Great Leaders: What Makes Them Special?

“Today a reader tomorrow a leader” Margaret Fuller

Great Leaders What Makes Them Special?

Many who should be leaders are afraid to step up and become what they know in the bosoms of their existence, is their supernatural calling. It’s so much easier to remain followers. I don’t believe leaders are born, I think they are made to see things differently than others. I think leaders ‘see’ what others can’t even fathom.

What makes an effective, trusted and respected leader? What makes them special? There are the obvious dynamics of course; learning from life experiences, discipline, a strong work ethic and a core belief system. These core values stem from parental upbringing, environmental and behavioral observations and institutional learning, some of which are carried into adulthood.I learned morals, empathy, perseverance, faith and compassion from my mother. I learned to appreciate value of hard work and the almighty dollar from my dad. Daddy used to say as long as you work, you’re never broke. If daddy was alive today, he’d get a loving adult daughter rebuttal on that one:) We all have an affinity for learning from our parents who are our first teachers and more often than not, we tend to accept these lessons as truth.

As leaders age, there’s a tendency to not go along with the status quo as easily. Where the degree or certification is viewed as a prerequisite to great leadership advantages by most, those who  become leaders know that book sense and common sense are not always interchangeable, and so they might consider an alternative that bring awareness to the discovery of their own truths. If you’re a team player who is a follower in medicine, technology, the arts or any area of your living, with an overwhelming desire to educate and inform; a desire to create something from nothing or, to make an impact in the lives of others, the time to believe in yourself is now. Step out from the sameness and forge your own path. Do that great thing you’ve always wanted to do. Trust and believe someone is waiting for you to lead the charge.

Leadership Qualities:

When you practice the golden rule of treating people the way you want to be treated, in business and in your personal life, you earn trust and belief from those looking to be a part of a winning team. To be an effective leader you must leave your ego at the door. Leaders don’t use their power to lord over or to belittle others. A true leader doesn’t use their power to abuse or demean; but to uplift, encourage and invoke creative solutions to challenging problems.

Don’t be aggressive in your leadership or quick to anger. Instead practice assertive decorum and lead by example. Don’t mix business with pleasure or give your employees ammunition to disrespect your leadership. Steve Harvey wrote a scolding and scorching letter to his employees recently, berating them for approaching him, whenever. Perhaps if he’d initiated a policy and procedure manual upon hiring, mandated to all of his employees, they might have gotten the memo that Mr. Harvey wasn’t their ‘ride and die’ but their employer. You show people how you want to be treated.

The more you know, the more you grow in the role of a leader. The visionaries, motivators and innovators in leadership positions are often led by their desire to see greatness in others and are willing to teach others what they have learned. If you have been sabotaging your leadership abilities because you are afraid of failure or even success in your new role, now’s the time to stop the madness of negativity and fear. Step out on faith and keep going. If you fail, try again and if you fail again, keep trying until you’ve given it all you got. Nothing hurts worse than never giving ‘U’ a chance.

Sometimes You Don’t Want The Responsibility

I spent over 30 years in a leadership position during my nursing career. There were many times I felt that I didn’t want the headache. Through trial and error of coping and strategizing on how to handle people attitudes and sensibilities, I got better at what I called my lot in life. I settled into my calling and people took notice. Over the years, I’ve spoken to patients and their family members, women and male co-workers seeking advice or a listening ear. I became someone I never asked to become…mentor, advisor, confidant, encourager and motivator.

I’ve always been sensitive to the needs of children, not only because I’m a mother, but because children are innocent and look to adults for their protection and unconditional love. I’ve advocated for the safety of children on the school grounds and in gang infested neighborhoods… I’ve sat in awe of the elder wisdom as I’ve bathed them and dressed their wounds, sat at their bedside to hear their stories of happiness and regret. I’ve heard about their childhoods, marriages and their love for nature and music. I’ve heard the unspoken yearning for human connection in their aged voices. No woman is an island and so we have to love ourselves enough. We have to choose our battles wisely, where our voices reach the furthest.

Women of a certain age were the catalyst for Authentic Woman in 2008. I wanted a place where women could share their stories and speak their truths. It was a mirror to the reflection of our younger selves who were quickly growing into our older selves. In writing, talking , hosting and connecting with women, the dynamic of the woman voice changed. Women from all over the world, every ethnicity and every age stop by here, either to read, comment, or grab an email address to share concerns and seek help in making an informed decision. I’ve welcomed every voice!

I don’t want to change my blog’s message. I wanted to extend the longevity of Authentic Woman and so I wrote Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices as an invitation to all women who want to share in the woman journey. This is a book from authentic life lessons, interactions with other women voices and from my heart on life challenges and its triumphs. I hope you consider reading Unleash Your Pearls, while I’m away. Contact me at-unleashyourpearls@yahoo.com. My Authentic Woman Story eBook is available at https://www.amazon.com/author/clarafreeman. Do pick up a copy as a preamble to Unleash Your Pearls.

I send blessings to all of you and hope that you live your happy. I look forward to reading your comments and encourage you on your mission journey. I know you will make a positive impact in the minds and hearts of others. Because my journey has brought me to other avenues to explore in the phase of my living, I will be taking an indefinite leave from my blogs. I won’t leave social media entirely, but , for now, this is my final posting at Authentic Woman. My goal is to continue to do work that bring awareness and demand accountability on my purpose path to empower the voiceless.

May you all find your happy

Clara B, Freeman

xoxo

 

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Mother Earth~”Medicine For Your Soul”

The medicine for my suffering I have within me.” Bruce Lee.

Good Monday Morning, women of the earth! It’s been too long, but I’ve been living in a whirlwind since my new book came out. Marketing, promoting, sending out signed copies and thanking folks who became buyers. I’m basically spreading the good news about the book’s message, championing women voices. When your book finally launches, trust and believe, your work is just beginning. I’ve also been serving on a few other book projects that I will share with all of you at a later date. Trust me, I’ve been doing meaningful work:)

I hope people gave a nod to the need to protect their environment on April 22nd in appreciation of Earth Day. It was a beautiful Saturday for birdwatchers, bikers, spring gardeners, music lovers and lovers strolling hand in hand in the park. It was a great day to celebrate the vast magnificence that is Mother Earth. I always find healing in her beauty, fierceness and tranquility. When you are stressed from the busyness of activities in your daily living, embrace nature. You  will feel refreshed, replenished and refocused on your purpose for being.

The view from my balcony…

Mother Earth is medicine for your soul.  She awakens you to spirit and keeps you grounded. Listen and she will reveal the truths of who you are. In the presence of nature, you can envision your best and most productive self. When my mind is quiet, I’m open to the intuitive messages from the universe. It’s awesome to be in this space of serene presence, the awareness of something greater than ourselves. When I lived in the suburbs of Chicago, I  would watch raindrops splattering on city sidewalks outside my windows. The fresh smell of a country rain, connecting with the soil of God’s green earth were the happy endorphins playing tag in my brain when I was a girl growing up in the South.

Birds. Bees. Flowers and Trees. Oh My!

I love the serenity that permeates from sitting on a lone dock  somewhere, staring out at the sun-glistened waters of a brooding lake, its silent waves shimmering ripples of magic before my eyes. I love walking in the early mornings on a quiet city street while a world sleeps and mother nature’s fresh coating of pristine snow blankets the ground, welcoming my steps as the first footprints to the day. Yes, I really walked to work in the city after the snowstorms of 2012 as a world slept. It would be just me, the silent skies and white snow blanketing the streets and sidewalks leading to the facility where I worked as a nurse.

The view outside my window… 

There’s a saying, “You can take the girl out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the girl.” So true! I love that I was introduced to the simplicity of country living as a girl. There’s so much good that comes from the experience that insulates from the bad (which led to another point of my advocacy) Living country life humbles you. You take notice and revel in the trivial things. You know that real beauty comes from Mother Nature and you’re not bothered about the artificial things people accumulate to make themselves happy. Happiness is simplicity that can be found around you and within you and by spending time and making lasting memories with loved ones and close friends; by doing work you love and by giving back to those less fortunate. Sowing seeds of compassion and purpose is like feeling rich soil of the earth trickle from your bare hands.

When You Are Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired:

On those days, when you find yourself feeling defeated and powerless and just sick and tired of being sick and tired, I urge you to seek understanding from a beloved elder or spiritual mentor. Pray. Step out on that beloved Serenity Prayer and know that we must accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can and be wise enough to know the difference. We must understand that no man, woman or child is an island…that we need to reach out in love and compassion… build a bridge, become a village, unleash your pearls, find your voice and speak out against injustice. Bring to the forefront the hatred and stereotypical behaviors borne of ignorance and preconceived notions. Bring awareness and hold people accountable. Ultimately, we must recognize that we have a purpose for being.

In Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices, I share a story about how as children, my siblings and I were told by our parents that if we uncovered an oyster nestled in the mud along the shallow edges of the riverbank, not from our home, we could open it and find a beautiful pearl nestled inside. You can bet my siblings and I carried out this mission for a long time:) always believing we’d find that pearl. It was a lesson in motivation and persistence from our parents that I use in my personal and professional life today. The world in these trying times should take heed from that tale and keep looking and working for the positives in life and persist in the convictions to make life better and inclusive for all.

When the road on your journey to sharing your purpose narrows and becomes too overwhelming, remember the above quote from Bruce Lee, “the medicine for my suffering I have within me.” Immerging yourself in the ambiance of god’s earthly offerings is the icing on the cake to your continued good health and wellbeing.

If you’d like a signed copy of Unleash Your Pearls, contact me via the blog or email unleashyourpearls@yahoo.com

Always treat yourself special!

Unleash Your Pearls:What Some Readers Are Saying-

Happy Spring, women warriors! So, I finally unpacked my new computer. It’s been languishing in a box since Christmas and I’m experiencing a few bumps in the road getting it set up. I was also having separation issues about abandoning my old computer. It’s been my trusted companion for the last 8 years. Okay, so it’s a bit dated, people:) but, very reliable up until a few weeks ago when it began to drag, cough and sputter; losing its oomph right before my eyes. Sadly, it was time for both of us to face the reality of change; can you say retirement?

My trusted computer friend and I have been thru the thick and thin of it, and it’s still hard to say good-bye (sigh)

The Good News!

Most of us know the anxiety of making that publishing transition from “writer” to “author” upon completion of our books. It’s the full on awareness that we have to put on this unfamiliar hat where we call the shots in the marketing, distribution and sale of our products that can be daunting.  Shortly after the release of my book, the experience of finally getting to another level of my work and getting published set the tone for feelings of accomplishment, joy, worry and instances of second guessing myself.

My joyful moments were becoming marred by worry and it was frustrating. I lamented over getting good reviews and wondered if my book was going to sell. The one thing a new author should never worry about is their book’s message, however, because what you want to convey to your readers should be apparent before you release your pearls.

In all of this author madness, my woman empowered message remains clear because I am clear on my purpose mission for writing Unleash Your Pearls…you gotta read it to get that!

The reality in the book world is that not every reader is going to sing your praises and what you, the author have to do, is let go, let God and keep-a-going; per the late Ms.Gwendolyn Brooks evergreen writing advice. I was elated and humbled when I read some remarks from early readers about Unleash Your Pearls. I was also motivated to continue marketing my book from a place of authenticity and truth.

Recent Reader Responses:

“Loved the encouragement to have faith in yourself and learn to speak up. I had to do that myself.” K. Woods.

“Makes good points; regardless of sex.” From a male’s perspective who gave the book a thumbs up.

“Oh, my god what a good book! I am so proud of you. I hope many women get a hold of this book. It is as if women have been waiting for a book like this.” (life mentor) J. Eubanks

“I’m sure this will be a great book.” CONGRATULATIONS! (another male voice)

“This Is A Book That Every Woman of Purpose Should Have.” C. Miller

I’m feeling encouraged as I encourage all women (and men) to honor your calling, become the champion of your own authentic voice and Unleash Your Pearls. In the next few days I’ll be honoring purchase requests, following up with distribution resources and researching other book promotional avenues , while grooving fully in the moments of becoming a new “boss” author on the rise:)

To purchase or reserve your copy of Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices, email unleashyourpearls@yahoo.com

Next month, I’ll also be addressing avenues for book distribution, promotions and sales on Clara’s writers blog. If you’d like to join me in this discussion, email me your thoughts. (both seasoned and new authors input welcome) because we’re all in this publishing thing together:)

Always treat yourself special.

 

 

Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices Is Finally Here!

Good Monday Morning, women of purpose! I’ve been busy this last week, sending out signed copies of my new empowerment book for women. Yes, people, after a long year in waiting, Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women’s Voices is finally released. Yay! I’m on great grandma duties as well, while trying to get this post out. It’s a feat that truly takes a bit of creative maneuvering because right now the child, who is fighting a cold, has toppled her toy box, refused to eat her breakfast and requests Apple Juice instead of Orange because OJ hurts her three year old tummy. “Gram Gram, I said no!” Bear with me as I’m also trying to work out the kinks for online purchases, but if you’d like a personal signed copy in time for Women’s History Month? Use the convenient contact form or email me for details.

16864732_1811490049068448_5434373568282161503_n We’re off to such a great start, however, thanks in part to the support of my Lil sister,Connie Faye Miller, who sent out an SOS on fb and received such wonderful and loving support from her tribe of followers; including church peeps, sistah friends and even folks from our hometown. I see you Florine 🙂 I’ve just had a batch sent out this morning and I thank everyone for their interest and support. My one wish is that women and the men who love and support them, will read Unleash Your Pearls and receive from its pages a bit of encouragement, inspiration and motivation that allows them to unleash their pearls!

There is a story behind the title of the book that was my original intent to share with y’all, but because I’m led to write from the heart today, I will leave that particular book spoiler ( I relate the story in the book) for another monthly post. But, hopefully, y’all will have secured your copy just in time for Women’s History Month and read the story for yourself:) Send purchase inquiries to unleashyourpearls@yahoo.com or clarawriter@att.net

More perks from the pages of Unleash Your Pearl Empowering Women’s Voices:

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“Gram-Gram I’m hungry!”

“Coming!”

Remember to always treat yourself special.

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Sowing Seeds Of Holiday Cheer!

Happy Holidays, women of compassion! With Christmas just over the horizon nearing the last week of 2016, I hope you all can appreciate a great year of perseverance, hope and resilience. I also want to wish all of you an abundance of joy, peace, good health and prosperity the coming new year and beyond! This post is a bit different because I’m asking everyone to join me in sowing a bit of holiday cheer to my good friend and colleague, Ms. Evelyn Cogdell, who has been a bit under the weather these last months. Some of you might not know this, but Evelyn reached out to me in 2014 to ask if I’d like to collaborate with her on her new book. I gladly accepted and we had a blast.

On a recent conversation, however, I learned that book sales were a bit disappointing for this prolific author, which happens from time to time, but I know Evelyn is not as productive as she’d like to be. I believe in this book. It’s one of those undiscovered diamonds in the rough. The Essence of Romance is a little book of value that is gravely undervalued. It is in parts, witty, serious and informative and it holds some of “my” best work 🙂

If you’re in a serious relationship and you want to keep the flames burning brighter or even if you seek to start a flicker of a flame this holiday season going forward, you must grab a copy of this book! Help me to encourage Evelyn and bring a smile to this spirit filled warrior woman’s face this holiday season by purchasing a copy of The Essence of Romance at https://www.amazon.com/dp/0966489845/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_x_AmawybQ37MWVB or feel free to send tidings of joy and recovery to Evelyn in the comment section.

Always treat yourself special and remember,”Tis the season!”

The Essence of Romance

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PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE ~ by Pauline Haynes

“Use your influence to help others”

Good morning, women of purpose! I’m happy to reconnect with all of your amazing voices. I appreciate, honor and heart you all! Today, I bring you an empowering, authentic and trans-formative message from one of the most influential life coaches in the universe. Please welcome back to Authentic Woman, my authentic camaraderie in arms, Ms. Pauline Haynes!

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PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE

Every one of us is unique and totally irreplaceable. We have all had connections with people, places, things, and experiences. No matter how much we try, each individual has his or her own take on the story or stories, even if two people were present at the same occasion/occurrence.

 

The word authenticity has been so seemingly over-used, but it is a beautiful word that aptly describes who we are. It helps to differentiate you from me and vice versa.

Or, as in “I am the Walrus,” the popular Beatles song

 

“I am he as you are he as you are me

And we are all together.”

 

We are together, and we are different. Singular. Unique. One of a kind gem. No two alike. Our claim to authenticity!

 

As I celebrate a birthday, embarking on another chapter of my life, I am flooded with memories. Some clear, some lacking in details, while others flow like a montage of unconnected experiences in my life.

 

Certainly I am more than pleased to be at the ripe age of maturity (some would say old). In fact it wasn’t so long ago that I thought of this age (my age) as old. Old is a state of mind, a way of being. My chronological age is keeping tabs on my psychological, mental, physical and emotional age, and the winner is a draw, depending on the day.

 

That is why I have to dig deeper to find, honor, respect and appreciate the essence of this woman. This authentic being – me!

 

There is such a rush as I write those words. It makes me humble to be alive. Right here, right now. Yes. I have stories to tell!

 

I may share some of the memories, but this is not strictly meandering down memory lane. There are some memories I still prefer to keep to myself (and will). If you’ve lived as long as I have, you better have some experiences you want to keep”mum.”

 

What surfaces as I consider my life, is not the details of my teenage and young adulthood, but the occurrences on a worldwide scale and its impact on us right now.

 

My personal life does not have worldwide interest or impact. I  have no claim to fame. Sharing some of my personal experiences have  (in tiny ways) touched some, and maybe as you read this, you also may feel or experience some slight impact.

 

One does not have to be speaking before an audience, or command the ears/attention of millions to have impact. Presence is enough. Integrity and intentionality. The impact is what you choose to do with that presence.

 

I have developed a certain grace and humility, even though that can also exhibit anger and outrage (depending on the circumstances). The humility allows me to connect to my breath, which allows me to connect to my body, which connects me to my thoughts, my surroundings, my behavior;  and so the ripple continues. The connection of me to the earth, to you and on and on.

 

When I am in my presence, and I am aware, I can have an impact. I speak differently. I hear differently. I respond differently. I behave differently. I am in reverence of all that is alive, true, perfect and sacred. I respect me more and I respect you more.

 

I honor life! I am authentic.

 

There are some “firsts” for me that are memorable in a nostalgic way, while others are purely sentimental. Neither is good or bad. They simply are.

 

In bringing two children into this world, they are both firsts. My first-born was a boy, and my second born was a girl. The first. The only. They are memorable and nostalgic all rolled into a bundle of everlasting love.

 

Seeing the birth of my first grand child was overwhelming, exciting, magnificent and awe-inspiring. Giving birth is not the same as seeing a birth.

 

I remember the first time I was kissed by a boy, It was uneventful, and I’m not sure why I remember it. The memory is vague, but present.

 

I remember the first time I set foot in England. It was cold, dreary, foggy, and it was a new experience, coupled with the old. I was reunited with my mother. I also remember the first time I arrived in San Francisco. It reminded me of the TV series “The Streets of San Francisco.” I was awed by how large everything was. The Golden Gate bridge was luminous through the fog, and it made me smile.

 

I could go on for a while, but these are my memories, and I appreciate your indulgence.

 

We are currently embroiled in political bantering, narcissism, grandstanding, holier-than-thou-ism, deplorable and despicable words and behavior ism. Lies and half-truths, and more lies. This is a part of the present as the two-party system pits Hilary Rodham Clinton (D) and Donald John Trump (R) against each other. They vie for the hearts, votes and respect of the American people – to become the next president of the United States.

 

The shenanigans are not pretty.

 

This time in politics, is following on the historical footsteps of the creation of these United States. The true colors of hatred and dissent are more visible and pronounced than the caring and concern that individuals who gave their lives in the Civil Rights movement fought for. This country came about through some unsavory actions.

 

The turning backwards is giving us the opportunity to examine our souls and our intentions. Perhaps it’s even allowing us to get to know the real history of this country and its people.

 

Singularly, authentically and collectively – serious examination is called for.

 

Barak Husain Obama has been the first elected black president of the United States, and his eight-year tenure has not been an easy one. President Obama and first lady Michele Obama have governed with dignity, grace under fire, and have endured the insults, slurs, disrespect and  every imaginable obstacle that has been thrown their way. They have certainly not done everything right.

 

As two people with their hearts rooted in our African culture, they have not only survived, they are thriving! I share Langston Hughes’ “Lament for Dark Peoples” which gives a little perspective on the foregoing. It is as pertinent now, as when it was penned by Mr Hughes years ago:

 

I was a red man one time,

But the white men came.

I was a black man, too,

But the white men came.

They drove me out of the forest.

They took me away from the jungles.

I lost my trees.

I lost my silver moons.

Now they’ve caged me

In the circus of civilization.

Now I herd with the many —

Caged in the circus of civilization.

 

My hope is that the Peoples of every culture, every nation will have a life that is worthy of our history, or sacrifices, our dignity, our caring. Our unique strengths and weaknesses have meaning and make a difference when we think and behave collectively. It is the only thing that will save our humanity.

 

www.paulinehaynes.net

(916) 452-5278

info@paulinehaynes.net

http://twitter.com/coachpauline

https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulinehaynes?

https://www.facebook.com/ShiftHappensPaulineHaynes

 

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My New Book Cover Reveal!

Good Monday Morning !  I hope you guys have been enjoying your summer. I can’t believe it’s the last week of June:) Well, great things have been happening while I’ve been away from Authentic Woman. First off, we celebrated 8 years of woman connection this month….I’m so happy and humbled by your continued support and cheers along the way. We must be doing something right over here, because we have grown to well over 2000 followers and like the every-ready battery, our voices keep growing and growing.

I also want to offer words of encouragement to those of you who sent emails to me, in search of sound insights to living your purpose journey. Thank you for your confidence in my services! I hope you were led to clarity and possibility. Reawakening to becoming will stir within us; negative fears, anguish and lack of confidence in our ability to choose wisely. I feel that it’s important for women to form a relationship with someone they can trust; be it a mentor, a life coach or authentic friend who has been there and done that and is available to help you get to a place of understanding your “why.” Everyone needs someone in their corner who will help them discover their unique and God given gifts. Trust and believe, we all have GIFTS!

Here’s more exciting news I’m sharing today. It’s the cover to my new book, Unleash Your Pearls Empowering Women Voices!

WzW-Unlease Your Pearls CoverI want women (and the men who support and love them) to have a tangible and easy access guide they can leave at their bedside for night reading or carry in their purse for an instant reminder of  who they are and why they are. This book was written to champion the authentic voice in you and in me. I wrote it to always remind us of the power we wield in speaking our truths and standing in our ‘woman” purpose, without fear of any negative backlash. It’s time women worldwide, take accountability and stand for something that could impact the life of another.

In the following weeks, I will share changes that’s about to happen with Authentic Woman and provide you with more information on the release of Unleash Your Pearls

I hope you all experience a joyful summer and always treat yourself special.