Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices Is Finally Here!

Good Monday Morning, women of purpose! I’ve been busy this last week, sending out signed copies of my new empowerment book for women. Yes, people, after a long year in waiting, Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices is finally released. Yay! I’m on great grandma duties as well, while trying to get this post out. It’s a feat that truly takes a bit of creative maneuvering because right now the child, who is fighting a cold, has toppled her toy box, refused to eat her breakfast and requests apple instead of orange juice because OJ hurts her three year old tummy.

“Gram, Gram, I said no!” Bear with me people, as I try to juggle caregiving duties to this beautiful girl child, while attempting to work out the kinks for online purchases of my book. If any one would like a signed copy in real time, hit me up via my email or use the convenient contact form with your contact info attached.

16864732_1811490049068448_5434373568282161503_n We’re off to such a great start here, thanks in part to the support of my lil sister,Connie Faye Miller, who sent out an SOS on her fb page. She received such wonderful and loving support from her tribe of followers; including church peeps, sistah friends and even folks from our hometown. I see you Florine 🙂 I’ve just sent copies out this morning and I thank everyone for their interest and support. My one wish is that women and the men who love and support them, will read Unleash Your Pearls and receive from its pages a bit of encouragement, inspiration and motivation that allows them to unleash their pearls!

There is a story behind the title of the book that was my original intent to share with y’all, but because I’m led to write from the heart today, I will leave that particular book spoiler ( I relate the story in the book) for another monthly post. But, hopefully, y’all will have secured your copy or several copies to share, or gift to your sister friends!https://www.amazon.com/Clara-Freeman/e/B00GQC8IH8

I hope everyone looking to champion their voice and make a positive difference in their lives and the lives of other, empower their journey by reading this book. Feel free to share your thoughts with me via unleashyourpearls@yahoo.com or clarawriter@att.net. I value your voices:)

More perks from the pages of Unleash Your Pearl Empowering Women’s Voices:


“Gram-Gram I’m hungry!”


Remember to always treat yourself special.






“From The Experts,” Special Guest Monica Carter Tagore

Happy November, women warriors! I know you all know the importance of story. I know you get that we have a story inside of us that could possibly help to heal another or change a life. Perhaps, it’s the fear of the unknown or a  fear of suddenly becoming known that is holding you back? My special guest today is an advocate for story. Monica Carter Tagore has authored or ghostwritten more than 45 books and she’s on a mission to help you become the author to your story. Please welcome Monica Carter Tagore to Authentic Woman.


Why your story deserves to be told

Monica Carter Tagore

It’s natural to want to pretend life has always been good.

But this pretense could be robbing you of your greatest service. You see, when you strip back the facade and let your authentic self show up, the story you share just may be the help and hope someone else needs. It may be what they have been searching or praying for.

I have been working for many years to help people find the lessons, blessings, messages, and big ideas in their stories, and to tell them in books. My work has taken on even more urgency this year, as I am now on a breast cancer healing journey. You see, as I looked at my own story, I knew I did not want to hold it tight and away from others. I wanted to share it, so any who desired, could learn or gain from it in some way.

I wrote an inspirational book as I was recovering from chemo and awaiting my mastectomy. That book, the soon-to-be-released Stronger: 31 Inspirational Messages to Get You Through That Tough Time, shares encouragement so readers see a way to keep striving, even in the face of adversity. This book came from my story, as I found inspirational messages so important.

But I am not unique. Each of us has a story, and within that story are lessons, blessings, and messages. For people who are able to see the lessons of their lives, then they have an opportunity — some might even say obligation — to share those lessons.

What you have been through, what you have endured, what you had to learn the hard way matters. You matter. And somebody needs to hear from you so they can get the inspiration, insight, and information they need to keep moving forward. You hold that within your story.

Now, it will take a touch of bravery to do this. After all, sharing your lessons means being willing to share your folly. Your mistakes. Your bad decisions.

Not everybody wants to do that. But if you are willing to share with others the times when your life wasn’t as good as it is now, then it’s time to tell your story. Your story deserves to be told so others can gain knowledge, inspiration, and insight from it.

So how do you do that?

  1. Write a book. Writing a book is a wonderful way to be able to make your experiences count. While there may have been other books written about your topic, none has been written on your experience and with your perspective. In other words, your book hasn’t been written. How you present your experiences and what you learned may be what reaches someone. You may do it in such a way as to shed new light on a subject or connect with your reader in a way others who have written on your topic have not been able to do. There may be people you can reach with your story who may not be able to be reached or helped by anyone else. If you don’t share your story, they may not get the help they need.
  2. Speaking on your topic may be another way to share your story and touch lives. Speaking may be an intimidating activity, but don’t let the intimidation factor hold you back. Speaking can happen in several ways — from the stage, but also via podcasts, videos, webinars, etc. Choose the format that works for you and the message you want to share.
  3. Take to social media. Social media is an amazing use of technology that allows us to connect with others and touch lives all over the planet. Rather than simply sharing insignificant nothings via your social media accounts, maybe it’s time to share your story in updates. You don’t have to make the updates all about you. But you can share updates about statistics related to your experience, and share your insight on what these stats mean. You can share inspirational messages to encourage others dealing with the topic of your experience. You can share tips and strategies for facing the issue you are speaking about on social media.
  4. Starting a blog about your topic may be where your heart leads you. Your experience in dealing with the issue you discuss on the blog is your credibility. You are an expert because you dealt with this issue and overcame it or somehow got to a better point regarding it. Your blog can be a place where you share your story and share insight, coping strategies, and inspiration related to what you cover.

Nobody has to give you permission to share your story. You don’t have to be a celebrity. You don’t have to be wealthy in monetary terms. You don’t have to know everything there is to know about your topic. You are enough, just as you are. You have lived it. Now tell it. Someone else needs to hear it.



Monica Carter Tagore inspires and empowers people to see their true value. She does this in several ways, including the Chase Your Star newsletter and providing mentoring to help people tell their stories in book format. Get her free recording, “How to tell your story — and get noticed,” when you sign up for the Chase Your Star newsletter at http://monicacartertagore.com/newsletter



Twitter @monicatagore

Instagram @monicacartertagore


Thanks to Monica for sharing parts of her own inspirational story with us! If you are holding your story hostage,  consider the importance of telling your story and be that rainbow. Will see y’all back here in December:)




PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE ~ by Pauline Haynes

“Use your influence to help others”

Good morning, women of purpose! I’m happy to reconnect with all of your amazing voices. I appreciate, honor and heart you all! Today, I bring you an empowering, authentic and trans-formative message from one of the most influential life coaches in the universe. Please welcome back to Authentic Woman, my authentic camaraderie in arms, Ms. Pauline Haynes!



Every one of us is unique and totally irreplaceable. We have all had connections with people, places, things, and experiences. No matter how much we try, each individual has his or her own take on the story or stories, even if two people were present at the same occasion/occurrence.


The word authenticity has been so seemingly over-used, but it is a beautiful word that aptly describes who we are. It helps to differentiate you from me and vice versa.

Or, as in “I am the Walrus,” the popular Beatles song


“I am he as you are he as you are me

And we are all together.”


We are together, and we are different. Singular. Unique. One of a kind gem. No two alike. Our claim to authenticity!


As I celebrate a birthday, embarking on another chapter of my life, I am flooded with memories. Some clear, some lacking in details, while others flow like a montage of unconnected experiences in my life.


Certainly I am more than pleased to be at the ripe age of maturity (some would say old). In fact it wasn’t so long ago that I thought of this age (my age) as old. Old is a state of mind, a way of being. My chronological age is keeping tabs on my psychological, mental, physical and emotional age, and the winner is a draw, depending on the day.


That is why I have to dig deeper to find, honor, respect and appreciate the essence of this woman. This authentic being – me!


There is such a rush as I write those words. It makes me humble to be alive. Right here, right now. Yes. I have stories to tell!


I may share some of the memories, but this is not strictly meandering down memory lane. There are some memories I still prefer to keep to myself (and will). If you’ve lived as long as I have, you better have some experiences you want to keep”mum.”


What surfaces as I consider my life, is not the details of my teenage and young adulthood, but the occurrences on a worldwide scale and its impact on us right now.


My personal life does not have worldwide interest or impact. I  have no claim to fame. Sharing some of my personal experiences have  (in tiny ways) touched some, and maybe as you read this, you also may feel or experience some slight impact.


One does not have to be speaking before an audience, or command the ears/attention of millions to have impact. Presence is enough. Integrity and intentionality. The impact is what you choose to do with that presence.


I have developed a certain grace and humility, even though that can also exhibit anger and outrage (depending on the circumstances). The humility allows me to connect to my breath, which allows me to connect to my body, which connects me to my thoughts, my surroundings, my behavior;  and so the ripple continues. The connection of me to the earth, to you and on and on.


When I am in my presence, and I am aware, I can have an impact. I speak differently. I hear differently. I respond differently. I behave differently. I am in reverence of all that is alive, true, perfect and sacred. I respect me more and I respect you more.


I honor life! I am authentic.


There are some “firsts” for me that are memorable in a nostalgic way, while others are purely sentimental. Neither is good or bad. They simply are.


In bringing two children into this world, they are both firsts. My first-born was a boy, and my second born was a girl. The first. The only. They are memorable and nostalgic all rolled into a bundle of everlasting love.


Seeing the birth of my first grand child was overwhelming, exciting, magnificent and awe-inspiring. Giving birth is not the same as seeing a birth.


I remember the first time I was kissed by a boy, It was uneventful, and I’m not sure why I remember it. The memory is vague, but present.


I remember the first time I set foot in England. It was cold, dreary, foggy, and it was a new experience, coupled with the old. I was reunited with my mother. I also remember the first time I arrived in San Francisco. It reminded me of the TV series “The Streets of San Francisco.” I was awed by how large everything was. The Golden Gate bridge was luminous through the fog, and it made me smile.


I could go on for a while, but these are my memories, and I appreciate your indulgence.


We are currently embroiled in political bantering, narcissism, grandstanding, holier-than-thou-ism, deplorable and despicable words and behavior ism. Lies and half-truths, and more lies. This is a part of the present as the two-party system pits Hilary Rodham Clinton (D) and Donald John Trump (R) against each other. They vie for the hearts, votes and respect of the American people – to become the next president of the United States.


The shenanigans are not pretty.


This time in politics, is following on the historical footsteps of the creation of these United States. The true colors of hatred and dissent are more visible and pronounced than the caring and concern that individuals who gave their lives in the Civil Rights movement fought for. This country came about through some unsavory actions.


The turning backwards is giving us the opportunity to examine our souls and our intentions. Perhaps it’s even allowing us to get to know the real history of this country and its people.


Singularly, authentically and collectively – serious examination is called for.


Barak Husain Obama has been the first elected black president of the United States, and his eight-year tenure has not been an easy one. President Obama and first lady Michele Obama have governed with dignity, grace under fire, and have endured the insults, slurs, disrespect and  every imaginable obstacle that has been thrown their way. They have certainly not done everything right.


As two people with their hearts rooted in our African culture, they have not only survived, they are thriving! I share Langston Hughes’ “Lament for Dark Peoples” which gives a little perspective on the foregoing. It is as pertinent now, as when it was penned by Mr Hughes years ago:


I was a red man one time,

But the white men came.

I was a black man, too,

But the white men came.

They drove me out of the forest.

They took me away from the jungles.

I lost my trees.

I lost my silver moons.

Now they’ve caged me

In the circus of civilization.

Now I herd with the many —

Caged in the circus of civilization.


My hope is that the Peoples of every culture, every nation will have a life that is worthy of our history, or sacrifices, our dignity, our caring. Our unique strengths and weaknesses have meaning and make a difference when we think and behave collectively. It is the only thing that will save our humanity.



(916) 452-5278








Don’t Let Others Take Your Kindness For Weakness

picture-452 pond Happy Monday, women of truth! But, wait, did y’all happen to notice how warm today is? Know what that means, right? Yep, time to escape the busyness of life and make those vacay or family reunion plans. This picture is one taken of a prior family gathering where we tackled cabin living. Now, there’s a challenge for even this country girl. I enjoyed the trees, trails, water, fish and the long fishing dock extending over the lake. Experiencing the ambiance of Mother Nature close up and personal is awesome. Just not so much when the little uninvited creatures and neighbors of the woods want to come over to introduce themselves:)

My message today is about having compassion and kindness for others; your fellow-man woman and child. It’s also about being of service without feeling taken advantage of. I want people reading this post to come away armed with the  knowledge that you can be kind and show compassion and empathy for others, but you should never allow anyone to take your kindness for weakness! In the words of Tupac Shakur; “You feel me?”…

(Aside) Sista Afeni Shakur, have got to be spitting out lyrical messages of love and light, accompanied by the hip hop rapper that is Tupac Shakur, her only son~ the two of them grooving together somewhere in the heavens. May they rest in peace.

Don’t Let Others Take Your Compassion And Kindness For Weakness

Okay, so, How you living? Are you being kind to others? Are you a compassionate person? Contrary to popular belief, kindness and compassion for your fellow-man/woman doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you allow others to use your kindness and generosity to their advantage. If you feel that you’re being used because of who you are or what you know and what you’ve been called to do, you must step up and nix that user’s preconceived notion in the bud! Let folks know you are not going to tolerate their callous expectations. Whoever your offenders are and they could be siblings, your children,  mom, dad or even your significant others; you have to stop the madness by letting them know you’re not the one!

Self–preservation is one of the rules of life. And there will come a time where your kindness in the service of others will leave you feeling overwhelmed and depleted, whether financially, physically, socially or emotionally. When you recognize that folks have made your kindness their agenda for their own advancement, it’s your cue to cut the ties that bind.

When I think of compassion, I think of my mother. She had such a kindness about her when it came to making others feel welcome and important. This need to make things better for another person and somehow set things right by doing what she could to put them at ease and not feel different or less than, understandably, endeared me to my mom.. My mother offered compassion and kindness without expectation. This was an empowering and mirrored reflection in the eyes of a child. My mother’s compassion remains one of the biggest influences from my childhood observations. In our compassion for others, we know “There but for the grace of God…

I believe that a child’s compassion for humanity is taught through observation. I saw how my mother treated elderly folks-the respect and offering she held for a homeless man whom she took in, cooked for and feed at her table.

With compassion comes an inner knowing that all people are special in the eyes of God and no one should be treated unfairly, just because they’re different in gender, age, color or religious beliefs. It is not for us to judge. I am driven by my beliefs that involves caring for the rights of others. I thank my parents for raising my sibling and me with a foundation built on faith, equality, morals, values, humility, respect and compassion.

Now, there have been times in my life where others have taken my kindness for weakness and have taken advantage of my soul services. That is why I’m so fortunate to have people in my corner to remind me that saying “no” sometimes will keep me strong, focused and perceptive in my sowing seeds in the service of others. Compassion can be exhausting when you’re being taken advantage of.  And no one wants to feel used. Make sure you use your gift for those who truly deserves and need it.

Always treat yourself special.

If you feel the call to share with us at Authentic Woman, please do. There is healing in the sharing…


It’s Okay To Mourn


Nature Heals

Good Morning, women of purpose!…Immersing myself in the healing powers of Mother Nature always guide me through my suffering.

I captured the blue skies in this picture at the turn of an early spring morning and felt its ethereal essence. I captioned it Nature Heals. I ‘m in no way a photographer, just a nature lover:) This picture helps me focus on the beauty among the ashes.

It’s okay to mourn. There is healing in your mourning. There is recovery in your grief” CF

You don’t have to know someone personally to mourn their passing. Compassion and empathy for another human being are ethereal qualities that come with being human and being a part of this wide spectrum called ‘humanity.’ With the passing of Prince Rogers Nelson on Thursday, I became part of the world who grieved his transition. I, like all of you, felt an overwhelming and consistent sorrow. I felt a void beyond tears and the grief held me captive, to the point that I pushed back the expected post at Clara’s writer’s blog.

The timing wasn’t right and I felt an odd sense of allegiance to the memory of Prince. I also didn’t want to be that callous person who would not take time out to pen condolences to the fallen musician, who had become a household name in the industry of music… and to his fans. Also, I didn’t want to short change my expert and special guest at the blog for that day, by mindlessly posting our beautiful interview.

On the days that belonged to the memory of Prince, I didn’t answer the phone or engage in conversation. I watched many newscasts and testimonials about his life, until I couldn’t bear to watch any longer. While the world went purple in respect and honor of the man, his music, his penchant for fashion and his overall genius, self taught and could play 27 instruments by the age of 12, my thoughts turned to all the other musical visionaries whose passing still leaves a void.

When Michael Jackson died, I was asked to pen a tribute by the editor of The Chicago Bulletin Newspaper. I was reluctant to do so because Michael’s death caused the darkness that was my grief to rain down to such an extent that my voice was mute and “I had no words.” In my tribute to MJ’s memory, I began by writing~ “I have no words.”

The unexpected loss of Whitney Houston caused the editor of a London magazine to add a footnote to an article I’d penned about Whitney, likening her comeback from a troubled drug addicted path to the rise of the phoenix.  The world was pulling for Whitney and later, for the survival of Whitney’s grieving and troubled young daughter, Bobbie Christina.

Musical visionaries like Prince, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, David Bowie and countless others; all gone too soon. The world will mourn their passing and keep their memories alive via their music, telling their stories and recounting fond accounts of~ “remembering the times.”

There are unknowable things that occur in the world that we have no control over. And when someone dies or suffer horrible and irreparable physical damage, we feel deeply. We are spiritual being living a human existence and so, every time a person dies, be it family, friends or celebrity, we are forced to come face to face with our own mortality. And so, with the death of one of my favorite musical entertainers, standing right alongside Michael Jackson, the “King Of Pop,” I join all who mourn; “Gone too soon.”

Prince’s passion, dedication and love for the music teaches me to stay my course and not be swayed by other folks opinion in the creation of my art. Prince Roger Nelson didn’t try to be anything, to anybody, but himself.  This was a man who remained true to his creativity that fueled his outstanding body of musical works. The man loved his music, loved penning songs for himself and for others; all while living life on his own terms.


Always treat yourself special and live your life doing and being the one and only you!

Do You Know Your Why?



Good Morning, women of faith and beauty! I hope you’ve been enjoying your spring, as much as I have. This photo is the view outside my window when I wake up in the mornings. Imagine what the trees look like blanketed by snow or shaken by gigantic winds. I have captured a few of those photos with my cellphone to share with my growing audience. Keep in mind, I’m no photographer, just a nature lover. I’m so happy to be in such close proximity to the awesomeness of Mother Nature again. This beautiful space allows for the tranquil moments I seek during unsettling times when a world is fraught with chaos and troubles. In this place, I find an inner peace, strength and resilience. I can relax, rejuvenate and create every morning, noon and night.

On this beautiful Monday morning, I have a song on my lips and gratitude in my heart and I’m thankful and humbled by how far I’ve come as I accept and embrace the ‘Why’ of my existence. My parents used to joke that I came into the world, “screaming & hollering”, in fact, my sibling used to think that description of my birth was hilarious! Little did we know that I would come into the world, “Protesting”. We’re taught at an early age that Jesus came to save souls. At the age of eleven, I knew that I was somehow born to serve those who walked unaware; those who remain silent in the uprisings; those who take life as it comes and doesn’t want to challenge the world’s apple cart of injustice, human beings civil rights, women rights, internet trolls, racist and haters. I believe in my why.

For the last 5 decades, I’ve made it’s been my mission to empower the voice of women, children and the elderly. These are the voices, I feel, that have gone unheard for too long. Little children of abuse and neglect depend upon adult authority figures for their protection, and often are told to speak when spoken to, if at all. Many women guard their tongues and are afraid to speak their truths, for fear of backlash or personal consequence. The wisdom of our elderly, oftentimes goes unrecognized, ignored and taken for granted. My goal is to keep these “underdogs” in the forefront of change.

Do you know the reason for your existing? Do you know your why? Don’t stress if you haven’t awakened to your truths. Trust and believe, purpose will reveal itself during the time of your “Becoming.”

A bit of news on Unleash Your Pearls~ Empowering Women Voices. Unfortunately, I haven’t been given a release date as of yet, but the good news from my publisher is that I will have the book’s cover to share with all of you very soon!


“This book was written for all of the “underdogs”, who, for whatever reason are not allowed the opportunity to speak from a place of authentic truth. It is for women, who don’t know that their voices matter. This book champions all women to unleash your pearls.”

Unleash Your Pearls~Empowering Women Voices, 2016. Pending release date



Springtime Messages To Alienate Distractors and Keep You Focused And Inspired


Happy Spring, women of valor!

Have you every gotten carried away with a project and you look up and it’s “getting late over in the evening and the sun is going down?”  Well, this is what happened on Monday and I was so tired that I just took my body burdens to bed…

A few months ago, I shared how an internet troll tried to engage me in heated conversation by calling me demeaning names and attempting to attack my character. My initial reaction was shock, of course, being that I’m such a fair-minded individual. And when I tried to speak on the matter in question with a sound opinion, the hater, stuck to his hater induced rants. I’m sure he didn’t expect “Crickets”, but that’s exactly the end result he deserved~ absolute silence! When you know who you are, whose you are and why you are, “ain’t nobody got time for that.”:)

Today, I want to share a few springtime messages to alienate distractors and keep you focused and inspired on your purpose journey:

  1. Wake up smiling and keep a positive mindset
  2.  Have a grateful heart
  3. Shine a spotlight on the accomplishment of others
  4. Be kind to strangers
  5. Think before you speak~ in essence, don’t feed the trolls. Instead, let them hear “Crickets.” Trust and believe these folks need your voice to make them relevant!
  6. Have compassion and empathy for others
  7. Don’t be a validation seeker~your greatness will shine irregardless of what others in the world might think of you.
  8. Say no to what doesn’t feel right and yes to what does. Use your intuitive gifts
  9.  Continue to be a woman of faith and trust and believe with your true heart that your needs will be met
  10. Strive to live right and turn a negative into a positive.
  11. When you achieve something great, rejoice in your accomplishment, but don’t go getting the big head. Stay humbled by your blessing.
  12. Words are like bullets. They can hurt, cripple a dream and cause injury to another. Use your words wisely.
  13. Keep your eyes on the prize…

Sometimes we need to let go of the grind. I’ll be taking a Spring break with the kiddies after this week. Thanks to all of you for Authentic Woman’s ever-growing support base. I’m always happy to be of service.

Always treat yourself special.

Stress Relief Tips For The Stay At Home Mom

Happy Leap Year, women of Substance! The news report this morning informed viewers that women are allowed to propose to their significant others every 4 years on Leap Year because men are probably suffering from something called “Cold” feet? Hilarious right!?


So, this morning, I wake up to chase the two year old around as she turns her nose up at oatmeal for breakfast, asks for cookies and decides to pour her cup of orange juice on the couch. I’m hardly prepared for this battle I could very well lose because of the war going on with ole Uncle Arthur (arthritis) who came for a visit on Sunday and refuses to leave!  Between hearing “leave me lones”, that’s “leave me alone, gram-gram in laymen terms)  and the stiffness threatening a takeover, I retreat to a safe distance from the child to sneak in this post, appropriately titled Stress Relief Tips for The Stay at Home Mom or in my case, Caregiver.

If you’re having a moment and you can’t ignore stress away, you have to invent creative ways to lessen the pain of it all. In acting as caregiver for my great granddaughter today, I can totally relate to the struggle of the stressed out stay at home mom. Whoever thinks that stay at home moms are having an easy go of it, compared to moms working a gig outside the home, think again. Working moms and stay at home moms work their butts off, in both scenarios.The solution to combating stress for the stay at home mom can be foggy when there are two and four year olds involved. Outside of the need for constant supervision, here are a few of my tested and approved stress relief tips for the stay at home mom.6881299-crying-baby-girl-crying-small-child

  1. Get out of bed an hour or two earlier than they do. You can get a lot done in a short amount of time; load the dishwasher,wash a few loads of clothes, vacuum a bit, write that blog post, prep their breakfast, check your emails, have a hot coffee or tea. And, if you’re a Boomer, make sure you’ve taken your prescribed pain meds the night before. It won’t hurt to pop a one -a- day in the morning either.
  2. Prepare a fun time for scheduled  baths. The two year old loves her yellow ducky and I make darn sure she gets that bird and more colorful toys from the rubber duckies family. Brushing teeth can be troublesome when they’re two but count to ten and try to get them to open their mouths again and if that doesn’t work, turn over the dang toothbrush and sing in demonstration how it’s done. You might want to make a dental appointment just for backup. So far, no cavities on this end.
  3. Speaking of cavities? When they take your hand to guide you to the kitchen for cookie or chips? Turn their attention to yogurt & fruits, instead and then, hide the cookies.
  4. At two and four, they are usually way smarter than a 5th grader. Just ask them how you might serve them and by all means if they say, “Mickey Mouse” or name a Disney channel, make yourself comfortable and prepare to settle in for the long haul.
  5. When those little eyes get droopy and nap-time rolls around, help the process along with soft songs your mama sang to you and read their favorite animal book with the  quack-quack, oink- oink and moo-moo sounds. Gently massage their backs with loving hands and soon they’re asleep.After you pick up the mess in the living room, send a text of her/him sleeping soundly in your bed to their working mom, kick off your house-shoes and get in there. Trust and believe, those extra Zzz’s can work wonders.

If you’re a heavy sleeper, don’t attempt that last call to action to relieve stress. I am a light sleeper, with eyes positioned in the back of my head, so for me it’s all good:)

Finally, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a stay at home mom, stand in mom, working outside the home mom, or grandma caregiver, the most important thing to remember when you’re feeling stressed is, don’t sweat the small stuff…be prepared to live it, do it and keep doing it in creative ways that works.

Always love yourself and treat your loved ones special!

Okay stay at home moms, have a go at how you prepare to relieve your ‘childcare’ stress.

Ten Outstanding Characteristics of The Reawakened Woman


Happy Monday, women of truth!  On Sunday, I woke up asking myself, what else could I do to help bring understanding and awareness to women who haven’t yet reawakened to their authentic truths? Well, my book, Unleash Your Pearls,  is all about championing the reawakened voice of women, but unfortunately, the book is at the publishers, awaiting a release date. I decided to share a bit from the book in today’s post, in hopes of reaching those women who are entering into the beginning of their authentic reawakening and for the woman who ‘feels’ like something strange is going on inside of her being, but fear finding out what that unknown”something” is.

Trust and believe, I’ve been there and done that. I’ve been in that space as wife and mother where family obligations took precedence. I’ve been that friend to others whose voices muffled mine and that sister to siblings who might think me weird or that silent employee who sees and hears no evil. I’ve been that,”I’m doing fine” woman who didn’t want to upset the apple-cart of a life lived as follower in a world where sameness, predictability, conservative mindsets and mediocrity ruled. You all might want to know that I’ve lived clueless, in a “fake” definition of who I thought I was. But, glo~ry! that inauthentic woman ain’t me anymore!:)

When you are reawakened to your ‘true’ self, the things you’ve always believed or tolerated will fall away and you begin to walk a different path, leading to a happier lifestyle where meaning and purpose, responsibility and accountability reign. Living an authentic, reawakened life begins as a blank canvas where broad strokes of your truth is painted in abstract pictures of boldness, brilliance, vibrancy, enlightenment and self awareness. In my book, Unleash Your Pearls, I offer women a strategic authentic woman guide to understanding their journey to becoming. The list below makes up some of those characterizations in the book. Feel free to take from the list what you need, in order to help guide your understanding on your personal path to reawakening and keep an eye out for Unleash Your Pearls!

10 Outstanding Characteristics Of The Reawakened Woman:

  1. You grow in awareness and understanding and you become a seeker of spiritual knowledge
  2. You are humbled, knowing that it’s not about you, but those you are called to serve
  3. You don’t live your life in jealousy, greed, envy or judgement of others
  4. You know that you are a spiritual being living a human existence and therefore, you are not immune to the sufferings, trials and tribulations that living life experience brings and you know that every problem has a solution, so you work to find that light at the end of the tunnel~ in other words, we fall but we can get back up!
  5. You encourage the greatness in others
  6. You step up to become the voice for the “underdog that I allude to in Unleash Your Pearls as the those silent voices of women, children and the elderly who cannot peak for themselves.
  7. You respect the wisdom of the elders because they’ve been there and lived that!
  8. You open yourself to the power of intuition and living a life of meaning
  9. You work your passion and purpose and know that you will live a sustainable lifestyle from your gifts
  10. You know God loves you and gives you permission to love yourself and have compassion and empathy for others.

Blessings to all of you and remember to always treat yourself special!

Broken Relationship? How To Stay Authentic And Love Yourself Better

“The more of me I be,
The clearer I can see.”
― Rachel Archelaus

Happy Monday, Authentic Woman!  I hope you all had a loving day on Valentine’s Day, whether you’re in a relationship and celebrating the day set aside for couples in love or not. If you’re not in a relationship because you recently broke up, got divorced or happily living single, you can still find ways to celebrate yourself by spending part of the day with family and friends or hanging out with some of your besties. Don’t allow a broken relationship to ruin your good times.

More Insights on Loving Yourself Better:

“What do you get when you fall in love? A boy with a pin to burst your bubble… That’s what you get for all your trouble…” These are lyrics from one of Dionne Warwick’s biggest ‘oldie but goodies’ hits called, “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again.” A bit dated, for sure, but its meaning is still relevant when it comes to the matters of the heart. You see, falling in love never gets old; it’s the aftermath stemming from a lost or unrequited love that will cause your heart to bleed and life as you know it to suck!
Since the dawning of time, women have been perceived as the nurturer in relationships, while men were identified as the breadwinners and protectors. The times, they are ‘a changing’ and have changed as, reportedly, more women than men have garnered college degrees in their chosen field, serve as head of their households and are taking the reins as leaders and CEOs of big conglomerates. It’s safe to say that women are embracing their girl power and its full stem ahead!
Is it any wonder, then, that men might be left feeling a bit intimidated by the rise in female power and therefore, might not be as forthcoming as we are in baring their truths and vulnerabilities in a hopeful committed relationship?
The fact remains that those Neanderthal men still exists. You know, those guys; the ones who think women should be seen and not heard. It’s hard for some men to view women as equal partners in their professional and personal relationships. So, choose your potential mate wisely and be yourself. When you enter into a relationship, authentic and whole, a self-aware man who is confident in his own skin will be attracted to the confident person you are.

The Essence of RomanceThe battle of the sexes is an ongoing phenomenon and both sexes oftentimes get it wrong. It behooves people to do a self-analysis of what they want from a relationship, before taking the plunge into a love affair that could go all the way South. They should recognize that an all-consuming and overwhelming attraction for someone could very well be a response to feelings of lust, instead of love.
The art of communication is the basis for sustaining a relationship, along with trust, support and mutual respect. In Essence of Romance, the relationship guide for singles and couples that I co-authored with Chicago author, Eve Cogdell, we introduce expert views and researched data on relationships and explore the challenges couples face, including rejected and lost love, recognizing tangible actions from men who are in love and, examining what both sexes really want in a potential mate.
The thing about love is that it’s complicated. Men and women expect different things from the relationship and are hardly on the same page. Before diving heart first into what could possibly be a perquisite to a broken heart, women need to know what those things are. Does he just want sex, as in friends with benefits or is he truly committed to being present in the relationship? Are women in really okay with a man who is simply on the chase, or, are they looking for something more promising?
Steve Harvey, comedian, talk show host and author of Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, advises women to be smart when it comes to relationships. According to Mr. Harvey, If a man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, he’s not going to change his mind because you two are going on dates and being intimate. The only way to know what a person wants in a relationship is to ask. Men are not mind readers and women need to get pass that preconceived notion of walking down the aisle after the third date.
It’s been proven time and again that humor in a man acts like an aphrodisiac for women. Besides being financially secure, respectful and trustworthy, a man of wit tends to bring out the happy in women. Regardless of how much a man makes you giggle, however, women should look beyond those outside enticements and use their intuitive listening power to decipher the bull from the real.
You might believe that he’s your guy for the rest of your life, but all men who talk a good game and wear great smelling cologne don’t have your best interests at heart. The late poet/humanitarian, Maya Angelou said “When you know better you do better.” If we don’t know better, we won’t do better.
There’s a reason people come into our lives and you have to trust that when the right person comes knocking at your heart’s door, you will know he’s the one. If you are suffering from a broken relationship, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, thank God for the experience and work on loving yourself better.
In order to heal yourself from the aftermath of a broken relationship, and love yourself better, you have to be authentic in dealing with your emotions. Don’t pretend you’re alright when you’re not. The sooner you allow yourself to “feel” the hurt, disappointment, and anger. The sooner you get over him, the sooner you can take back your shine!
Here are five woman power tips to use daily on the journey to loving yourself better from a broken relationship:
1. Get rid of the’ when love was good’ evidence- those sweet, sappy love notes, photographs taken at Disney World and the monogrammed bathrobe that you thought bonded you forever…
2. Look in the mirror every morning, smile at your reflection and say, “Self, I am enough!”
3. Let bygones be bygones. Don’t play the blame game or try to coerce him into loving you again. When you’ve done all you can to make the relationship work and he still wants out? Let him go. There’s a reason certain people come into our lives, so keep your heart open to receive the gift of authentic love when the right man comes knocking at your heart’s door.
4. Hang out with your girls and let them pamper you with kindness in ways that let’s you know, “they got you.”
5. Pamper yourself in warm baths of jasmine or body wash of your choosing. Sleep on satin sheets. Listen to self-affirming songs and pour yourself a cold glass of your favorite liquid courage and savor your “Me” time.
Those pity parties you’re throwing for yourself is okay, up to a point, but if the breakup is causing you to breakdowns, seek professional help.

Always treat yourself special!

Portions of this article first appeared in my column for ME Magazine, 2015