When You’re In Need of a Good Nights’ Sleep

20 Oct

My weekend was more hectic than usual, which affected my sleep. This morning I woke up before dawn with a stiff neck and a sour disposition. But, once I was showered and started on my 2nd cup of java, I felt almost normal:) which got me to thinking about our bodies and how when we don’t get enough sleep, it affects not only our physical well-being, but our mental and emotional state of mind as well.

sleeping-nowI made a note to myself to get back to the practice of  loving myself by caring for myself more. And that means going back to rituals that always lifts my spirits and provides for a good night sleep. I’m not just thinking of myself either. So, I’m paying it forward in hopes some of my tips will remind you to keep loving you from the inside out and also nip those sleepless nights in the bud.

Try these natural ways to introduce yourself to a safe and soothing nighttime sleep:
1. Establish a sleep pattern.  It’s been proven that when we set a routine for going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning, our bodies adjust to the consistency as this regular sleep pattern keeps our biological clock in sync, allowing us to rest better.
2. Avoid stimulants like coffee, teas and cigarettes around bedtime. These things only keep us awake and irritated when we can’t fall asleep.
3. Milk- according to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, there’s a protein naturally found in milk that not only improves your sleep quality, but increases your alertness the following day. Those suffering with lactose intolerance, can choose either soy or lactose free milk components.
4. Do not go to bed hungry, too full from a heavy dinner, or with a full bladder! Do make sure your bladder is fully emptied before going to bed to prevent bloating, indigestion and abdominal discomfort. Also eat a light dinner, with a cut off time from the kitchen snacks around 8-ish. If you’re going to bed on a full stomach, you’ll not only have digestive concerns, but you’ll most likely wake up grumpy and irritated in the morning.
5. My favorite way to get a good night sleep is by incorporating fragrance in my bath and day-to-day routines and frankly felt too beat of late to indulge in… a Calgon girl of old, I ‘m an expert on the benefits of scented baths. Applying light lotions as daily skin moisturizer after an invigorating shower or bath stimulates happy endorphins and ignites your happiness button:) Okay I made that last part up.  I believe it:)

Medically speaking, adding one or two small drops of mild fragrances like lavender, peppermint and jasmine oils to your bath have been proven to lessen insomnia, encourage drowsiness and reduce anxiety and they smell good doing it. These same oils dabbed on key body points like your wrist and neck or used as a scented satchel to place between your pillow and pillow case at night before retiring, can also lull you into a deep and peaceful sleep.
An added bonus for anyone trying to fall asleep naturally, without having to resort to using medicinal sleep aids would be to make your bedroom as comfortable and cozy for sleep as possible. In some instances people prefer to not have a television set in their bedroom because of lighting and noise distractions. A cool, quiet and dimly lit atmosphere in your bedroom reportedly lessens your stress levels and helps to relax you in preparation for a good night’s sleep.

th sleep This is a great time for women of passion and purpose. So always remember to “treat yourself special.”




The Value of “NO”

14 Oct

thvalueGood morning everyone! Sorry I couldn’t greet you all on Monday, but in the midst of doing, I got a visit from Arthur and seemingly, all of his family:) Arthritis sufferers can attest to bones cracking, joints screaming and walking becoming just too painful. And I was obligated to do an interview with actress and producer, Vanessa Bell Calloway.

Due to time differences, Arthur slowing my progress and chores telling me they wasn’t going to take care of themselves, I fell waay behind and couldn’t get to you guys.

I felt bad about that :( but then I was reminded when speaking with Vanessa on how she learned the value of saying “no”, which caused an aha moment for myself. Of course, celebrity lifestyles are far different from regular folks. Nevertheless, Clara got to reread the memo. When you’re stretched like a rubber band and have too much on your plate, remember even Jesus rested!

We cannot be the multitasking Superwoman and Superman or The Flash running around like lightning everyday:) So, keep in mind that it’s okay to say “No. “

Life as you know it, won’t cease to exist and you’ll be better and not bitter come Tuesday morning.  To catch insights about my upcoming interview go here: http://wwwclara54.wordpress.com/2014/10/13/upcoming-interview-with-actress-vanessa-bell-calloway/


As always, “treat yourself special.”



10 Inspirational Moments

6 Oct

th last inspirationGood Monday morning! I hope your days are meaningful and that you aspire to inspire another person. It doesn’t take a lot to inspire me and this morning, I’m inspired by the thought of sharing some of the moments in life that makes me be a better person.

Here are 10 inspirational moments  that lifts me up from feeling stressed, unhappy or anxious. Sometimes we have to take a step back and find that something that makes us smile and not get so mired  in the pain of what the physical world sometimes offer. When we are inspired to do better, we make ourselves feel better.

1.The smiles and laughter of rambunctious and happy children

2. Spiritual teachers whose words resonate deep

3. Reading good books in personal development, fiction, nonfiction and returning to read passages of the Old Testament where “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

th inspire4. Comfort foods. Enough said as I’m always teased by my children and siblings when they ask what I’m doing and I  tell them, “I’m cooking my comfort foods.”

5. Mother Nature. There’s something ethereal in the stillness that accompanies a visit from mother nature. Raindrops,  strong winds, cool breezes, shimmering beaches, sunshine, flowers, snowstorms, sunsets and sunrises, birds chirping, branches on trees swaying in the gentleness of a summer breeze or the fury of a winter’s storm; it’s all awe-inspiring.

6. Family gatherings, whether we’re bickering, gossiping or debating, nothing can compare to that bond of family, well, almost nothing:)

7. Man of character. Brings the  image of a Stetson man with intellect, who smells good and wears his integrity well. Who can go wrong with that?

8. A Woman empowered is a testament to that sister bond whose purposeful intent comes from a platform based on love and is focused on breaking barriers, lifting voices and shining in a world that was once deemed only for the ” good ole boys” ideal of leadership, ownership and equality that every human being should have access to, regardless of who we are or where we come from.

th kitten

9. Reaping the benefits of my harvest from referrals, lifestyle sustainability and trust in my services

10. My service work


Remember to always “treat yourself special”



Loving Hands

29 Sep

Happy Monday, warrior women! I woke up this morning thinking about the hand dream I’d had and feeling that I’d missed the moment to write the poem that was streaming in the realm of my subconscious awareness. So, I’m just going to capture what was the essence of my dream:

th mom handsHands:

I thought about my hands

“Grandma’s hands go to work on Sunday mornings. Grandma’s hands picked me up each time I fell”

I loved that song by Bill Withers and it was jamming in my mind and for whatever reason it caused me to rejoice in my soul as my fingers took to the keyboards this morning. My thoughts turned to mothers, grandmothers, aunts and cousins, sisters and friends, who are loved and have been mothers who love .


My mother’s hands are the hands of the caregiver, who soothes a broken limb, a bee sting and a fall from grace. My mother’s hands brings comfort to those who are overwhelmed, sitting in a Sunday Church service. My mother stands ready to serve with comforting hands.


th lovin handsEven though ole Arthur (arthritis) tried to intervene in my joy of spending time with my granddaughter over the weekend, I pushed him away until the next time , in favor of creating memorable life moments with my daughter’s child whose wail of protest was that “grandma” was feeding her too much! :)

My mother’s hands cooks nourishing meal, cleans, wipes away tears. My mother’s hands brings life to her children who will continue the legacy of her compassionate hands.

It’s all about LOVE.

Hands are God’s creative instrument of connection to our soul purpose for being. Your hands are the linkage to the women in the world passed down through generations of mothers who smile someplace on high from the Heavens. I am humbled by loves’ promise that gathers in the midst of a Fall harvest…

thbil hands“Treat yourself special.”

Guest Post: Who Cares For You?

22 Sep

Happy Monday, women of purpose! As the saying goes, “even a coach needs a coach!” When you’re out here trying to become the best person you can be and share your ‘self’ with the world’s people, including family, friends ,the job, co-workers and loved ones, you know for yourself; sometimes the giver in you can become depleted. It doesn’t matter who you are or where in life you are; whether you are a coach, mentor, consultant, pastor, or Mrs. Jones from the block, the time will come when-you will need a shoulder or listening ear.

I’m excited to introduce you to our guest today! Please join me in welcoming Transformational Life Coach, Author and Poet, Ollie Anderson to Authentic Woman:

1364854997168As women, we are natural caregivers, nurtures by design. It’s simply our DNA. We tend to give and give and GIVE until we have nothing left for ourselves or others. Many of us suffer from burnout. We deal with symptoms of depression, anxiety, insomnia, drug and alcohol abuse, just to name a few. We are fatigued, worn down and just plain worn out. Most of us wear that invisible S on our chest, not because we want to but oft-times because we have to.
We have so many roles; mother, wife, sister, lover, friend, chauffeur, planner, bread-winner, corporate executive, housekeeper, cook, and the list goes on and on.
But what happens when life gets in the way of living? What do you do when mole hills actually turn into mountains that seem insurmountable? Who do you turn to when life becomes overwhelming and you just don’t know what to do? How do you deal with the cares of life when it seems that you’re out of options and there’s no answer in sight?
There are those of us who are able to pull away and get some much-needed rest. We take mini vacations or take a spa day. Some of us rely upon our faith and are refueled that way. Then there are those of us snap. We take our frustrations out on everyone around us or whomever happens to be near us at the time we have simply had

ENOUGH! There are others who feel so overwhelmed that they consider leaving or even worse, committing suicide which is not the option a person in their right frame of mind chooses.
All of the options above, not including suicide, may be viable options. However, might I suggest that any of them, at any time may not prove to be enough to actually help you get back to enjoying life?
We are givers and we want to give to anyone who might need, ask or even indicate that they need our help. Listen closely, I’m not trying to be harsh, but we must understand that though this is an admirable trait to have, it’s not very intelligent! We should give to others from our overflow, not what we have left but the extra, the over and above. The greatest reason being if you are too tired to help yourself, you can’t really effectively help anyone else. Self-care is not a selfish act. It’s really quite the opposite.
A wonderful colleague and peer coach of mine, Ms. Lisa Nichols, says it like this, “You have to learn to say NO. No is a complete sentence that does not require any explanation.” She further goes on to say that exercising your “no” increases the value of your “yes!” In other words, you don’t have to say yes to every request. When you have the confidence to say no when appropriate, people will value your time and your service more when you do say yes. We also have to learn how to delegate responsibilities whenever possible. We really don’t have to do EVERYTHING! Others may not do it the way we do, but surely there is someone who can get the job done. Delegating a task doesn’t indicate that you are lazy or don’t have a handle on things. It says that you are intelligent, you know your boundaries and you have a great sense of control because you trust in the ability of someone else. Will it always work out, no but it will work out enough for you to put things into perspective and have some time to enjoy life!
We have to learn our value as women!

Your main job is to care for you. Even Scripture tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. So, unless I value me, unless I love me, unless I care for me, how can I value, love and care for anyone else?
The act of valuing, caring and loving one’s self also includes being able to ask for help whenever it is needed. There is no shame in needing assistance or support. The shame is in needing it and not asking for it? There are many options available. Take advantage of opportunities right in front of you and find the ones whose availability isn’t quite so obvious. Consider a Life Coach, Therapist, Friend, Minister. Just reach out. Getting help doesn’t mean that you are helpless, it means you know when the tide is high and refuse to keep swimming alone.
So, to answer the question we posed in the title: Who Cares for YOU? The answer is simple. YOU DO!


Ollie Anderson began to pen her life’s journey as a form of healing and inspiration for herself. As she chronicled these experiences, through song, poetry and narratives of life events, she discovered her purpose. The joy of sharing her expression of love, life, tragedy and triumph, inspired Ollie to follow her dream of becoming an author and Life Purpose Coach. As a Life Coach she uses the wisdom of life lessons, her intuitive spirit, experience and extensive education to help others succeed in their lives and follow their dreams. Her main goal is to liberate others and support them in their endeavor to live optimal lives. She also desires to die empty by releasing to others everything that God has liberally poured into her. Ollie’s books are FORGIVEN The Cost of the Oil and All Is Well In My World.  Both are available on  her site, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.

Ollie Anderson, CPC, ELI-MP
Transformational Life Coach
Author, Poet









Regular Women Can Become Champions

15 Sep

f04da2db1122143adac462 When I was growing up under the hostile environment of a Southern Jim Crow in the 50s and 60s, my one thought was that someday I would leave that place and find my own place in the world where I would use my voice to speak for the “underdog”; those people who were treated unfairly and dismissed in the world as being insignificant and inconsequential. What I’ve realized after over 4 decades of helping others bring awareness to the importance of stepping up and speaking out against injustice in any shape, form or fashion, is this:

The freedom to” be” war rages on as children are crying in the streets for a safe place to run and play in many underprivileged inner city neighborhoods. They are forgotten by the economic greed system of government that robs them of their schools, access to healthy foods and healthcare and steals the joy in their souls as they watch the helpless frustration on the faces of their parents who become victimized by media reports, workplace minimum wage and police brutality. Women voices are so critically needed in the fray of what truth living is truly about in our cities and on our Urban streets.

Marcie Hill of http://www.marciewrites.com/, spends a lot of time on the south-side of Chicago, hosting workshops for school children and their parents on the ins and outs of social media use that’s so important in the world of technology.  She also shares insights that the media omits in television news about positive happenings in the inner city via her www.goshorty.net blog.

Vau’ve Anais Davis of OfficialAnaisPR, offers her services and volunteers with several urban organizations to make a difference in the lives of others. She works with a West-side Chicago restaurant that cooks delicious and nutritious meals on a daily basis to help feed the hungry on Chicago streets. The restaurant “TurkeyChop”, located at 3506 West Chicago Ave, is open Monday through Sunday noon to 3pm. Interested parties please call (773) 384-2500 for information on hot healthy meals.

I became aware of Nina Thomas Pendleton of Nina Motivates and the work she does with children after a Facebook connect. Nina is a young woman who uses her faith in her business as CEO of T.O.U.C.H. where her inspirational ministry “Touching Others Using Christ Help” is the motivation behind the classes  she teaches on self-esteem, love for God-given gifts and self value. I’m really encouraged with the work Nina does with teens and preteens, as well as adults. Motivating others to recognize and embrace their gifts is the recurring and positive message behind Nina Motivates U.

There are many women whose voices make a difference in the lives of others. These women are ordinary folks with families, struggles and challenges. Women with a fire in their souls that burns with an innate passion and purpose that continues to push them forward in their mission to accomplishing small steps leading to doing great things. Everyone working hard to make a positive change deserves to be recognized for their contributions to society’s people.

My purpose is to bring women voices to Authentic Woman that will inspire other women to step up and step out of fear and sameness and step into the power and glory of living out their passion and purpose, make a difference, provide a living for themselves and their families, walk in their truths and pay it forward in authenticity and gratitude.

Women of authenticity,you don’t have to be famous to be a champion.


From the Author of The Alchemist: “Listen To Your Heart”

8 Sep

Happy Monday, warrior women of essence. I hope you all have a great week fueled by passion, compassion, service and an abundance of blessings! This journey to wholeness was never promised to be a bed of roses. We are spiritual beings living a human existence and so we are in constant need of spiritual replenishing. I don’t know how you do it, but I do it by Bible, through the stillness of mother nature, prayer, practice, meditation, readings and daily doses of motivation by way of my inbox from spiritual teachers around the globe.

the_alchemist1I remember bypassing the purchase of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, years ago, for whatever reason. After hearing him speak as a guest on Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday, this book is definitely on my to-do book list.:)  I wanted to share some “heart” quotes from The Alchemist  author that resonated with me. If you have read this inspirational guide, please share your experiences in the comments section with us as well.


When you want something all the universe will conspire to help you get it.

You’re always guided to meet the right person at the right moment-

God is going to ask you only one question; did you love enough?

Find the courage to follow your dreams, regardless of your fears.

I can give you ten thousand explanations of why we’re here but there is no good explanation- it is a mystery.

“I’m not ready is just an excuse”

You only learn the language of the world by making mistakes

Look at everything like you’re seeing it for the first time and you learn.

Oprah Winfrey confessed  her fear of not fulfilling what she knows is her supreme potential.

Paulo Coelho’s response was  “Don’t give in to your fears, if you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”

Always listen to your heart even when it scares you.

Do you have the courage to listen to your heart?



Guest Post: Empowering Ourselves to Overcome Abuse

1 Sep

Happy Labor Day, Monday! I just wanted to sleep in this morning because the weather in Illinois is teasing me into a peaceful day of slumber and relaxation, but duty calls and I’m preparing for whatever the day might bring. I know from experience that living life experiences can sometimes knock us down and if we’re not vigilant on who we are and whose we are, we might continue to exist in a life that we don’t love ; a life that we think we’re unable to change and so feel like we’re ‘stuck’  in misery and sameness. Don’t believe the hype! You can make your life better through choice and action!

KP_003Kathleen Pooler is a victim of domestic abuse. She, unlike many women, made a choice to take back her power. She has written a memoir about her struggles and triumph out of domestic abuse. I invite women voices to Authentic Woman to serve as a beacon of hope for other women voices… Kathy’s story will inspire other women of abuse with renewed hope and purpose for their own lives.

Empowering Ourselves to Overcome Abuse

I spent the first eighteen years of my life in a loving, supportive family. My parents, Bob and Kathryn were childhood sweethearts who modeled a caring and respectful relationship. I went out into the world fully expecting I would find the same in a spouse. It was all I knew—stability, security, love.

The problem was I didn’t discern the red flags and assumed the man I chose to marry would fulfill my fantasy of happily ever after. Like my parents, “till death do you part.” Eight years later, with two young children in tow, I repeated the mistake and married a man to meet my gnawing need to be a complete family again.

I had everything I needed to make a good life for myself. Instead, I spent the next twenty-five years engulfed in the abyss of two abusive marriages, first to a man who drank too much then to a man whose untreated bipolar disorder forced me to flee in broad daylight with my two school aged children for fear of physical abuse.

I had allowed myself to be emotionally abused, bullied and brainwashed all for the sake of being a family, like my own. How had I allowed that to happen?

I explore the factors that influenced me to make these self-defeating choices in my upcoming memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse.

Walking away required me to look at myself and accept the mistakes and missteps of my past. It forced me to come face-to-face with my vulnerabilities and flaws.

Writing my memoir helped me to heal. I found the answers to a question that had nagged at me for years:

“How does a young woman from a loving Catholic family, make so many wise choices about her career but so many poor choices about love that she ends up escaping in broad daylight with her two children from her second husband for fear of physical abuse?”

I never thought of myself as the abused wife. I studied domestic violence in my nursing program. I took care of patients who were abused. I was a strong and capable woman. Surely, I wasn’t one of those women who keep making excuses for a spouse’s outrageous behavior. Besides, I didn’t have broken bones or bruises.

Years later, I realized, abuse in any form is abuse:

*One does not have to sustain physical injury to be abused. Emotional abuse in the form of intimidation, bullying, safety threats, lying is harmful and the impact on the children of mothers who are in abusive relationships is far-reaching and damaging.

* Abuse impacts all socioeconomic groups. I was a masters-prepared nurse from
a loving family and yet I got into two emotionally abusive marriages.

*Denial and magical thinking can keep one from recognizing abusive behavior and taking action.

*Emotional abuse can lead to physical abuse. According to the National
Coalition of Domestic Violence Awareness, “One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime; 1.3 million women are victims of
physical assault by an intimate partner each year; Most cases of domestic violence are never reported.”

These are staggering statistics of epidemic proportion.

I was able to rescue myself from two abusive marriages. The first thing I had to do was to break through the denial that my life was not what I had dreamed it would be. Then I had to take responsibility for the role I had played in allowing abuse to happen. I had to make the conscious decision to change the way I was approaching relationships and choices. I had to claim the power within and then once I claimed it, I had to honor it.

My greatest hope is that by offering my insights into the poor decisions I made will help others learn from my story. I found my inner strength through my faith in God and the love and support of my family and friends. My nursing career enabled me to support myself and my children.

Abuse is abuse in any form and nobody deserves to be trapped in an abusive relationship.

I want to inspire hope and action for my readers who need to tap into their own inner strength and find freedom from abuse of any kind.

Once we are connected to our own inner strength, we empower ourselves to live life on our own terms. For me that meant, allowing myself to be vulnerable and admitting my role in creating the circumstances that led to two emotionally abusive marriages. When I became clear on the part I was playing, I was able to not only accept the responsibility to change, but to forgive myself and put my energies into creating the life I wanted and deserved. To me, that is empowerment at its best.


Kathleen Pooler is an author and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner whose memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, published on July 28.2014 and work-in-progress sequel, Hope Matters: A Memoir are about how the power of hope through her faith in God helped her to transform, heal and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments: domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.

She lives with her husband Wayne in eastern New York.

She blogs weekly at her Memoir Writer’s Journey blog: http://krpooler.com


Guest Post: Managing Your Persistent Fears, Anxieties, And Stresses

25 Aug

Good Monday morning, women warriors! You know, at some point in our lives, we’ve experienced fear and anxiety. And just when we think we’ve gotten a handle on these maladies,  something happens to bring about a re-occurrence, which can be frustrating, making it hard for us to get our minds right and seek clearly.

Today, I’m excited to bring you a special guest author to Authentic Woman.  Stanley Popovich is a man who for most of his life lived in fear. The turning point came for Stanley when he decided to write, A Layman’s Guide to Managing FEAR. Please join me in welcoming this nationally known author to Authentic Woman.





Everybody deals with anxiety and depression, however some people have a difficult time in managing it. As a result, here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their most persistent fears and every day anxieties.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is to divide the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. When this happens, a person should take a deep breath and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get their mind off of the problem.  A person could get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things.

Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that makes you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket.  Whenever you feel depressed or frustrated, open up your small notebook and read those statements.   This will help to manage your negative thinking.

Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your depression and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem.  By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future.  Remember that it never hurts to ask for help.





Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods”. Stan’s managing fear book has become very popular with over 300 positive book reviews and counting. Please read the many book reviews of Stan’s popular book by going to Stan’s website at http://www.managingfear.com/




19 Aug

thepressionDepression is an illness that kills…

It’s been one week since we heard the devastating news of Robin Williams suicide. He will be remembered for the comedic genius he was. A man whose spur of the moment silliness, brought on some belly aching laughs. Robin Williams brought laughter, joy, compassion and humor into our lives. My condolences for his loss. He will be missed.



th ypoutr life


This message of hope is for everyone who feels alone in a place of darkness:

Life Matters! You matter. Get help and make yourself better. Choose Life!

thchoice Peace, love and blessings…


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