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“Use your influence to help others”

Good morning, women of purpose! I’m happy to reconnect with all of your amazing voices. I appreciate, honor and heart you all! Today, I bring you an empowering, authentic and trans-formative message from one of the most influential life coaches in the universe. Please welcome back to Authentic Woman, my authentic camaraderie in arms, Ms. Pauline Haynes!

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PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE

Every one of us is unique and totally irreplaceable. We have all had connections with people, places, things, and experiences. No matter how much we try, each individual has his or her own take on the story or stories, even if two people were present at the same occasion/occurrence.

 

The word authenticity has been so seemingly over-used, but it is a beautiful word that aptly describes who we are. It helps to differentiate you from me and vice versa.

Or, as in “I am the Walrus,” the popular Beatles song

 

“I am he as you are he as you are me

And we are all together.”

 

We are together, and we are different. Singular. Unique. One of a kind gem. No two alike. Our claim to authenticity!

 

As I celebrate a birthday, embarking on another chapter of my life, I am flooded with memories. Some clear, some lacking in details, while others flow like a montage of unconnected experiences in my life.

 

Certainly I am more than pleased to be at the ripe age of maturity (some would say old). In fact it wasn’t so long ago that I thought of this age (my age) as old. Old is a state of mind, a way of being. My chronological age is keeping tabs on my psychological, mental, physical and emotional age, and the winner is a draw, depending on the day.

 

That is why I have to dig deeper to find, honor, respect and appreciate the essence of this woman. This authentic being – me!

 

There is such a rush as I write those words. It makes me humble to be alive. Right here, right now. Yes. I have stories to tell!

 

I may share some of the memories, but this is not strictly meandering down memory lane. There are some memories I still prefer to keep to myself (and will). If you’ve lived as long as I have, you better have some experiences you want to keep”mum.”

 

What surfaces as I consider my life, is not the details of my teenage and young adulthood, but the occurrences on a worldwide scale and its impact on us right now.

 

My personal life does not have worldwide interest or impact. I  have no claim to fame. Sharing some of my personal experiences have  (in tiny ways) touched some, and maybe as you read this, you also may feel or experience some slight impact.

 

One does not have to be speaking before an audience, or command the ears/attention of millions to have impact. Presence is enough. Integrity and intentionality. The impact is what you choose to do with that presence.

 

I have developed a certain grace and humility, even though that can also exhibit anger and outrage (depending on the circumstances). The humility allows me to connect to my breath, which allows me to connect to my body, which connects me to my thoughts, my surroundings, my behavior;  and so the ripple continues. The connection of me to the earth, to you and on and on.

 

When I am in my presence, and I am aware, I can have an impact. I speak differently. I hear differently. I respond differently. I behave differently. I am in reverence of all that is alive, true, perfect and sacred. I respect me more and I respect you more.

 

I honor life! I am authentic.

 

There are some “firsts” for me that are memorable in a nostalgic way, while others are purely sentimental. Neither is good or bad. They simply are.

 

In bringing two children into this world, they are both firsts. My first-born was a boy, and my second born was a girl. The first. The only. They are memorable and nostalgic all rolled into a bundle of everlasting love.

 

Seeing the birth of my first grand child was overwhelming, exciting, magnificent and awe-inspiring. Giving birth is not the same as seeing a birth.

 

I remember the first time I was kissed by a boy, It was uneventful, and I’m not sure why I remember it. The memory is vague, but present.

 

I remember the first time I set foot in England. It was cold, dreary, foggy, and it was a new experience, coupled with the old. I was reunited with my mother. I also remember the first time I arrived in San Francisco. It reminded me of the TV series “The Streets of San Francisco.” I was awed by how large everything was. The Golden Gate bridge was luminous through the fog, and it made me smile.

 

I could go on for a while, but these are my memories, and I appreciate your indulgence.

 

We are currently embroiled in political bantering, narcissism, grandstanding, holier-than-thou-ism, deplorable and despicable words and behavior ism. Lies and half-truths, and more lies. This is a part of the present as the two-party system pits Hilary Rodham Clinton (D) and Donald John Trump (R) against each other. They vie for the hearts, votes and respect of the American people – to become the next president of the United States.

 

The shenanigans are not pretty.

 

This time in politics, is following on the historical footsteps of the creation of these United States. The true colors of hatred and dissent are more visible and pronounced than the caring and concern that individuals who gave their lives in the Civil Rights movement fought for. This country came about through some unsavory actions.

 

The turning backwards is giving us the opportunity to examine our souls and our intentions. Perhaps it’s even allowing us to get to know the real history of this country and its people.

 

Singularly, authentically and collectively – serious examination is called for.

 

Barak Husain Obama has been the first elected black president of the United States, and his eight-year tenure has not been an easy one. President Obama and first lady Michele Obama have governed with dignity, grace under fire, and have endured the insults, slurs, disrespect and  every imaginable obstacle that has been thrown their way. They have certainly not done everything right.

 

As two people with their hearts rooted in our African culture, they have not only survived, they are thriving! I share Langston Hughes’ “Lament for Dark Peoples” which gives a little perspective on the foregoing. It is as pertinent now, as when it was penned by Mr Hughes years ago:

 

I was a red man one time,

But the white men came.

I was a black man, too,

But the white men came.

They drove me out of the forest.

They took me away from the jungles.

I lost my trees.

I lost my silver moons.

Now they’ve caged me

In the circus of civilization.

Now I herd with the many —

Caged in the circus of civilization.

 

My hope is that the Peoples of every culture, every nation will have a life that is worthy of our history, or sacrifices, our dignity, our caring. Our unique strengths and weaknesses have meaning and make a difference when we think and behave collectively. It is the only thing that will save our humanity.

 

www.paulinehaynes.net

(916) 452-5278

info@paulinehaynes.net

http://twitter.com/coachpauline

https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulinehaynes?

https://www.facebook.com/ShiftHappensPaulineHaynes

 

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Happy Monday, visionaries! I love what I do. I love helping to empower the voice in other women on their personal path to ‘becoming.’  Apparently, judging from the surge in Authentic Woman followers and such great awesome social media connections, you folks seem to like what I do as well “aww shucks!”:)

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For every one of you who make my purpose possible, thank you. It’s because of all of you that I get to speak my truths and aspire to inspire you to do the same. The wonderful poet and author, Dr. Maya Angelou was spot on when she said,”You know better, you do better.”

I know better and strive to take my mission seat amongst those of honor and influence every single day. Joel Osteen said, “‘You think better, you’ll live better.” All I can say is Amen to that:)

So, thanks a ton to all of you for being the authentic women you are…for recognizing the authentic gifts in others…for shining a light on someone else, just because, and for keeping it real as you are blessed to be a blessing to others. I want to give a super special thank you to my wonderful twitter professionals for adding Authentic Woman to their lists as someone to follow.

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No more excuses, women and men of valor, speak your life and treat yourself better.


thquesHappy MLK Holiday! Okay moms and dads, I know your children are happy to be out of school. Y’all just gotta role with it:) This post is dedicated to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and how his courage under fear and fire changed a world! Yes, Doctor King was a human man who wanted to live a long life, but he was called to carry out his mission by the most high-God and was cut down by hatred’s bullet in the process.

In appreciation for all of those freedom-fighters, known and unknown, I wanted to keep the fires fueling hope, equality and non violence going by penning inspiring quotes from the mouths of visionary men and women whose messages to the masses will touch your heart and fuel your purpose to making a difference in the lives of others:

1.”Dreams have no color” George Lopez

2.”It’s OK to dream at any age” George Lopez

3. “If you live long enough you’ll see everything” Cicely Tyson

4. “You have to let go of the old to receive the new” Joel Osteen

5. “Think of yourself as the next great something because that’s exactly what you are”… Steve Harvey mentoring young men

6. “Rise up and walk your life better not resentful and bitter” Clara Freeman

7. “I believe without laughter there is no point at all!” Lauren Bacall

8. “The day I think that I have made it, I’m finished. I use every single experience, every single day as a day of education. Every single thing that happens in my life; I am the sum total of everything I am”…Cicely Tyson

9. “Patience, Persistence and Perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success” Napoleon Hill

10. “Rise up out of the ashes and grab the something bigger and better to your future.” Joel Osteen speaking from scripture…”God will give you beauty for ashes.”

“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

The movie, “Selma” opened in theaters on January 13th. Dr. Martin Luther King’s Birthday was January 15th.We celebrate his life and legacy on this day, January 19th, 2015 as Marin Luther King Day. If you haven’t seen this movie, please do and take your children to see history in the making.

thkingHave a beautiful MLK holiday!

And always treat yourself special…

 


Happy Monday, women of purpose! As the saying goes, “even a coach needs a coach!” When you’re out here trying to become the best person you can be and share your ‘self’ with the world’s people, including family, friends ,the job, co-workers and loved ones, you know for yourself; sometimes the giver in you can become depleted. It doesn’t matter who you are or where in life you are; whether you are a coach, mentor, consultant, pastor, or Mrs. Jones from the block, the time will come when-you will need a shoulder or listening ear.

I’m excited to introduce you to our guest today! Please join me in welcoming Transformational Life Coach, Author and Poet, Ollie Anderson to Authentic Woman:

1364854997168As women, we are natural caregivers, nurtures by design. It’s simply our DNA. We tend to give and give and GIVE until we have nothing left for ourselves or others. Many of us suffer from burnout. We deal with symptoms of depression, anxiety, insomnia, drug and alcohol abuse, just to name a few. We are fatigued, worn down and just plain worn out. Most of us wear that invisible S on our chest, not because we want to but oft-times because we have to.
We have so many roles; mother, wife, sister, lover, friend, chauffeur, planner, bread-winner, corporate executive, housekeeper, cook, and the list goes on and on.
But what happens when life gets in the way of living? What do you do when mole hills actually turn into mountains that seem insurmountable? Who do you turn to when life becomes overwhelming and you just don’t know what to do? How do you deal with the cares of life when it seems that you’re out of options and there’s no answer in sight?
There are those of us who are able to pull away and get some much-needed rest. We take mini vacations or take a spa day. Some of us rely upon our faith and are refueled that way. Then there are those of us snap. We take our frustrations out on everyone around us or whomever happens to be near us at the time we have simply had

ENOUGH! There are others who feel so overwhelmed that they consider leaving or even worse, committing suicide which is not the option a person in their right frame of mind chooses.
All of the options above, not including suicide, may be viable options. However, might I suggest that any of them, at any time may not prove to be enough to actually help you get back to enjoying life?
We are givers and we want to give to anyone who might need, ask or even indicate that they need our help. Listen closely, I’m not trying to be harsh, but we must understand that though this is an admirable trait to have, it’s not very intelligent! We should give to others from our overflow, not what we have left but the extra, the over and above. The greatest reason being if you are too tired to help yourself, you can’t really effectively help anyone else. Self-care is not a selfish act. It’s really quite the opposite.
A wonderful colleague and peer coach of mine, Ms. Lisa Nichols, says it like this, “You have to learn to say NO. No is a complete sentence that does not require any explanation.” She further goes on to say that exercising your “no” increases the value of your “yes!” In other words, you don’t have to say yes to every request. When you have the confidence to say no when appropriate, people will value your time and your service more when you do say yes. We also have to learn how to delegate responsibilities whenever possible. We really don’t have to do EVERYTHING! Others may not do it the way we do, but surely there is someone who can get the job done. Delegating a task doesn’t indicate that you are lazy or don’t have a handle on things. It says that you are intelligent, you know your boundaries and you have a great sense of control because you trust in the ability of someone else. Will it always work out, no but it will work out enough for you to put things into perspective and have some time to enjoy life!
We have to learn our value as women!

Your main job is to care for you. Even Scripture tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. So, unless I value me, unless I love me, unless I care for me, how can I value, love and care for anyone else?
The act of valuing, caring and loving one’s self also includes being able to ask for help whenever it is needed. There is no shame in needing assistance or support. The shame is in needing it and not asking for it? There are many options available. Take advantage of opportunities right in front of you and find the ones whose availability isn’t quite so obvious. Consider a Life Coach, Therapist, Friend, Minister. Just reach out. Getting help doesn’t mean that you are helpless, it means you know when the tide is high and refuse to keep swimming alone.
So, to answer the question we posed in the title: Who Cares for YOU? The answer is simple. YOU DO!

Bio:

Ollie Anderson began to pen her life’s journey as a form of healing and inspiration for herself. As she chronicled these experiences, through song, poetry and narratives of life events, she discovered her purpose. The joy of sharing her expression of love, life, tragedy and triumph, inspired Ollie to follow her dream of becoming an author and Life Purpose Coach. As a Life Coach she uses the wisdom of life lessons, her intuitive spirit, experience and extensive education to help others succeed in their lives and follow their dreams. Her main goal is to liberate others and support them in their endeavor to live optimal lives. She also desires to die empty by releasing to others everything that God has liberally poured into her. Ollie’s books are FORGIVEN The Cost of the Oil and All Is Well In My World.  Both are available on  her site, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.

Dr. Ollie Anderson, CPC, ELI-MP
Transformational Life Coach
Christian Counselor
Author, Poet
Facebook.com/DrOllieAnderson
Twitter@Agreatlife2day
http://www.Agreatlife2day.com
http://www.yourchristianauthor.com
708-655-1548

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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