When You Find Your Wings…
You’ll take flight & soar! Ladies in midlife transitions, how I believe that your second phase of life will soar once you’ve learned to embrace your authentic self. Authenticity becomes your truth and your truth will cause your fears to fall free. I remember just months ago wondering whether I should continue here at wisewoman2 because it seemed no one was listening…
Well, stats can be preplexing because for many mornings my words appeared to lay dormant upon the page, but on one particular day, over 300 views had been recorded, as if to say, “keep writing, you know your purpose is for the betterment of women who might need an insight into surviving life’s rough terrain from someone like yourself”… someone who have been face down in the trenches of everything not nice, only to rise up to face the challenge to sow seeds of encouragement another day.
Living life experiences can be best handled in small measures, day by day. Keep living. Keep surviving. Keep learning& applying the tools to life experiences along the way and women you’ll find you’ll take flight & soar…
Women Speak!
Today it’s your turn. Your turn to tell me what’s on your mind? I’m a woman living & learning from life experiences. Perhaps many of you haven’t come to that fork in the road where you’ve chosen to take the road less traveled, broken away from what’s expected and gone for the unknown… I’m here to tell you, life is filled with ‘unknowns’. Are we to continue to live life stifled by our comfort zones?
What are your desires, passions, fears? Women from all walks of life have them. Kudos to those who have learned life lessons on how to conquer those insidious doubts that knaws at us and somehow makes us believe the hype that we’re better off staying where we are in life& Forget about what’s on the other side of fear. Are you much better off staying on this side of your “green?” Ladies, only you can answer that.
In 2000, I was forced to wake up from a sleep of indecisiveness, sameness & feelings of isolation, the knowing that there must be something better out there that I should be doing…something I was missing because I’d allowed my true self to stay hidden & buried. My passion to help other folks. My need to write. My love for life. My desire for a more happy & productive existence. The urge to reach back & extend a helping hand to other women living life uncertain & afraid of the “unknown” .
My life is constantly evolving, hitting highs & lows. And I welcome the intrusions because it’s only life speaking. Women of authentic longings, what will you do when you encounter that fork in the road of your life?
Feeling Defeated
Those are the days when you’re left feeling like no one’s in your corner. That you’re fighting seemingly a losing battle all alone. I think that women in general and those of a certain age have been placed in this situation many a time only to ask what’s next? What else can happen to me or why am I the only one feeling maligned & abused?
It doesn’t matter under what venue; job, home, private sector , church or just between friends- there is hope for the hopeless. I’ve been a nurse for many years and it still amazes me how those in some sort of ’supervisor’ position somehow manages to make it their mission to make others feel ’small’. It’s a neverending battle, wouldn’t you agree? Women have put up with a lot of stuff only because they’ve felt there was no other choice.
I’ve got news…there’s a choice. Legislations are being put into place that will ensure some sort of protection in the workplace. Seminars & classes geared around bullying are out there for individual in crisis, those who find themselves victim & those who does the crime of violating your civil rights.
Women have like the Virginia Slims cigeratte ad of long ago ‘come a long way’ oh, but we truly have a way to go when it comes to standing firm for our rights. An authentic woman stands her ground. The days that seem endless & long will come to pass and if she keep on keeping on, she with the help of unseen an hand will emerge the victory.
Rehashing Old Hurts…
Sometimes its not what you say but how you say it that causes another person pain. In turn that person’s pain can simmer & fest into areas of unkind thoughts, deeds and alienation if someone doesn’t alter the course of hurt feelings.
Siblings are an example of how words spoken in anger can cause the injured party to turn aside their bond of kinship & start along a course of nitpicking, competing for folks to take sides and just plain ole acting out in ‘ugly ways.’ Life is short folks and it’s tme to stop the madness! (Don’t you think we have enough misery in living life experiences without going through life miserable & wishing misery upon another person?)
If you or someone you know is walking around with slighted feeling, or bottled up anger against someone else, please take the high road and forgive them their transgressions…And if you’re just not ready to reconcile with the offender, pray for yourself, for them and wish them well, but NEVER lie down before asking God for mercy, for you and for that other person as well… Authenticity begins with you…
Persist and continue to fight the good ‘fight’
Persistence pays.. it’s not just a cliche, but a fact. I’ve been focused and dogged about my vision & what’s become my passion this second phase of life. What I want to bring to the table for women in regards to succeeding in meeting challenges they will face while living life experiences that at times seem daunting and discouraging is this… “What you have to offer to the world is important if it’s important to you.”
I’ve envisioned Authentic Woman to serve as a life support of sorts in its effort to offer encouragement, inspiration and a message of hope that dreams; your dreams can be achieved with persistence, patience and a desire to bring awareness to others ,to say “I’ve been there, done that, but I didn’t give up or in to the pressures of daily influences that can cause us to doubt ourselves…
If you have a dream, a vision, a passion & a purpose; Resolve to continue the good fight, whatever that fight might become. Dig in your heels, tune out the naysayers, say your prayers and focus upon living the best phase of life yet, that of an authentic & purposeful woman in transition…
Women Facing Workplace Bullying
It’s hard out here for a woman in the workplace. Consider that we’re lucky to be among the ones still working in today’s economic decline. It’s a blessing really, isn’t it? But, there can be a downside for women in the workplace who have to put up with bullying from their employer, or some little indian chief, just because…
Research indicate that in most jobs where women are employers & bullies, they have at some point in their lives been bullied. How do you cope when everyday on the job becomes a day of ‘drama’ with your supervisor? One way to protect yourself is to document any occurrences between you & your employer so that there is collective evidence on hand if you need to take the matter further.
If you’re a woman who think that confronting your abuser in hopes of reaching out to her compassionate side could help diffuse a situation then by all means, ask to speak to her and lay out your concerns. Who knows, maybe said employer isn’t aware of the effects from her bullying tactics …
Women who tend to have supervisor on their name tag & sign your paychecks might feel entitled to treat her employees badly. In some cases it’s the wielding of power that spurs her on. That person needs professional help to find out why she takes pleasure from being an ‘ass’… I’ve come to the conclusion that many women in a position of authority forget that respect is earned & that “you must give respect in order to get respect.”
Women in the workplace, do not take abuse from your employer… female or no. Let it be known in no uncertain terms that you are a human being first & an employee second and for your own protection, document…document…document… It’s an authentic way to protect yourself on any job where you feel threatened.
Are you a babyboomer caregiver?
It happens because life happens. Babyboomer women are living longer and so are their parents. It begs the question: How do I cope? Where can I turn to get help? When women in midlife have to become responsible for their oftentimes ailing , elderly parents, stress of day to day coping mechanisms abounds. If a child of an elderly parent cannot afford around the clock care, there are Nursing facilities, Senior citizens & assisted living facilities that provides managed care for the elderly.
If it comes to having to place a parent in one of these facilities, the child must not harbor a feeling of ‘guilt’. It’s a job 24/7 having to care for an elderly person… parent or not and with women in midlife having families of their own to care for, the added stress of caring for their parents might not be the best option.
When a decision is made to seek outside sources for support & care of an elderly parent, the child will do well to investigate all avenues available & choose what feels right in regards to upkeep & cleanliness of the facility’s environment, safety, caring personnel, accessible medical personnel & suitable financial acceptability.
As women in transition age. Our parents age as well, only, they become dependent upon the decisions we make as their children in regards to their safety & well being. Choose well in your decision making & live your authentic life without regret, or remorse …
When Mothers Are Missing…
I ’m at my computer looking at a portriat of my mother, as I’m prone to do from time to time. It is a well guarded photograph of her. An image capturing a happy moment, as she smiles into the camera lens. It is a copy of a photo that my brothers ,sisters and I refuse to share with the world, simply because she’s our mom.
Many of you, like me will not have your mother in person for a warm & loving embrace… to wish a happy Mothers Day. It is for you that I write of remembrances. Places to go to within yourselves to remember ‘mama’ on days like Mother Days when our mothers are missing.
Know this: You might be catagorized as a ‘motherless child’ but you’re never truly without your mother. She is you… She is your child… She is the uncanny resemblance of a stranger. She is always within the realms of your fondest memories. Your mother maybe missing in person on those special Mother Days, but always know she’s never missing in spirit…
Have a Happy Mothers Day authentic woman… spend it with the ones you love…
Do You Like Your Body?
Sounds personal doesn’t it? But, believe it or not, many women despair over how their bodies are perceived by others. And its no wonder as we take into account a worldview of “beauty” How America places value on modeling themselves after what TV & advertisers have proclaimed as law… The false notion that ‘thin is in’ and curves are for the brave at heart… Actually its when women speak up & let the world know they are beautiful, no matter their size, that perhaps the perception of women body image will change…
I’m thin & I’d tried over the years to gain poundage in all those “right” places, if not for my own self esteem, then for the men because, “Men don’t like bones” remember that one? well I grew up with that mindset and the obtuse belief that I somehow needed to gain weight to gain a man’s affection.
It”s only through gaining self-awareness and the confidence to allow my true self to shine that I came to know myself and myself is ”enough” because I am comfortable in the body I’ve been blessed to have. I’m am no longer overly concerned with what the men like, per se, it’s more about what I like and ladies, I like my body. Offer me a few pounds free of charge? Gladly, I’ll accept them. However, I’m not EVER going to allow a society’s view of ’Beauty” define me…I’m not giving them the pleasure of taking my power .
I’m me. I’m free and I’m proud to be shaking what the good Lord allowed my mama to give me! What about you ladies? Are you loving your bodies?
Women Getting Creative…
The last eight years haven’t been good financially for folks living in America. Let’s face it, this economic downslide isn’t a sudden or ‘brand new’ occurrence. It’s the aftermath of poor Governing & plain ole greed… Now, the rich folks are suffering right alongside the poor. Women in this whole scenario of economic fallout, have seemingly caught the brunt of it all, having to come up with creative ways to sustain their livelihood & their families.
First know that women back in the days of our mothers found ways to feed their families by trying different avenues for survival… some successful, some not. The gist of it? You must try: If you’re lucky enough to still have a job, save monies by taking a bag lunch. Cooking? Prepare enough to tide you over for the next day, or two…Chicken, creatively can become tacos, or, a hearty soup. Ground beef used for tacos, chili & spaghetti dinners. Make your own garlic breads for these meals …clip & save on shopping for foods.
Drive? Carpool yours&your neighbors kid while they spend quality time doing whatever…switch the script. Take the elderly shopping in exchange for fresh garden vegetables. Better still, grow your own. Barter for your services . Take into account the restauranteer gettting free dental work in exchange for his dentist eating free meals at his establishment.
There are things women can do in this year of economic crisis to provide for their families & live above the poverty line…Women it’s time to put what your mama taught you into action…
