PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE ~ by Pauline Haynes

“Use your influence to help others”

Good morning, women of purpose! I’m happy to reconnect with all of your amazing voices. I appreciate, honor and heart you all! Today, I bring you an empowering, authentic and trans-formative message from one of the most influential life coaches in the universe. Please welcome back to Authentic Woman, my authentic camaraderie in arms, Ms. Pauline Haynes!



Every one of us is unique and totally irreplaceable. We have all had connections with people, places, things, and experiences. No matter how much we try, each individual has his or her own take on the story or stories, even if two people were present at the same occasion/occurrence.


The word authenticity has been so seemingly over-used, but it is a beautiful word that aptly describes who we are. It helps to differentiate you from me and vice versa.

Or, as in “I am the Walrus,” the popular Beatles song


“I am he as you are he as you are me

And we are all together.”


We are together, and we are different. Singular. Unique. One of a kind gem. No two alike. Our claim to authenticity!


As I celebrate a birthday, embarking on another chapter of my life, I am flooded with memories. Some clear, some lacking in details, while others flow like a montage of unconnected experiences in my life.


Certainly I am more than pleased to be at the ripe age of maturity (some would say old). In fact it wasn’t so long ago that I thought of this age (my age) as old. Old is a state of mind, a way of being. My chronological age is keeping tabs on my psychological, mental, physical and emotional age, and the winner is a draw, depending on the day.


That is why I have to dig deeper to find, honor, respect and appreciate the essence of this woman. This authentic being – me!


There is such a rush as I write those words. It makes me humble to be alive. Right here, right now. Yes. I have stories to tell!


I may share some of the memories, but this is not strictly meandering down memory lane. There are some memories I still prefer to keep to myself (and will). If you’ve lived as long as I have, you better have some experiences you want to keep”mum.”


What surfaces as I consider my life, is not the details of my teenage and young adulthood, but the occurrences on a worldwide scale and its impact on us right now.


My personal life does not have worldwide interest or impact. I  have no claim to fame. Sharing some of my personal experiences have  (in tiny ways) touched some, and maybe as you read this, you also may feel or experience some slight impact.


One does not have to be speaking before an audience, or command the ears/attention of millions to have impact. Presence is enough. Integrity and intentionality. The impact is what you choose to do with that presence.


I have developed a certain grace and humility, even though that can also exhibit anger and outrage (depending on the circumstances). The humility allows me to connect to my breath, which allows me to connect to my body, which connects me to my thoughts, my surroundings, my behavior;  and so the ripple continues. The connection of me to the earth, to you and on and on.


When I am in my presence, and I am aware, I can have an impact. I speak differently. I hear differently. I respond differently. I behave differently. I am in reverence of all that is alive, true, perfect and sacred. I respect me more and I respect you more.


I honor life! I am authentic.


There are some “firsts” for me that are memorable in a nostalgic way, while others are purely sentimental. Neither is good or bad. They simply are.


In bringing two children into this world, they are both firsts. My first-born was a boy, and my second born was a girl. The first. The only. They are memorable and nostalgic all rolled into a bundle of everlasting love.


Seeing the birth of my first grand child was overwhelming, exciting, magnificent and awe-inspiring. Giving birth is not the same as seeing a birth.


I remember the first time I was kissed by a boy, It was uneventful, and I’m not sure why I remember it. The memory is vague, but present.


I remember the first time I set foot in England. It was cold, dreary, foggy, and it was a new experience, coupled with the old. I was reunited with my mother. I also remember the first time I arrived in San Francisco. It reminded me of the TV series “The Streets of San Francisco.” I was awed by how large everything was. The Golden Gate bridge was luminous through the fog, and it made me smile.


I could go on for a while, but these are my memories, and I appreciate your indulgence.


We are currently embroiled in political bantering, narcissism, grandstanding, holier-than-thou-ism, deplorable and despicable words and behavior ism. Lies and half-truths, and more lies. This is a part of the present as the two-party system pits Hilary Rodham Clinton (D) and Donald John Trump (R) against each other. They vie for the hearts, votes and respect of the American people – to become the next president of the United States.


The shenanigans are not pretty.


This time in politics, is following on the historical footsteps of the creation of these United States. The true colors of hatred and dissent are more visible and pronounced than the caring and concern that individuals who gave their lives in the Civil Rights movement fought for. This country came about through some unsavory actions.


The turning backwards is giving us the opportunity to examine our souls and our intentions. Perhaps it’s even allowing us to get to know the real history of this country and its people.


Singularly, authentically and collectively – serious examination is called for.


Barak Husain Obama has been the first elected black president of the United States, and his eight-year tenure has not been an easy one. President Obama and first lady Michele Obama have governed with dignity, grace under fire, and have endured the insults, slurs, disrespect and  every imaginable obstacle that has been thrown their way. They have certainly not done everything right.


As two people with their hearts rooted in our African culture, they have not only survived, they are thriving! I share Langston Hughes’ “Lament for Dark Peoples” which gives a little perspective on the foregoing. It is as pertinent now, as when it was penned by Mr Hughes years ago:


I was a red man one time,

But the white men came.

I was a black man, too,

But the white men came.

They drove me out of the forest.

They took me away from the jungles.

I lost my trees.

I lost my silver moons.

Now they’ve caged me

In the circus of civilization.

Now I herd with the many —

Caged in the circus of civilization.


My hope is that the Peoples of every culture, every nation will have a life that is worthy of our history, or sacrifices, our dignity, our caring. Our unique strengths and weaknesses have meaning and make a difference when we think and behave collectively. It is the only thing that will save our humanity.

(916) 452-5278




Don’t Let Others Take Your Kindness For Weakness

picture-452 pond Happy Monday, women of truth! But, wait, did y’all happen to notice how warm today is? Know what that means, right? Yep, time to escape the busyness of life and make those vacay or family reunion plans. This picture is one taken of a prior family gathering where we tackled cabin living. Now, there’s a challenge for even this country girl. I enjoyed the trees, trails, water, fish and the long fishing dock extending over the lake. Experiencing the ambiance of Mother Nature close up and personal is awesome. Just not so much when the little uninvited creatures and neighbors of the woods want to come over to introduce themselves:)

My message today is about having compassion and kindness for others; your fellow-man woman and child. It’s also about being of service without feeling taken advantage of. I want people reading this post to come away armed with the  knowledge that you can be kind and show compassion and empathy for others, but you should never allow anyone to take your kindness for weakness! In the words of Tupac Shakur; “You feel me?”…

(Aside) Sista Afeni Shakur, have got to be spitting out lyrical messages of love and light, accompanied by the hip hop rapper that is Tupac Shakur, her only son~ the two of them grooving together somewhere in the heavens. May they rest in peace.

Don’t Let Others Take Your Compassion And Kindness For Weakness

Okay, so, How you living? Are you being kind to others? Are you a compassionate person? Contrary to popular belief, kindness and compassion for your fellow-man/woman doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you allow others to use your kindness and generosity to their advantage. If you feel that you’re being used because of who you are or what you know and what you’ve been called to do, you must step up and nix that user’s preconceived notion in the bud! Let folks know you are not going to tolerate their callous expectations. Whoever your offenders are and they could be siblings, your children,  mom, dad or even your significant others; you have to stop the madness by letting them know you’re not the one!

Self–preservation is one of the rules of life. And there will come a time where your kindness in the service of others will leave you feeling overwhelmed and depleted, whether financially, physically, socially or emotionally. When you recognize that folks have made your kindness their agenda for their own advancement, it’s your cue to cut the ties that bind.

When I think of compassion, I think of my mother. She had such a kindness about her when it came to making others feel welcome and important. This need to make things better for another person and somehow set things right by doing what she could to put them at ease and not feel different or less than, understandably, endeared me to my mom.. My mother offered compassion and kindness without expectation. This was an empowering and mirrored reflection in the eyes of a child. My mother’s compassion remains one of the biggest influences from my childhood observations. In our compassion for others, we know “There but for the grace of God…

I believe that a child’s compassion for humanity is taught through observation. I saw how my mother treated elderly folks-the respect and offering she held for a homeless man whom she took in, cooked for and feed at her table.

With compassion comes an inner knowing that all people are special in the eyes of God and no one should be treated unfairly, just because they’re different in gender, age, color or religious beliefs. It is not for us to judge. I am driven by my beliefs that involves caring for the rights of others. I thank my parents for raising my sibling and me with a foundation built on faith, equality, morals, values, humility, respect and compassion.

Now, there have been times in my life where others have taken my kindness for weakness and have taken advantage of my soul services. That is why I’m so fortunate to have people in my corner to remind me that saying “no” sometimes will keep me strong, focused and perceptive in my sowing seeds in the service of others. Compassion can be exhausting when you’re being taken advantage of.  And no one wants to feel used. Make sure you use your gift for those who truly deserves and need it.

Always treat yourself special.

If you feel the call to share with us at Authentic Woman, please do. There is healing in the sharing…


Three Keys To Possibility




Happy Monday, women of purpose! I’ve been going over my notes for today’s’ post and I wanted to write about the  power of possibility. Life offers you a myriad of possibilities and opportunities. But, we have to stay optimistic, even through the setbacks and discouragement we’re bound to face. Remember Rome wasn’t built-in a day. And you will find success in your chosen endeavors. The three p’s I always incorporate into the healing phase of my purpose life, includes the resilience and comforting effects of constant prayer; putting into practice those things I believe in and persevering through the pain of disappointingly hard times.

thlong pIn the years leading up to my decision to end my career in nursing, my heart knew that the time to leave was inevitable and so I asked God every night to show me, in some small way, that I was on the right path to reclaiming my health, my happiness and ultimately, my life.

Needless to say, the way to my personal and professional redemption has been long and laborious, but I could not have the lifestyle that I have now, if not for prayer, continued practice and perseverance. I needed to remain open to the possibilities that my gifts, talents and skills afforded me. I also embraced the opportunity of more education and practice work that reached beyond the field of healthcare. I needed to share my purpose gifts with the world in the belief that my voice would plant a seed and make a positive difference to someone who needed to reap the harvest.

Where there is life, there is possibility. Where anything’s possible, it is for sure that opportunity will come knocking. I think when change comes into our lives, we automatically think of failure and setback and struggle. But, when we open ourselves to the possibility of something good coming from the muck of despair, the universe hears and opens the path leading to greater growth and prosperity.

Learn to separate your needs from your wants and make prayer your safe harbor. My reality of prayer is the knowing that “The Lord Is My Shepherd!” My faith comes by believing in something greater than myself and that when I pray, my prayers are answered.   When you believe in the power of prayer, the universe opens its spiritual wings to guide your steps.

That higher power we are taught to believe and trust in, is God, the father. Jehovah. Allah and Buddha. That higher power is whatever works in your life to make you spiritually aware and receptive to your blessings. I know that I don’t walk alone because my God got me.

thpurBelieve in yourself, in your dreams and, in your Gods’ gifts that are yours alone. In the words of the late poet, Gwendolyn Brooks, in response to some of my early works, “keep-A-going!” The lesson here? You never give up, even when you face hardship and difficulties.

Don’t give up the battle until you’ve done everything in your power to win the war. I am living proof that when you persevere through the trials and tribulations that comes from living life experiences, your life will be golden.


Stay optimistic and strong and always treat yourself special!

A Simple Reminder…

thgutI have a simple reminder for you on this blessed Monday. It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are,  what color you are or where you come from; You can still become everything God created you to be.

Trust your intuitive gut and aspire to make your dreams a reality.






Always remember to “treat yourself special.”

Answering To Your Soul Purpose


Good Monday Morning to all women walking in their authentic truths and to those of you who fear leaving your comfort zone and taking risks on your truth journey to “Becoming.”

I am physically rested, spiritually restored,mind fully rejuvenated and purposefully invested in helping women reawaken to their authentic soul purpose!  Your journey to authenticity is not mine and mine is not yours, but we are linked as human beings united in the woman story of life.

Do you know your soul purpose? Are you willing to do the work to find out what you are called to do?

This journey that calls you to step up and live on purpose is one of free will and remains your decision.

While I was away, I was consumed with understanding and connecting back to my authentic “purpose.” I spent my days praying, meditating, writing and inviting “Purpose” to reveal itself to me through God’s everlasting grace.

When I received an email from a young woman named Mary, thanking me for my inspiring messages and asking for advice on how to proceed in her mission to advocate against obesity, I asked Mary to share her concerns.

Mary knows she’s on a journey of change. She’s aware of her purpose, but, Mary is doubtful and fearful and on the fence about stepping outside of her comfort zone.

With Mary’s permission, I want to share part of our conversation, in hopes that it opens dialogue for women to change the way they think. We all have a mission to achieve great things and to do something no one else can do. When you step into your ‘soul’ purpose, you will experience the beauty of life’s positive abundance on your journey to making a difference.

No matter what you are going through, you can walk through the roadblock of fear each and every time and become happier, healthier and successful on your chosen purpose journey.


Mary- Thanks for being an inspiration to me. I would like to start blogging about encouraging others how to overcome obesity. How do you get a jump-start on blogging?

Me-I encourage you to start sharing your passion & what is now your purpose (one of perhaps many) to help others in the fight against obesity. And you should start by creating a free blog to start sharing with others.

Mary-I sometimes get discouraged because when I talk about the fight for obesity people don’t seem interested. Would you discuss other things? Would you continue to talk about obesity? What do you suggest?

Me-Yes! Continue on in your purpose. But, you should consider starting a blog and build an online following via social media networks. You only have to start sharing your authentic truths and build a community. Why not visit other blogs on obesity to get a feel for how to proceed.

At our last correspondence, Mary had not started a blog. She said fear took over and she was at a loss for words. Mary is at a place in her life that I surpassed years ago. What she needs to understand is that not everyone is going to be open to your passions. Some friends, co-workers, family members and loved ones will even ignore or avoid having the conversation.

Those instances can be frustrating and make you want to give up on talking or sharing your vision with others. I invited Mary to keep in touch, providing a link to my mentoring services in hopes that she claim her passion and purpose.  I will end with words by the wonderfully talented and insightful Cicely Tyson:

“We’re all put on this earth to serve each other.”

The journey to purpose doesn’t stop just because we try to ignore it.

Peace and blessings,


Clara Freeman