later, for the survival of Whitney’s grieving and troubled young daughter, Bobbie Christina.

Musical visionaries like Prince, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, David Bowie and countless others; all gone too soon. The world will mourn their passing and keep their memories alive via their music, telling their stories and recounting fond accounts of~ “remembering the times.”

There are unknowable things that occur in the world that we have no control over. And when someone dies or suffer horrible and irreparable physical damage, we feel deeply. We are spiritual being living a human existence and so, every time a person dies, be it family, friends or celebrity, we are forced to come face to face with our own mortality. And so, with the death of one of my favorite musical entertainers, standing right alongside Michael Jackson, the “King Of Pop,” I join all who mourn; “Gone too soon.”

Prince’s passion, dedication and love for the music teaches me to stay my course and not be swayed by other folks opinion in the creation of my art. Prince Roger Nelson didn’t try to be anything, to anybody, but himself.  This was a man who remained true to his creativity that fueled his outstanding body of musical works. The man loved his music, loved penning songs for himself and for others; all while living life on his own terms.

GLORY!

Always treat yourself special and live your life doing and being the one and only you!

Do You Know Your Why?

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Beginnings

Good Morning, women of faith and beauty! I hope you’ve been enjoying your spring, as much as I have. This photo is the view outside my window when I wake up in the mornings. Imagine what the trees look like blanketed by snow or shaken by gigantic winds. I have captured a few of those photos with my cellphone to share with my growing audience. Keep in mind, I’m no photographer, just a nature lover. I’m so happy to be in such close proximity to the awesomeness of Mother Nature again. This beautiful space allows for the tranquil moments I seek during unsettling times when a world is fraught with chaos and troubles. In this place, I find an inner peace, strength and resilience. I can relax, rejuvenate and create every morning, noon and night.

On this beautiful Monday morning, I have a song on my lips and gratitude in my heart and I’m thankful and humbled by how far I’ve come as I accept and embrace the ‘Why’ of my existence. My parents used to joke that I came into the world, “screaming & hollering”, in fact, my sibling used to think that description of my birth was hilarious! Little did we know that I would come into the world, “Protesting”. We’re taught at an early age that Jesus came to save souls. At the age of eleven, I knew that I was somehow born to serve those who walked unaware; those who remain silent in the uprisings; those who take life as it comes and doesn’t want to challenge the world’s apple cart of injustice, human beings civil rights, women rights, internet trolls, racist and haters. I believe in my why.

For the last 5 decades, I’ve made it’s been my mission to empower the voice of women, children and the elderly. These are the voices, I feel, that have gone unheard for too long. Little children of abuse and neglect depend upon adult authority figures for their protection, and often are told to speak when spoken to, if at all. Many women guard their tongues and are afraid to speak their truths, for fear of backlash or personal consequence. The wisdom of our elderly, oftentimes goes unrecognized, ignored and taken for granted. My goal is to keep these “underdogs” in the forefront of change.

Do you know the reason for your existing? Do you know your why? Don’t stress if you haven’t awakened to your truths. Trust and believe, purpose will reveal itself during the time of your “Becoming.”

A bit of news on Unleash Your Pearls~ Empowering Women Voices. Unfortunately, I haven’t been given a release date as of yet, but the good news from my publisher is that I will have the book’s cover to share with all of you very soon!

 

“This book was written for all of the “underdogs”, who, for whatever reason are not allowed the opportunity to speak from a place of authentic truth. It is for women, who don’t know that their voices matter. This book champions all women to unleash your pearls.”

Unleash Your Pearls~Empowering Women Voices, 2016. Pending release date

 

 

Springtime Messages To Alienate Distractors and Keep You Focused And Inspired

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Happy Spring, women of valor!

Have you every gotten carried away with a project and you look up and it’s “getting late over in the evening and the sun is going down?”  Well, this is what happened on Monday and I was so tired that I just took my body burdens to bed…

A few months ago, I shared how an internet troll tried to engage me in heated conversation by calling me demeaning names and attempting to attack my character. My initial reaction was shock, of course, being that I’m such a fair-minded individual. And when I tried to speak on the matter in question with a sound opinion, the hater, stuck to his hater induced rants. I’m sure he didn’t expect “Crickets”, but that’s exactly the end result he deserved~ absolute silence! When you know who you are, whose you are and why you are, “ain’t nobody got time for that.”:)

Today, I want to share a few springtime messages to alienate distractors and keep you focused and inspired on your purpose journey:

  1. Wake up smiling and keep a positive mindset
  2.  Have a grateful heart
  3. Shine a spotlight on the accomplishment of others
  4. Be kind to strangers
  5. Think before you speak~ in essence, don’t feed the trolls. Instead, let them hear “Crickets.” Trust and believe these folks need your voice to make them relevant!
  6. Have compassion and empathy for others
  7. Don’t be a validation seeker~your greatness will shine irregardless of what others in the world might think of you.
  8. Say no to what doesn’t feel right and yes to what does. Use your intuitive gifts
  9.  Continue to be a woman of faith and trust and believe with your true heart that your needs will be met
  10. Strive to live right and turn a negative into a positive.
  11. When you achieve something great, rejoice in your accomplishment, but don’t go getting the big head. Stay humbled by your blessing.
  12. Words are like bullets. They can hurt, cripple a dream and cause injury to another. Use your words wisely.
  13. Keep your eyes on the prize…

Sometimes we need to let go of the grind. I’ll be taking a Spring break with the kiddies after this week. Thanks to all of you for Authentic Woman’s ever-growing support base. I’m always happy to be of service.

Always treat yourself special.