“From The Experts,” Special Guest Monica Carter Tagore

Happy November, women warriors! I know you all know the importance of story. I know you get that we have a story inside of us that could possibly help to heal another or change a life. Perhaps, it’s the fear of the unknown or a  fear of suddenly becoming known that is holding you back? My special guest today is an advocate for story. Monica Carter Tagore has authored or ghostwritten more than 45 books and she’s on a mission to help you become the author to your story. Please welcome Monica Carter Tagore to Authentic Woman.


Why your story deserves to be told

Monica Carter Tagore

It’s natural to want to pretend life has always been good.

But this pretense could be robbing you of your greatest service. You see, when you strip back the facade and let your authentic self show up, the story you share just may be the help and hope someone else needs. It may be what they have been searching or praying for.

I have been working for many years to help people find the lessons, blessings, messages, and big ideas in their stories, and to tell them in books. My work has taken on even more urgency this year, as I am now on a breast cancer healing journey. You see, as I looked at my own story, I knew I did not want to hold it tight and away from others. I wanted to share it, so any who desired, could learn or gain from it in some way.

I wrote an inspirational book as I was recovering from chemo and awaiting my mastectomy. That book, the soon-to-be-released Stronger: 31 Inspirational Messages to Get You Through That Tough Time, shares encouragement so readers see a way to keep striving, even in the face of adversity. This book came from my story, as I found inspirational messages so important.

But I am not unique. Each of us has a story, and within that story are lessons, blessings, and messages. For people who are able to see the lessons of their lives, then they have an opportunity — some might even say obligation — to share those lessons.

What you have been through, what you have endured, what you had to learn the hard way matters. You matter. And somebody needs to hear from you so they can get the inspiration, insight, and information they need to keep moving forward. You hold that within your story.

Now, it will take a touch of bravery to do this. After all, sharing your lessons means being willing to share your folly. Your mistakes. Your bad decisions.

Not everybody wants to do that. But if you are willing to share with others the times when your life wasn’t as good as it is now, then it’s time to tell your story. Your story deserves to be told so others can gain knowledge, inspiration, and insight from it.

So how do you do that?

  1. Write a book. Writing a book is a wonderful way to be able to make your experiences count. While there may have been other books written about your topic, none has been written on your experience and with your perspective. In other words, your book hasn’t been written. How you present your experiences and what you learned may be what reaches someone. You may do it in such a way as to shed new light on a subject or connect with your reader in a way others who have written on your topic have not been able to do. There may be people you can reach with your story who may not be able to be reached or helped by anyone else. If you don’t share your story, they may not get the help they need.
  2. Speaking on your topic may be another way to share your story and touch lives. Speaking may be an intimidating activity, but don’t let the intimidation factor hold you back. Speaking can happen in several ways — from the stage, but also via podcasts, videos, webinars, etc. Choose the format that works for you and the message you want to share.
  3. Take to social media. Social media is an amazing use of technology that allows us to connect with others and touch lives all over the planet. Rather than simply sharing insignificant nothings via your social media accounts, maybe it’s time to share your story in updates. You don’t have to make the updates all about you. But you can share updates about statistics related to your experience, and share your insight on what these stats mean. You can share inspirational messages to encourage others dealing with the topic of your experience. You can share tips and strategies for facing the issue you are speaking about on social media.
  4. Starting a blog about your topic may be where your heart leads you. Your experience in dealing with the issue you discuss on the blog is your credibility. You are an expert because you dealt with this issue and overcame it or somehow got to a better point regarding it. Your blog can be a place where you share your story and share insight, coping strategies, and inspiration related to what you cover.

Nobody has to give you permission to share your story. You don’t have to be a celebrity. You don’t have to be wealthy in monetary terms. You don’t have to know everything there is to know about your topic. You are enough, just as you are. You have lived it. Now tell it. Someone else needs to hear it.



Monica Carter Tagore inspires and empowers people to see their true value. She does this in several ways, including the Chase Your Star newsletter and providing mentoring to help people tell their stories in book format. Get her free recording, “How to tell your story — and get noticed,” when you sign up for the Chase Your Star newsletter at http://monicacartertagore.com/newsletter



Twitter @monicatagore

Instagram @monicacartertagore


Thanks to Monica for sharing parts of her own inspirational story with us! If you are holding your story hostage,  consider the importance of telling your story and be that rainbow. Will see y’all back here in December:)





From The Experts: Pauline Haynes

Happy Monday, women of Grace! I have to be honest with y’all because, not only is this the way to go and grow:) but also because I made a promise to myself and to all of you that I would only share messages that serve to uplift, motivate, inspire and empower your authentic voice. I vowed there would be no more “fluff” on my part serving as your purpose advocate.

I wanted the message for today to keep your spirits high and your journey to truth inflamed until we meet again after New Years. Just as I was contemplating on penning such a post, I received an email from my friend, colleague and Life Coach to the people, Ms Pauline Haynes, who sent me greetings, along with an awesome message for all of us to read, meditate on and pay it forward. I declare, this woman and her intuitive sixth-sense at work in sowing seeds of graciousness in service and food for thought! Please join me in welcoming my sista friend and Life Coach, Ms. Pauline Haynes to Authentic Woman!

 PaulineOrangeJacketSmallSaved by Grace, Love in Action
~Pauline Haynes
The Holiday season can be stress-filled because of
expectations. Obligations. Consumerism. Shoulds
and oughts.
Whether your celebrations and beliefs are secular or
religious, there is an impact.
In this time of over indulgence, over spending, there
is the addition of venom spewed by some politicians –
designed to polarize us. The gloom and sadness of
occurrences at home and abroad are real. They have
left us feeling numb. Afraid. Uncertain. Less trusting.
Perhaps it’s even ignited the hidden rage that’s been
buried deep inside of us. You. Me.
Perhaps you realize you are not the kind and loving
person you thought you were.
How have you noticed the change in you? Are you
more cautious? Do you see each person who dresses
a certain way, speaks a certain way, worships a
certain way as a potential enemy? A murderer? What
  • is the profile of a murderer? Do parents deliberately
    raise children to grow up to be killers, or is it part of
    the human condition?
    What will you do about these newly discovered
    traits? Will you stuff them further? Will you act on
    them? Will you speak about them? Will you cross the
    street to speak to that “other/”weird person?” Will
    you be more open? More closed? Will you purchase a
    weapon so you can defend yourself?
    These are all reasonable questions.
    When those thoughts bubble up, it can be an
    opportunity for self-examination.
    What makes you who you are?
    What are you tolerating?
    How do you operate?
    Are you being nice or are you being real?
    What is the difference for you?
    What do you do to avoid feelings?
    What do you do when you’re at your best?
    What are you grateful for?
    What do you fear?
    What do you control?
  • What are you willing to change?
    What do you do for self-care?
    How can you love and pamper myself today?
    How can you be more compassionate?
    As I write, and as you read, I encourage you to dig
    deep with your answers. Personalize and write the
    names of the people in your circle who have passed.
    No matter the circumstances.
    Calling them by name keeps their spirits alive. Honor
    their presence.
    We have been plagued by one tragedy after another,
    murders, mass killings. There will be other tragedies,
    of this we can be sure. There will be more outrage.
    More anger. More sadness. More pontifications. And
    there will also be, yes, more love. More babies being
    born. More successes being celebrated. More
    relationships being formed. More joy. More laughter.
    More forgiveness, and hopefully more peace.
    We need a huge sprinkling of love to bring light into
    our midst, and to lift our spirits. There are some
    things that only you and I are in control of. Our
    thoughts. Our feelings. Our actions.
  • The World has not ended – yet – so we have work to
    do. Hurts to mend. Wrongs to right. Forgiveness of
    ourselves and others. Bold Actions to take for Shift to
    I leave you to ponder the words of a Protestant
    Pastor, Martin Niemoller (1892-1984)
    “First they came for the Socialists,
    and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Socialist.
    Then they came for the Trade Unionists,
    and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
    Then they came for the Jews,
    and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Jew.
    Then they came for me–
    and there was no one left to speak for me.”
    You can substitute Black, White, Hispanic, Asian,
    Muslim, Socialist, Capitalist, Gay, or any group you
  • In the end, it all begins with YOU! My wish for you
    and yours is peace, love, wholeness, health,
    compassion, empathy, LIFE!
  • Pauline Haynes

    (916) 452-5278



    Wow, what a powerful send off for the holidays! Thank you Pauline. Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year to all!

    Always treat yourself special. I will see everyone in the new year 2016!



Guest Post: Who Cares For You?

Happy Monday, women of purpose! As the saying goes, “even a coach needs a coach!” When you’re out here trying to become the best person you can be and share your ‘self’ with the world’s people, including family, friends ,the job, co-workers and loved ones, you know for yourself; sometimes the giver in you can become depleted. It doesn’t matter who you are or where in life you are; whether you are a coach, mentor, consultant, pastor, or Mrs. Jones from the block, the time will come when-you will need a shoulder or listening ear.

I’m excited to introduce you to our guest today! Please join me in welcoming Transformational Life Coach, Author and Poet, Ollie Anderson to Authentic Woman:

1364854997168As women, we are natural caregivers, nurtures by design. It’s simply our DNA. We tend to give and give and GIVE until we have nothing left for ourselves or others. Many of us suffer from burnout. We deal with symptoms of depression, anxiety, insomnia, drug and alcohol abuse, just to name a few. We are fatigued, worn down and just plain worn out. Most of us wear that invisible S on our chest, not because we want to but oft-times because we have to.
We have so many roles; mother, wife, sister, lover, friend, chauffeur, planner, bread-winner, corporate executive, housekeeper, cook, and the list goes on and on.
But what happens when life gets in the way of living? What do you do when mole hills actually turn into mountains that seem insurmountable? Who do you turn to when life becomes overwhelming and you just don’t know what to do? How do you deal with the cares of life when it seems that you’re out of options and there’s no answer in sight?
There are those of us who are able to pull away and get some much-needed rest. We take mini vacations or take a spa day. Some of us rely upon our faith and are refueled that way. Then there are those of us snap. We take our frustrations out on everyone around us or whomever happens to be near us at the time we have simply had

ENOUGH! There are others who feel so overwhelmed that they consider leaving or even worse, committing suicide which is not the option a person in their right frame of mind chooses.
All of the options above, not including suicide, may be viable options. However, might I suggest that any of them, at any time may not prove to be enough to actually help you get back to enjoying life?
We are givers and we want to give to anyone who might need, ask or even indicate that they need our help. Listen closely, I’m not trying to be harsh, but we must understand that though this is an admirable trait to have, it’s not very intelligent! We should give to others from our overflow, not what we have left but the extra, the over and above. The greatest reason being if you are too tired to help yourself, you can’t really effectively help anyone else. Self-care is not a selfish act. It’s really quite the opposite.
A wonderful colleague and peer coach of mine, Ms. Lisa Nichols, says it like this, “You have to learn to say NO. No is a complete sentence that does not require any explanation.” She further goes on to say that exercising your “no” increases the value of your “yes!” In other words, you don’t have to say yes to every request. When you have the confidence to say no when appropriate, people will value your time and your service more when you do say yes. We also have to learn how to delegate responsibilities whenever possible. We really don’t have to do EVERYTHING! Others may not do it the way we do, but surely there is someone who can get the job done. Delegating a task doesn’t indicate that you are lazy or don’t have a handle on things. It says that you are intelligent, you know your boundaries and you have a great sense of control because you trust in the ability of someone else. Will it always work out, no but it will work out enough for you to put things into perspective and have some time to enjoy life!
We have to learn our value as women!

Your main job is to care for you. Even Scripture tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. So, unless I value me, unless I love me, unless I care for me, how can I value, love and care for anyone else?
The act of valuing, caring and loving one’s self also includes being able to ask for help whenever it is needed. There is no shame in needing assistance or support. The shame is in needing it and not asking for it? There are many options available. Take advantage of opportunities right in front of you and find the ones whose availability isn’t quite so obvious. Consider a Life Coach, Therapist, Friend, Minister. Just reach out. Getting help doesn’t mean that you are helpless, it means you know when the tide is high and refuse to keep swimming alone.
So, to answer the question we posed in the title: Who Cares for YOU? The answer is simple. YOU DO!


Ollie Anderson began to pen her life’s journey as a form of healing and inspiration for herself. As she chronicled these experiences, through song, poetry and narratives of life events, she discovered her purpose. The joy of sharing her expression of love, life, tragedy and triumph, inspired Ollie to follow her dream of becoming an author and Life Purpose Coach. As a Life Coach she uses the wisdom of life lessons, her intuitive spirit, experience and extensive education to help others succeed in their lives and follow their dreams. Her main goal is to liberate others and support them in their endeavor to live optimal lives. She also desires to die empty by releasing to others everything that God has liberally poured into her. Ollie’s books are FORGIVEN The Cost of the Oil and All Is Well In My World.  Both are available on  her site, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.

Dr. Ollie Anderson, CPC, ELI-MP
Transformational Life Coach
Christian Counselor
Author, Poet