PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE ~ by Pauline Haynes

“Use your influence to help others”

Good morning, women of purpose! I’m happy to reconnect with all of your amazing voices. I appreciate, honor and heart you all! Today, I bring you an empowering, authentic and trans-formative message from one of the most influential life coaches in the universe. Please welcome back to Authentic Woman, my authentic camaraderie in arms, Ms. Pauline Haynes!



Every one of us is unique and totally irreplaceable. We have all had connections with people, places, things, and experiences. No matter how much we try, each individual has his or her own take on the story or stories, even if two people were present at the same occasion/occurrence.


The word authenticity has been so seemingly over-used, but it is a beautiful word that aptly describes who we are. It helps to differentiate you from me and vice versa.

Or, as in “I am the Walrus,” the popular Beatles song


“I am he as you are he as you are me

And we are all together.”


We are together, and we are different. Singular. Unique. One of a kind gem. No two alike. Our claim to authenticity!


As I celebrate a birthday, embarking on another chapter of my life, I am flooded with memories. Some clear, some lacking in details, while others flow like a montage of unconnected experiences in my life.


Certainly I am more than pleased to be at the ripe age of maturity (some would say old). In fact it wasn’t so long ago that I thought of this age (my age) as old. Old is a state of mind, a way of being. My chronological age is keeping tabs on my psychological, mental, physical and emotional age, and the winner is a draw, depending on the day.


That is why I have to dig deeper to find, honor, respect and appreciate the essence of this woman. This authentic being – me!


There is such a rush as I write those words. It makes me humble to be alive. Right here, right now. Yes. I have stories to tell!


I may share some of the memories, but this is not strictly meandering down memory lane. There are some memories I still prefer to keep to myself (and will). If you’ve lived as long as I have, you better have some experiences you want to keep”mum.”


What surfaces as I consider my life, is not the details of my teenage and young adulthood, but the occurrences on a worldwide scale and its impact on us right now.


My personal life does not have worldwide interest or impact. I  have no claim to fame. Sharing some of my personal experiences have  (in tiny ways) touched some, and maybe as you read this, you also may feel or experience some slight impact.


One does not have to be speaking before an audience, or command the ears/attention of millions to have impact. Presence is enough. Integrity and intentionality. The impact is what you choose to do with that presence.


I have developed a certain grace and humility, even though that can also exhibit anger and outrage (depending on the circumstances). The humility allows me to connect to my breath, which allows me to connect to my body, which connects me to my thoughts, my surroundings, my behavior;  and so the ripple continues. The connection of me to the earth, to you and on and on.


When I am in my presence, and I am aware, I can have an impact. I speak differently. I hear differently. I respond differently. I behave differently. I am in reverence of all that is alive, true, perfect and sacred. I respect me more and I respect you more.


I honor life! I am authentic.


There are some “firsts” for me that are memorable in a nostalgic way, while others are purely sentimental. Neither is good or bad. They simply are.


In bringing two children into this world, they are both firsts. My first-born was a boy, and my second born was a girl. The first. The only. They are memorable and nostalgic all rolled into a bundle of everlasting love.


Seeing the birth of my first grand child was overwhelming, exciting, magnificent and awe-inspiring. Giving birth is not the same as seeing a birth.


I remember the first time I was kissed by a boy, It was uneventful, and I’m not sure why I remember it. The memory is vague, but present.


I remember the first time I set foot in England. It was cold, dreary, foggy, and it was a new experience, coupled with the old. I was reunited with my mother. I also remember the first time I arrived in San Francisco. It reminded me of the TV series “The Streets of San Francisco.” I was awed by how large everything was. The Golden Gate bridge was luminous through the fog, and it made me smile.


I could go on for a while, but these are my memories, and I appreciate your indulgence.


We are currently embroiled in political bantering, narcissism, grandstanding, holier-than-thou-ism, deplorable and despicable words and behavior ism. Lies and half-truths, and more lies. This is a part of the present as the two-party system pits Hilary Rodham Clinton (D) and Donald John Trump (R) against each other. They vie for the hearts, votes and respect of the American people – to become the next president of the United States.


The shenanigans are not pretty.


This time in politics, is following on the historical footsteps of the creation of these United States. The true colors of hatred and dissent are more visible and pronounced than the caring and concern that individuals who gave their lives in the Civil Rights movement fought for. This country came about through some unsavory actions.


The turning backwards is giving us the opportunity to examine our souls and our intentions. Perhaps it’s even allowing us to get to know the real history of this country and its people.


Singularly, authentically and collectively – serious examination is called for.


Barak Husain Obama has been the first elected black president of the United States, and his eight-year tenure has not been an easy one. President Obama and first lady Michele Obama have governed with dignity, grace under fire, and have endured the insults, slurs, disrespect and  every imaginable obstacle that has been thrown their way. They have certainly not done everything right.


As two people with their hearts rooted in our African culture, they have not only survived, they are thriving! I share Langston Hughes’ “Lament for Dark Peoples” which gives a little perspective on the foregoing. It is as pertinent now, as when it was penned by Mr Hughes years ago:


I was a red man one time,

But the white men came.

I was a black man, too,

But the white men came.

They drove me out of the forest.

They took me away from the jungles.

I lost my trees.

I lost my silver moons.

Now they’ve caged me

In the circus of civilization.

Now I herd with the many —

Caged in the circus of civilization.


My hope is that the Peoples of every culture, every nation will have a life that is worthy of our history, or sacrifices, our dignity, our caring. Our unique strengths and weaknesses have meaning and make a difference when we think and behave collectively. It is the only thing that will save our humanity.

(916) 452-5278




From The Experts: Pauline Haynes

Happy Monday, women of Grace! I have to be honest with y’all because, not only is this the way to go and grow:) but also because I made a promise to myself and to all of you that I would only share messages that serve to uplift, motivate, inspire and empower your authentic voice. I vowed there would be no more “fluff” on my part serving as your purpose advocate.

I wanted the message for today to keep your spirits high and your journey to truth inflamed until we meet again after New Years. Just as I was contemplating on penning such a post, I received an email from my friend, colleague and Life Coach to the people, Ms Pauline Haynes, who sent me greetings, along with an awesome message for all of us to read, meditate on and pay it forward. I declare, this woman and her intuitive sixth-sense at work in sowing seeds of graciousness in service and food for thought! Please join me in welcoming my sista friend and Life Coach, Ms. Pauline Haynes to Authentic Woman!

 PaulineOrangeJacketSmallSaved by Grace, Love in Action
~Pauline Haynes
The Holiday season can be stress-filled because of
expectations. Obligations. Consumerism. Shoulds
and oughts.
Whether your celebrations and beliefs are secular or
religious, there is an impact.
In this time of over indulgence, over spending, there
is the addition of venom spewed by some politicians –
designed to polarize us. The gloom and sadness of
occurrences at home and abroad are real. They have
left us feeling numb. Afraid. Uncertain. Less trusting.
Perhaps it’s even ignited the hidden rage that’s been
buried deep inside of us. You. Me.
Perhaps you realize you are not the kind and loving
person you thought you were.
How have you noticed the change in you? Are you
more cautious? Do you see each person who dresses
a certain way, speaks a certain way, worships a
certain way as a potential enemy? A murderer? What
  • is the profile of a murderer? Do parents deliberately
    raise children to grow up to be killers, or is it part of
    the human condition?
    What will you do about these newly discovered
    traits? Will you stuff them further? Will you act on
    them? Will you speak about them? Will you cross the
    street to speak to that “other/”weird person?” Will
    you be more open? More closed? Will you purchase a
    weapon so you can defend yourself?
    These are all reasonable questions.
    When those thoughts bubble up, it can be an
    opportunity for self-examination.
    What makes you who you are?
    What are you tolerating?
    How do you operate?
    Are you being nice or are you being real?
    What is the difference for you?
    What do you do to avoid feelings?
    What do you do when you’re at your best?
    What are you grateful for?
    What do you fear?
    What do you control?
  • What are you willing to change?
    What do you do for self-care?
    How can you love and pamper myself today?
    How can you be more compassionate?
    As I write, and as you read, I encourage you to dig
    deep with your answers. Personalize and write the
    names of the people in your circle who have passed.
    No matter the circumstances.
    Calling them by name keeps their spirits alive. Honor
    their presence.
    We have been plagued by one tragedy after another,
    murders, mass killings. There will be other tragedies,
    of this we can be sure. There will be more outrage.
    More anger. More sadness. More pontifications. And
    there will also be, yes, more love. More babies being
    born. More successes being celebrated. More
    relationships being formed. More joy. More laughter.
    More forgiveness, and hopefully more peace.
    We need a huge sprinkling of love to bring light into
    our midst, and to lift our spirits. There are some
    things that only you and I are in control of. Our
    thoughts. Our feelings. Our actions.
  • The World has not ended – yet – so we have work to
    do. Hurts to mend. Wrongs to right. Forgiveness of
    ourselves and others. Bold Actions to take for Shift to
    I leave you to ponder the words of a Protestant
    Pastor, Martin Niemoller (1892-1984)
    “First they came for the Socialists,
    and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Socialist.
    Then they came for the Trade Unionists,
    and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
    Then they came for the Jews,
    and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Jew.
    Then they came for me–
    and there was no one left to speak for me.”
    You can substitute Black, White, Hispanic, Asian,
    Muslim, Socialist, Capitalist, Gay, or any group you
  • In the end, it all begins with YOU! My wish for you
    and yours is peace, love, wholeness, health,
    compassion, empathy, LIFE!
  • Pauline Haynes

    (916) 452-5278


    Wow, what a powerful send off for the holidays! Thank you Pauline. Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year to all!

    Always treat yourself special. I will see everyone in the new year 2016!